Giraffes can never apologize to each other.
It takes them too long to swallow their pride.
What does an elephant and a giraffe have in common?
They both start with a “G”.
Elephant’s name is George.
Some giraffe's can grow up to 18 feet.
But most only have four.
Taken from Giraffe Jokes
And I’m sure he felt the burn too!
A giraffe walks into a bar
He sits down.
"I'd like a Firley Temple, pleafe."
A biker nearby starts laughing.
"HAWHAWHAW, what kinda idiot talks like that?!"
"I have a fpeech impediment, I loft my teef in an acfident."
The biker keeps on laughing harder with every word.
"ALRIGHT THAT'F IT! YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET GIRAFFE-KICKED!!"
Why can’t candles burn during the week?
Because they only burn on wick ends
I bought an onion. Cutting it burned my eyes so badly I went back to the store to complain.
Why giraffe goes to the library after school?
Everything he reads there is higher studies.
Wanting to impress my son at the zoo today, I revealed to him, "Used to be best friends with a giraffe, but we had a falling out." Puzzled, he asked, "What happened?" I shook my head, "I don't know really, but I felt..."
"He was always looking down on me!"
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
What’s the difference between a giraffe and a jcb??
One has hydraulics the other has high boll****
My girlfriend said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it.
So I bought her a candle.
Did you know that giraffes can grow up to 18ft?
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
Because he drank coffee before it was cool.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue on a piece of pizza?
He ate it before it was cool
Came up with this joke for my surgeon at the burn center.
What do you call a guy with a thermal injury to his patella?
>!Bernie!<
A sausage says to the egg "You know, after they burn us up on that hot pan, they'll stab us with forks and cut us with their sharp knives...
The egg says to the sausage "wow, amazing - a talking sausage!"
I accidentally burned my Hawaiian pizza.
Should have used aloha temperature.
My son made that one up. Proud poppa here!
What burns longer; a red candle or a blue candle?
Neither; they both burn shorter!
Did you hear about the shoe factory that burned down?
Luckily no soles were lost.
How does a giraffe find a job?
My sister becomes physically ill when I burn her toast.
It turns out she's black-toast-intilerant.
What did the giraffe say before being attacked by a lion?
What does a burning bird do?
It flamingoes to put itself out
Did you hear about the donut shop that burned down?
It was an extra krispy kreme
my wife and I found out that our boy was convicted of burning down houses
no matter what he's still arson
Why did the hipster burn his lips on coffee?
He drank it before it was cool!
(My old Language Arts teacher said this.)
Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?
Because their head is so far from their body
The police say they burn all the weed they confiscate.
That would explain the doughnuts.
What is the fastest growing city in the world?
Capital of Ireland
It's Dublin everyday
What the fuck has happened to this sub!?
http://m.imgur.com/ImM3RWz
Whats the difference between a lion and a Giraffe?
The Giraffe has a longer neck
Cooking a Hawaiian pizza and don't want to burn it?
Be sure to cook it at aloha temperature.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...
But Bill kept the Windows
Why don't people believe giraffes' stories?
Because they tell tall tales.
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
My Bluetooth speaker wasn’t working so I threw it into the lake.
How do you quickly burn 900 calories?
By forgetting the pizza in the oven
Why did Tiger Woods' house burn down?
Because he got rid of all his hose.
Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because it’s head is so far away from it’s body.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool
Why is a giraffes neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body...
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