The deal has been sealed.
What did the kernel of corn say to the other after they sealed the deal?
“I guess it’s kettled then!”
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo
You know what's the big deal?
Man was selling a really nice JBL speaker for just $1! Said the volume was stuck at max volume permanently. But what a deal!
How could I turn that down!?
What's the deal with those people who take care of chickens?
What’s the deal with people who get fired from the U.S. Mint?
None of them make cents anymore!
I saw a great deal online for a 'Replica Rolex' for only $50. I just opened the box and found it is completely made of wood...
To make matters worse, it is covered with a dark circular imperfection in the wood grain. I won't accept this - knot on my watch.
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
The re-opening of LEGO stores in 2020 was a big deal
People were lined up for blocks.
My wife said the best way to deal with bugs in the kitchen is to just leave them alone.
Personally I think that is just ignore ants.
If you want the best Sandwich Deal there is…
Go to Kent. You'll find both of those there.
I was at work when i passed by the interviewer's office and saw a small bear walk out depressed, I went in and asked "Whats his deal?"
They said he wasn't Koalafied
Well, that seals the deal
What's the deal with a door and a bell?
On their own they are not really cute, but together they are adorable!
As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.
As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y
What’s the deal with airline food? (COVID-19 Themed)
Dad: What’s the deal with airline food?
Kid: I don’t know dad, what?
Dad: I don’t know either I’m quarantined
A genie granted me one wish. I wanted to be rich, but didn't want to deal with the IRS and decided I wanted wealth as I needed it. So I wished for the touch of Midas.
After that, everything I touched turned into a muffler.
Hear about the jazz player that made a deal with the devil?
My dad tried to take the phone from me, saying he could get us a better deal on internet.. I hate this man, lol
He took the phone, and said, in the voice of Freddie Mercury, "Is this the wi-fi? Is this just fantasy?...Caught in a landline, we don't need AT&T.." and then passed the phone back. We already have AT&T, and I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A FRIEND THAT DOES ACCOUNTING?, NOTHING TO DO WITH SOMEONE CALLING OUR HOUSE. No more Crockpot broccoli and cheese soup using weed butter for him. Good god... I'm almost impressed. We also haven't had a landline in years. God bless this small dog weilding, vaping man.
I don't get what's the big deal in making a pastry?
The Green New Deal now has Dadjokes as a major pillar
We are the foremost experts in recycling!
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,
"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."
What's the name of the space bounty hunter who used to host Deal or No Deal?
How did the supervisor deal with the incompetent employees?
Who had the hottest Black Friday deals this year?
I really don’t get what the big deal is with that black hole.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
What's the, what's the deal
My son gets really excited when we go to the natural history museum. When he gets near the prehistoric bones, he just explodes with excitement and I can't deal with is new strength.
I'm just not qualified to handle his dino-might.
Who deals with the funerals of gods?
An immortician
>A dumb joke a thought up playing hockey one day
When Northern Europe was bartering for its land, all they wanted was a little something to Sweden the deal.
What hospital ward deals with the most vision care cases?
Just wanted to remind everyone of all the hard work the significant others of superheroes do. They deal with so much, have to be in their shadow, yet still stand by them...
They really are fucking heroes
A family walks into a pizza place, and there's a deal - Buy one pizza, get the second free -
The dad says - 'In that case, we'll just have the second pizza!'
What was the deal with the closet?
It had a bunch of hangups. And it came with some bagage.
Did you hear about the car salesman who tried making a deal with the devil?
He couldn't a Ford to sell his Soul.
What should you do if your wife doesnt believe you about the deals at Ikea?
How did the 8th grader deal with the bully that wouldn't let him enter the restroom?
He had to fight. For his right. To POTTY!!!
What did the bird say when he got a great deal?
What do you call apps which deal with the human nervous system?
Every year at work they make us do a Sexual Harassment training, and I don't see what the big deal is...
Harassment nothing to me.
Whats the deal with airline food?
What part of the brain deals with the knowledge of trees?
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