Why was the waiter fired from his job?

Because he was too impatient

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_ZEN0N_
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Some people think that being a waiter is a bad job or the result of poor choices...

but hey, at least I put food on the table...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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Waiter: β€œHow do you like your steak, sir”?

Sir: β€œLike winning an argument with my wife”.

Waiter β€œRare it is!”.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boredhanda
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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Our waiter at a Chinese restaurant said "Soy sauce" . . .

So I said "Hola, Sauce. Soy papΓ‘."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BibliosaurusLex
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Policeman taking a witness statement from the waiter after a shooting at a vegan bar..

Policeman: Can you describe the shooter? Waiter: 6 feet, white male, grey shirt and a skirt made of parsley. P: Parsley? W: Yes. It was just a herb he wore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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A waiter at a german restaurant warned me that the meat they used for sausages was suspicious. I replied: " It's okay...

... I've had wurst."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeksTheFly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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So I was at Chili’s the other day and when a waiter came to take our order, I asked him to turn the heat up and when he asked why

I replied it seems a bit chilly in here. I’m now banned at all Chili’s restaurants in the USA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, β€œDo you want to hear today’s special?”

I said, β€œYes please.”

Waiter: β€œNo problem sir. Today is special.”

Edit: You guys are way too generous. Thank you.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Waiter, I'll have the omelette please.

"Eggcellent choice sir."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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The Waiter [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChumpsLand
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Why did the computer become a waiter?

'cos he was a server

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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A waiter asks the "How did you find your steak, Sir?"

Me: I just looked next to the mash potatoes and there it was!

Source: tedthestoner2.0.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jabhiram
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What does a tea hater say to the waiter who brought them tea when they ordered coffee?

That's not my cup of tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BowelMovementator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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A blonde orders a pizza and the waiter asks if she would like it cut into 6 or 12 pieces.

"6 please. I could never eat 12."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Waiter : "How would you like your steak cooked"?

Me : "Take a guess"

Waiter : "Medium rare"?

Me : "Well done"

Waiter : "umm, huh"???

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner

Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.

Sisters kids: Who? WHO?

Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!

cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other

Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad Me: I'm a faux pas

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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The waiter pillar is very nice, 5 starr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potoooooooo53
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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How did you find your steak?" asked the waiter of a patron in the very expensive restaurant.

Just luck," the hungry man replied, sadly. "I happened to move that small piece of potato, and there it was!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Certainly," he replied.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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A sunflower walked into a restaurant around noon. The waiter asks "where would you like to sit?"

"by the window," the sunflower responded. "I'm only here for a light meal."

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What does the penguin waiter says?

Waddle'll it be?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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You’ll do a lot of dumb things in your youth, son, and that’s okay, because most of the consequences won’t follow you into adulthood. But you know what will always come back to haunt you?

A ghost boomerang

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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So the customer asks the chef if anyone orders steak raw and the waiter replied β€˜yeh but that’s rare’
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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What did the duck say to the waiter?

Put it on my bill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyPert
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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What did the skeleton waiter say to his table?

Bone AppΓ©tit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th7rtyFour
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Did you hear about this new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu. You get what you deserve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AfricanWarrior96
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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Did you hear about that dumb movie about two light bulbs?

It is called dim and dimmer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-Man54
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Why did the egg tip the waiter

Because the food was eggcellent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yakismoki899
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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My waiter asked me if I wanna box for my leftovers.

I said, "No but I'll wrestle you for them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Son_of_Biyombo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.

β€œThat’s a naan-starter” I told him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullhead20
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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It is
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egyptiancowboy05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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The waiter approached me as I finished eating and asked, β€œyou wanna box for those leftovers?”

I replied, β€œNo, I hate violence. May I just pay for it with my card?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/absolriven
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stunner19
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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I always wanted to be a Hollywood waiter.

So I decided to get a job as a film star and hope a chef spots me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What did the Eastern European waiter say to the customer when he asked where the food was?

I’ll Serb you shortly sir.

(Eastern Euro joke 3/7)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkkiller1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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What did the Nordic man say to the waiter when he was done his meal?

Thanks, I’m Finnish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHarrison007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.

I call him Dr. Awkward

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moc_gordy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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I went to a restaurant and the waiter sat me down and asked if I'd like to see a dessert menu.

I said "No, that's the last thing I want"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eastawat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Repluse
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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A Good Waiter
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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I went to a restaurant and when I sat down the waiter asked "comfortable"?

I said "no, comeforfood"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Waiter: do want a box for your leftovers?

Me: no. But I’ll wrestle you for them!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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