I'm currently building a war forged bard. He has a chest that acts as a record player and his left arm is the horn. I'm need of name pun brilliance!!
Coworker to me: "Did you mean to do that?" Me: "Like having sex on top of a dolphin." Coworker: "WTF?" Me: "You know, I did it on porpoise."
Crickets.
Edit: My son is only 4 so I'll be saving this one for when hes a little older Edit:Edit: Yes I know a dolphin isnt a porpoise. You obviously got the joke to point that out, it has innacuracies and bad puns yet you get it. Double groan which is the goal of a dad joke. First post ever and I hate you Reddit for not recognizing my dad joke original brilliance. Yeah I might rage quit dad jokes on my first post ever which is about sex on a dolphin .
Who is the greatest dad? Who can make people let out the biggest groan? Dads and mothers (and weird uncles), welcome to the DadOff!
Rules:
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Each dad describes an experience with a dad joke in one sentence only. If you need a second sentence it MUST be the punchline! Make it short so dads can go through a lot of comments.
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In your reply, try to out-dad the previous dad with a dandier joke. If the brilliance of your opponent has crushed you completely, you can forfeit by replying "Youre the Daddy".
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The fight can continue as long as its punny.
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At the end of a fight, i will count the karma for each comment and the dad with the most karma wins a groan point.
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Mostly the fight is between two dads, though a third dad can come in if he has a line he just GOTTA say. Bear in mind though, that unless your reply is brilliant, you will have lower chances of winning (because they started sooner).
At the end of each day, i will count the karma and edit the post to announce todays winners. At the end of the week, i will count the groans, and the dad with the most groans will be the crowned Daddy of Dadjokes!
If anything is not clear, pm me and ill edit the post. Good luck Dads!
So my wife's birthday was coming up, and she really loves absinthe. Lately she had been talking about visiting some bars or restaurants that served it, so I decided to splurge a bit and buy her a set of glasses and spoons, along with a nice bottle of "the green fairy."
Doing a little research, I discovered that a local distillery produced a well-regarded version of it, so I decided to hit a few liquor stores around town to see if they carried it. As luck would have it, the first place I went to did have some in stock.
I took it up to the counter and got into a conversation with the cashier. I explained how this was going to be a birthday present for my wife, and hopefully it would score me a few points in the romance department. His response: "Well, you know what they say--absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!"
I was dumbstruck. He started to apologize for his "corny joke" (as he put it), but I waved him off and was finally able to commend him on his brilliance. The best part of all--I have a great dadjoke I can repeat to co-workers and family members (or anyone else who will listen) for repeated eye rolls and exasperated groans.
