Mount Rushmore.
If you're reading this, so were you.
"It was revolutionary"
It's true! George Washington was named in the 18th century, while I was named in the 20th.
In his sleevies
George Washington was born in 1732, and was probably named then as well.
They’re stumped.
Because he couldn't lie
So he always stays in-the-pendant! (read it out loud if you don't get it)
In his sleevies
-Thanks to Stuff to blow your mind podcast
They had him drawn and quartered.
Men, step in the boat.
I look at her and ask: Why do they call it a Satin dress when you will be standin’!
I was almost thrown from the car - and I was driving! (Museum was cool, bit stiff though)
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
In that sense, he was on the money.
I think it had just delivered a package or something.
You musket down here
Some really big fans there.
it got removed because it was “too General”.
But nobody visits the Metric War Museum, just across the road.
All the displays were static.
There wasn’t much to see
Presidentures
Dave was bragging to his boss one day,
"You know, I know everyone famous there is to know"
"Go on - Just name someone, anyone, and I bet that know them"
Tired of his boasting, his boss decides to call Dave's bluff,
"OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"
"Not a problem boss"
"Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it"
So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door.
Tom Cruise is at home and answers the door himself and shouts,
"Dave! What's happening?"
"Great to see you!"
"Come on in for a beer!
Although shocked and more than a little impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical and he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just pure luck.
"No, no, just name anyone else then"
Dave says.
"President Biden!"
His boss quickly retorts.
"Yup"
Dave says, "We're buddies from years ago"
"Let's fly out to Washington and I'll show you"
So they fly out to Washington and go on the Whitehouse tour"
"While walking through the White House, Biden himself appears, spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,
"Dave, what a surprise,it's great to see you again after all this time"
"I was just on my way to a meeting but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up"
After they leave the White House grounds the boss tells Dave that he's still not entirely convinced.
Dave again implores him to name another famous person.
After thinking about it for a long timethe boss replies with,
"The Pope!"
"Sure thing!"
Says Dave,
"I've known the Pope for years - since before he became Pope in fact"
So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Saint Peter's Square at the Vatican.
Dave says,
"This will never work"
"I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people"
"Tell you what, I know all the Pope's guards here as well so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him,
"What happened?"
His boss looks up and says,
"It was the final straw"
"You and the Pope came out on the balcony and a Japanese tourist next to me said, to me... "
"Who the hell is that on the balcony with Dave?"
When I asked if they'd decided on a name yet, he said "remains to be seen"
Because he couldn’t lie.
A buck
The chopping mall
So Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (US), is a HUGE tourist trap. We’re talking zip lines, roller coasters, Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum, Ferris wheels, life sized King Kong, etc. Anywhoo, I was driving the family through this insanity when my wife pointed out a building to the kids and said “look at that one with all the giraffes on top! I wonder what that is!” Without missing a beat I said, “Welcome, to Giraffic Park!” And hummed the theme song while navigating through a left hand turn. I was proud and laughed out loud at my own joke. My 7 year old loved it.
In his sleevies.
He was named in 1732 and I was named in 1992.
In his sleevies.
Men get onto the boat
In that regard, he was on the money.
Get in the boat.
In that regard, he was on the money.
My name isn't the same as his I was just named after he was.
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
