The Four Puns

A list of puns related to "The Four"

Four for the price of one
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👤︎ u/East-Jeweler
📅︎ May 26 2021
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What is grey, has four legs, howls at the moon, and eats cement?

A wolf...

I just added the cement to make it hard.

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👤︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
📅︎ May 17 2021
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Why did the clock go back four seconds?

Because it was hungry

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👤︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
📅︎ Feb 23 2021
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The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...

I bet it would murder the game.

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👤︎ u/RufusMoray
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day four

Want to hear a chimney joke?

I got stacks of them, first one's on the house

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 16 2020
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An man at a bar didn’t want his wife to know he was out all night. But he was so drunk he couldn’t even stand and had to crawl all the way back home on all fours.

He got home he reached up for the door knob and opened the door, crawled upstairs and into his bed with his wife. His wife in the morning said “Why were you out all night?” He said “How did you find out?”

She said “The bar called. They said you left your wheelchair again”.

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👤︎ u/MeGoHungaBunga
📅︎ Dec 26 2020
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Who was the only celebrity with four body parts in his name?

Tony Hancock

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👤︎ u/BitcoinBanker
📅︎ Nov 26 2020
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I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.

He was sailing on the seven C’s

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👤︎ u/serialcompliment
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
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Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
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👤︎ u/danarchist
📅︎ Nov 09 2020
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I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.

The fifth one was dead sirius.

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 08 2019
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My four year old has been learning Spanish and still can’t say the word please.

Which I think is poor for four.

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👤︎ u/justbeatitTTD
📅︎ Oct 23 2020
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There once was a record store. The owner was seventy-four. One day he fell ill then wrote in his will , “bury me with records galore”

It was his vinyl resting place

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👤︎ u/Josentangles
📅︎ Nov 14 2020
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What did the two-by-four say to the cement?

"I'm board!"

The cement responded, saying "that joke leaves me mortar-fied."

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Oct 24 2020
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Most people think that the word “Queue” is just the letter “Q” followed by four silent letters. But they are not silent.

They are just waiting their turn.

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👤︎ u/HarshMillennium
📅︎ Apr 04 2020
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Do you know the four keys to success?

S, U, C, and E

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👤︎ u/pikachu5159
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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I taught my four year old son how to use the word abundance in a sentence.

He said "thanks Dad, that really means a lot".

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👤︎ u/virtual_no_body
📅︎ Sep 16 2018
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Ahh.. nothing like the passing of the four seasons here in lovely Ireland

Easily my favorite day of the year.

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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
📅︎ Jul 14 2020
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The four musks of the apocalypse
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👤︎ u/joemama5lol
📅︎ Dec 28 2019
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Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).

The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.

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👤︎ u/dontcryformegiratina
📅︎ Sep 04 2019
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The four building blocks of life.
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Mar 05 2018
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There's a new Fab-Four cover band - The Eetles.. Biggest difference?

"Let'r Be"

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👤︎ u/dabiker68
📅︎ May 02 2020
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A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?

She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.

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👤︎ u/danielsoft1
📅︎ Feb 10 2020
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Did you hear about the man who stole all four wheels off a police cruiser?

The cops worked tirelessly to find him!

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👤︎ u/Bakedschwarzenbach
📅︎ Jul 22 2019
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The URL for Just for Laughs is hahaha.com, but it should be hahahaha.com because that's just four laughs, dot com.
👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/Cashtronauts
📅︎ Jul 20 2015
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“Dad, did you know that one out of four kids in the world still faces hunger?”

Dad: Someone should immediately turn that kid around.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 23 2019
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The temperature in Motown is Three degrees, Four tops
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👤︎ u/graemeboyle
📅︎ Nov 04 2019
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From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?

A square dance

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👤︎ u/dadacolt45
📅︎ Dec 18 2019
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Why did the four-legged semiaquatic carnivorous mammal cross the playground?

To get to the otter slide.

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👤︎ u/Squibblezombie
📅︎ May 30 2019
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With my last wish, I asked the genie for two more Liam Neeson kidnap movies, even though I knew I would only get Taken Four granted.
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👤︎ u/wizard7926
📅︎ Jun 25 2019
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This morning our bus driver accidentally spilled some hot coffee on himself, swerved across four lanes, and then complained about ruining the front of his pants.

Asshole. He should have seen the back of mine.

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik
📅︎ Oct 30 2019
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IV always liked the Roman numeral four.
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👤︎ u/5parky
📅︎ May 25 2018
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What do you call a man that tells the future and has four dark spots around him?

A foreshadow

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👤︎ u/Honeytoast123
📅︎ Aug 17 2019
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(Long one) a kid was told to learn the first four letters of the aphabet

He wemt to his mum, who was doing work, and asked, "mum, whats the first letter of the alphabet?"

Mum: Shut up and go away!

Kid goes to his dad, who just got a perfect score in darts, and says: Dad, whats the second letter of the alphabet?

Dad: 180!!

Walks to older brother who was playing batman video games: whats the third letter of the alphabet?

Brother: na na na na na na na na BATMAN!

Walks up to younger brother playing with toys: whats the 4th letter of the alphabet?

Brother: driving my little red car.

Kid rolls up to school, ready to recite the first 4 letters of the alphabet.

Teacher: whats the first letter?

Kid: Shut up and go away!!

Teacher: HOW MANY HOURS OF DETENTION DO YOU WANT

Kid: 180!!

Teacher: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Kid: na na na na na na na na BATMAN

Teacher: HOW DO YKU THINK YOULL GET AWAY WITH THIS?!?

Kid: Driving my little red car

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👤︎ u/CubingWithAlex
📅︎ Aug 17 2019
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My dad dadjoked my four year daughter at the beach yesterday.

Went to the beach with my family and brought my parents. My wife was making everyone sandwiches when my four year old daughter became impatient and started whining that she wanted her sandwich next.

My dad picked up a handful of sand and slowly poured it out of his hand while saying "What is the matter? Look at all the sand which is here!"

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👤︎ u/robinson217
📅︎ Jul 27 2014
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Four hundred years ago, the pagan minority in Salem learned a valuable lesson about dealing with religious fanaticism

Be careful what you witch for

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👤︎ u/The_Possum
📅︎ Jul 09 2018
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I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.

But the fifth one— dead Sirius.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 26 2020
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The final four letters in the word “queue” aren’t silent...

They’re just waiting their turn...

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ May 21 2018
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I found the first four books in the Harry Potter series to be quite light hearted.

The fifth was dead Sirius.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Apr 28 2019
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