What did the doughnut at the counter say to the other doughnut at a blood bank?

thanks for dough-nating!

fuck me, im sorry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalajasavakuy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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A taekwondo student walks up to the seller in a doughnut store. What did the seller say?

Taekwondo nut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HelloCrat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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The healthiest part of a doughnut Is the hole.

Unfortunately you have to eat the rest of the doughnut to get to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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The Earth has a doughnut shape.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrokenMop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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So I went to the Doughnut Shop and bought a dozen orders of a dozen doughnuts.

It was totally gross.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nofate301
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Did you hear what happened to the Middle Eastern man who ate an old chickpea doughnut?

He subsequently falafel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Aerosaurus_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
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I just ate the best doughnut

In the hole world

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gunter_smith
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2018
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Why do innocent bakeries get mad by unwanted incoming calls?

Because they are on the doughnut call list

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Pun Time!

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the hole business.

A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

I took a picture of a field of wheat, it was grainy.

Any others? Your turn!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaRaequaza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2016
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The Bakery (It’s a story)

So I went to a bakery right. I wanted a cake for a friends party. When I asked for a red velvet (his fave) they said they didn’t have any. Well that kinda put me in a sour mood to be honest. One of the bakers pulled me aside and told me he could make one for me. This man really rose to the occasion and saved my day. He even cut the fee (It was the yeast they could do) and I didn’t rye about the wait. I mean if someone is baking you a cake personally I doughnut think you can complain. At the end of the day I got my cake and that was that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSleepyWulf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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Jam is made of sticks

Was walking round a public park today with the family, and the where these big doughnut shaped bushes. I told my 8 daughter they are full of jam...

Her: Don't be stupid, they are full of sticks.

Me: But what is jam like when you get it on your fingers?

Her: it's sticky...grrrrr < KICK >

Me: Owch! < lol >

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mub
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden


What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.


Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.


The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.


Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.


Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.


What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?


Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!


What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.


What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!


A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.


Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.


You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.


Mexican candy makes my taste buds say β€œOLE!”


FORGET LOVE… I’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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my proudest moment

Last week, I took my friends to my parents house at the beach for a couple days for fun vacation times. One of my friends bought a box of cheerwine krispy kreme doughnuts, but one of the tasty morsels mysteriously disappeared in the night. The day after, we discussed the culprit options. One person said "maybe it was your dad," another said "maybe it was your mom," and I said "or maybe it was one of us.." A couple seconds of silence passed, then I had the biggest pun eureka moment in which I excitedly chortled, "Man, this is a real WHODOUGHNUT!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gooseyp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2011
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I know a weight loss diet that works with fried confectionary!

All you have to do is eat the doughnut whole

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mask-of-oranges
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2016
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Hitler's Doughnut, Original joke

One day during the middle of World War II Hitler woke up craving a doughnut. He called for one of his soldiers to go retrieve him one. The soldier left before realizing Hitler never told him what kind of doughnut. Not wanting to go back and ask and be punished for taking too long the soldier got a jelly filled and went back. Upon seeing the doughnut, Hitler withdrew his pistol and shot the soldier square in the chest then called in his guards to clean up the body, and sent another soldier off to get a doughnut. Not wanting to be shot like his predecessor, the second soldier got a dozen in a variety and went back. Hitler looked over the box and again withdrew his pistol and shot the soldier. He called in a third soldier and sent him to complete the job the other two had failed. Soon enough, the third soldier had made it there and back. He timidly walked Into Hitlers room and presented him a single doughnut. Hitler looked at it and said "Finally, white powdered!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oriyagi
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2014
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