This pun is a Cut above the rest
Did you hear about the lumberjack who cut down the wrong trees ?
He forgot his chopping list.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Why did the Cannibal cut up his victims with an icicle?
He preferred cold cuts on his sandwiches.
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down.
Do you think it's stumped?
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left half was cut off?
Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
Why did the diabetic dad cut off his son's leg?
Because he needed a kid-knee transplant.
Recently, the Kansas City Chiefs acted quickly and had to pull their team barber out mid-cut because they learned he tested positive for COVID.
Guess you could say that it was a close shave
I was complaining to my husband that the baby carrots I bought were so so big that I needed to cut them up for our 3 year old.
He said "Maybe next time you should get premie carrots instead."
Last night I dreamt I was in a swordfight with a knight, and he cut off the bottom part of my legs.
Why did the shaman cut himself when he was shaving?
Because he was the razor of the dead
A blonde orders a pizza and the waiter asks if she would like it cut into 6 or 12 pieces.
"6 please. I could never eat 12."
My roommates said I really need to cut down on the amount of deli meat I’ve been eating
But I’m not about to quit cold turkey
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
A guy I don’t know wants to cut down the trees in my backyard
I told him ‘I woodn’t do that if I were you’
Did you hear about the man who got his left part cut off?
Don´t worry, he´s alright now
How did the worm feel after getting cut in half?
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I’ll take that ban now
What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off?
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
I cut lumber for a living, but I keep sleeping on the job.
As you can tell, I'm a slumberjack.
Why did the lion get his hair cut on his way to the Chinese restaurant?
Because he wanted a Lo Mein
The sexual tension is so intense it could cut through steal.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
My daughter asked if she could cut the hair off of one of her barbies to make a boy barbie.
I said "You Ken if you want to."
My cat just cut the grass.
I figured out the best way to cut carbs!
A secretary cut the elastic band used for my physiotherapy
She multitasks as a Rubber maid
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
Mom moves expensive cuts of beef into the top shelf.
Dad: The steaks have never been higher.
How does the moon cut its hair?
How does the moon cut his hair?
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left half was cut off?
did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off?
How does the moon cut its hair?
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
How does the moon cut his hair?
How does the moon cut his hair?
Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off?
hey did you hear about the guy who cut off the left half of his body??
How does the moon cut its hair?
Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?
Oh, he’s all right now...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
