A list of puns related to "The Cured"
The Lox Smith
Long time fan, first time poster.
It was love at first sight.
"I shit you knot."
He worked it out with a number two pencil.
Solved his problems
All the other meats are terminal.
I kept forgetting to post this here, it's been years since this happened, but...
While sitting out on the back porch with my parents and some of their friends as they sip on drinks, my mom kicks my dad by accident and immediately says "Sorry, sorry, it's my restless leg syndrome."
My dad quickly but smoothly replies, "That's ok honey, you put up with my restless middle leg syndrome."
Groans were had among the wives while laughs were had among the dads. I was left in shock for a few minutes while I tried to remove that image from my head.
It’s a jab, the Punjab
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
it was music to my arse!
He gets a taste of his own medicine.
I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.
The Sausages.
I call it the Mcafee antivirus
They took him to the ICU.
It’s seafood!
Me neither... But apparently it's a riot!
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
... for insomnia
Them: Ammonia cleaner?
Me: oh sorry I thought you were the pharmacist.
It really improves your Outlook.
There’s a solution in sight.
He won't tell me what it is, but he insists it's as easy as taking candy from a baby.
The anti-dough
It's called Hep-C Cola.
Stop eating dogs.
One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment
"So, take these pills to cure your waterworks problem, then give me a tinkle." the doctor said.
Talk about headline news
I thought you might appreciate C&H's recent dad joke comic :)
An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail."
A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.
Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.
Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back.
Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."
Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note.
Doctor: "But this is $500..."
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500."
Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.
https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv
Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
We were better than the cure.
The doctor examines him, sprinkles salt and spices on him and just like that, he's cured.
::air guitaring:: The Cure
He worked it out with a pencil.
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I won't rest until I find it.
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