The Bridesmaid Puns

We have been friends for 5 years, and in the whole time she's known me I've never taken my hijab off around men from outside my family. I have taken it off in front of her before, but only because I was only around women, and she knew this was the case.

When we were trying on bridesmaid dresses, I offered to wear a different dress to the other bridesmaids or wear a covering over the dress so they didn't all have to conform to my needs regarding the modesty of the dress. We settled on all wearing a dress that I could wear, as the bride wanted us to match. I was happy that they accommodated me, and none of them seemed to mind wearing a more modest dress than they might have worn otherwise.

Yesterday I asked the bride if she wanted me to wear a scarf that matched the dress or of a different colour. She was startled and told me she was expecting me not to wear a hijab, because when she said she wanted us all to match she thought I understood she meant not just the dresses, but that I would not be wearing a hijab. She also said that she thought I would be ok with it since I took my hijab off while trying on dresses, which I only did because I was only around women and I was trying on some dresses that go over the head so I felt the hijab would have fallen off anyway.

I said that if I could not wear a hijab as a bridesmaid, I would not be able to be a bridesmaid. My friend is now frustrated as some of the other bridesmaids have made alterations to the dresses and cannot return them, and she would have wanted them to wear a different dress if it were not for my modesty needs. She's also annoyed that I have backed out as now there is an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

She says she tried her best to make a compromise with me, the modest dress but no hijab, and I should have explicitly said I would need to wear my hijab and not taken it off while trying on dresses. I think she should have explicitly asked if I would go without before committing to a compromise I didn't even know about.

AITA?

Edit: I messaged the other bridesmaids explaining that I can't be a bridesmaid anymore as the bride doesn't want me wearing a hijab, and the responses are coming in very much anti-bride so far. I'm hoping the others disagreeing with her on this will snap her out of it. It seems like she's overall stressed and focusing in on this one thing too much and hopefully if she stops to think about it she'll register that it's not a big deal if I'm wearing a hijab.

Ed

Let me explain so I don't sound like a bridezilla.

I dont have many girlfriends, I really only have two, so naturally I asked one to be my maid of honor and one to be a bridesmaid. But I needed a third so I asked my soon to be husbands little sister (she's 19). My husband informed me that she wanted to be a bridesmaid and was hoping i would ask her.

She happily agrees. My mom took over the wedding plans and I didn't care. All I asked was that I pick out the bridesmaid dresses, granted my mom also consulted me on everything else but ultimately the dresses were 100% my choice.

The little sister is my husbands half sister (his step mom and dads daughter). So I send her the link for the dress and advise her to get her measurements taken, because there is a custom option for the dress. It will be cheaper to order it already tailored then make minor adjustments as needed. Instead of ordering a basic size then going to get it tailored.

Her and my step mother in law did not take my advice. Instead they ordered 2 dresses, found the size that fit her then went to get it tailored. My other bridesmaids took my advice and only spent $150. Their whole endeavor cost them $600.

They asked me to go to the final fitting, they took this as an opportunity to tell me how.

A. I should of been more considerate with the cost of the dress, they have spend $600! (the dress was only $120 and $30 for shipping. They agreed upon the original cost. Not my fault you didnt take my advice

B. I should of picked a company with a better return policy, because they were having issues returning the dress that didnt fit

C. The dress has sleeves and by me not allowing her to cut off the sleeves im selfish.

Sorry but you wanted to be a bridesmaid, that means you wear the dress the bride picks. If you dont like it tough shit. Don't bitch about it to me.

Edit: Spelling

Hello everyone! I’m 27F. My friend, “Jessica” (28F) was supposed to get married over the summer. She asked me and a few of our other friends to be her bridesmaids by giving us gift boxes with things for the bachelorette party, which is going to be a long weekend in Mexico (3 of us are nurses, two are teachers, we’re all vaccinated). The box had sunglasses, a bathing suit, shoes, some jewelry, a water bottle, and a tote bag in it-they were really nice.

Well, Jessica’s fiancé got a call from her boyfriend and the wedding was called off (neither one of them knew about the other). We were all just as blindsided as he was, we had no idea.

Jessica recently contacted me to tell me that since the trip isn’t happening, she wants the bridesmaids gifts back! I guess some of the girls hadn’t taken any of their stuff out of them so they just gave them back but I took the stuff out, I used the tote bag and the sunglasses already, and after I had tried on the bathing suit I cut the tags off. When i told Jessica that I had assumed this stuff was a gift, so I had already used some of it, she got really mad and said that I should’ve saved it for the trip, and that I had to reimburse her for the price of all of the stuff.

I was going to do it just to get her off my back but then I found out when I was hanging out with her ex one day that she wasn’t the one who bought the things in the boxes-he was. So I asked him if he wanted me to reimburse him, and he said no, and that it’s just a drop in the bucket of all the money he’s down from the wedding and the extra $275 won’t really make any difference.

I’m not really worried about losing my friendship with Jessica- I think what she did to her fiancé says a lot about her character but I know her and the maid of honor-her sister-are talking a lot of shit in the group chat that I’m “stealing” from Jessica. AITA?

*no permission to use this on any website, or news please.

I posted this on r/AITA after it happened back in October, because I wanted to see if I really was, but after these months of contemplation, I’m glad with my decision. I was voted NTA, by the way.

Before we get started, I’ve known this girl for 20 plus years. I used to babysit her, and I’m 10 years older. All relevant information in what ultimately made me make my decision. At the start of last year, I was asked to be my friends bridesmaid. I’d known her for so long, was there when her fiancé proposed, was the first to know she was pregnant, the whole shebang. So, of course I said yes.

Now this girl was known to be a little spoilt, mum and dad, and nan and pop always bailed her out but she never really showed that side to me. She was a good friend through some of my problems, and I helped her through hers.

6 months out from her wedding, my son came to me and said he felt unsafe and uncomfortable at his fathers house (we are separated), mostly because of his girlfriend. My son was 13 at the time and not known to be a troublemaker, in fact, quite to opposite. He is quite the empath and is quite sensitive. To cut a very long section of this story short, I took my son and my daughter into my care 100% with the assumption that their father and I could work something out so that the kids, and I, felt comfortable with them being at his house. (Their fathers girlfriend had previous history with self harm and mental health issues, that’s why I took this very seriously) Their father ignores all communication with me, and tried to brush the situation, and was quite angry. My son took a nose dive with his own mental health (to the point of thinking about self harm) because he took all the blame for his father acting the way he was, even if I was telling him the opposite everyday. So, obviously, for the next few months it was me getting my son into doctors and therapy appointments. I also had my daughter to think about, and my 2 jobs, that during that beginning time of the pandemic, were both extremely busy. The bride knew ALL this, to the point that her fiancé said if my son needed a male to talk to he was there for him.

So The year continues on, I’m getting updates on hens night and wedding plans, helped pick the bridesmaid dresses, and went for visits with the bride leading up to the wedding, even though I had no time for myself, I’ll make time for my friends.

Hens night comes along, and I

As a wedding guest, I am just curious. Do you remember if the couple used real flowers or silk flowers (if you can tell them apart)? What about their color palettes? Do you remember what the bridesmaids wore and whether those dresses were long or short?

Just trying to get some input here.

It’s pretty satisfying after watching all of the shit she pulled all summer to see her somewhat shocked and pissed off she wasn’t asked. And then to make some lame ass excuse about why Paige was made a bridesmaid and not her. More delusional nonsense.

I do feel like I understand the rift between Amanda and Hannah and all the post-SH crap Hannah has pulled like advertising for a competitor brand of Loverboy. Shows how spiteful and vindictive she truly is. I’m proud of Amanda for not guilting herself into caving to make Hannah a part of her special day.

I'm trying to work out if I'm being stingy or not.

I was invited to be an usher at my mates wedding, he asked me to spend around £160 on a suit and shoes and get a white shirt etc.

I wasn't overly bothered as I can keep the suit and shoes, but none of the other weddings I am going to this year as a groomsman am I expected to buy anything.

This has come to a bit of a head when he has chosen a different suit that is 60 quid more and I've dug my heels in a bit.

Ultimately I have paid it as there is enough for him to plan, but am I being a stingy bastard or is his practice different to normal?

My future DH and I are due to get married on 3rd September 2022, and have been engaged since November 2019. Around a year ago, my future MIL shat all over our happy engagement period as she wasn't happy I didn't ask my future SILs to be bridesmaids. You can read all about the drama here: https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/ha11in/my_mil_is_furious_that_i_havent_asked_the_grooms/

Thank you to all those who commented on my OP, I found reading through your comments to be really helpful in reminding me I wasn't alone or going crazy!

Since my original post, I've moved 6hrs away from my friends and family to live with my fiance, who is in the military. It has been difficult not being able to see friends and family during lockdown, however I have really enjoyed living with him and it has definitely brought us closer together as a couple. He's a truly wonderful person - if it wasn't for his family, we wouldn't argue about much at all! It's honestly the only thing that has ever caused us problems.

I found the issues caused by my future MIL very traumatic and struggled to face wedding planning for a very long time. It was partly due to COVID uncertainties, but I also didn't even want to look at or think about anything wedding-related as it just filled me with anxiety being reminded of her behaviour. Some days I couldn't even bring myself to wear my engagement ring :(

Since the UK government's recent announcement and our wedding being only 18 months (!) away, we have recently got quite excited together and have started making wedding plans again, booking a cake baker, hair and makeup artist, photographer and I also booked my first wedding dress appointment for later this year as well.

In order to ease my anxiety and enable me to get to a point where I felt able to do this, I've had to go NC with future MIL for almost a year. I haven't seen her at all (she lives 5hrs away) and neither have I messaged or spoken to her on the phone. I deleted her off Facebook after her first message, and I've unfollowed his siblings so I only see their posts when I search for them. This distance I've created has helped a lot, and I let my future DH deal with all contact with his family.

In the last year, he has been home to visit his family three times - two occasions were for grandparents funerals (back in March and April 2019), and one was the August Bank Holi

First off: throwaway because my FH knows my normal reddit. Hopefully this is a more common condundrum than I think.

We're almost a year out from our wedding and I already know I want my hair in an updo - unfortunately my hair has never held curls well for more than a few hours (even when professionally done) and it'll be in May, so I want to avoid the risk and get an updo because I liked them when I went to prom and homecoming back in the day (lol) because of how I didn't have to worry about it much. I knew this even before we got engaged. I don't have a dress yet, but will be keeping it in mind when shopping.

My FH's aunt/godmother has done hair for his sister and all the cousin's weddings who've reached that point in their life, even if the bride is "marrying in". Note that this aunt specializes in cuts and color and doesn't do bridal or event styling as part of her job. We haven't seen her in person yet since we were engaged due to COVID, but I'm 99% sure the offer is coming. Unfortunately, I really don't like her work. More than half of the styles I've seen her do I don't think are just not my taste, but objectively look bad. Think showing multiple bobby pins, slicked back so much it's reminiscent of a competitive dancer, not curled before put up or teased even a bit, or has that weird "butterfly barrette" look from the 90s/2000s. She is good at doing pretty curls, but that's not what I'm comfortable going for given my hair type.

I mentioned to my FH the other day that I want to look for a HMUA next because of all the postponed weddings, and he immediately was like "oh you don't need to do that! Aunt Emma (not her name) does all the women's hair for weddings! It's pretty much a tradition. I heard she brings Panera catering to them too".

I feel like such an awful person for even posting this because it's such a generous offer, but I really would rather find a vendor that specializes in wedding hair. What do I say when the conversation comes up (AND likely at an event with lots of FH's family around)? One idea I had was that I could ask for a "trial" before dress shopping next month and if I don't like it gently say we're gonna go in a different direction if I feel like the issues aren't salvagable. But I honestly wonder if that'll be more offensive to her. Has anyone navigated a similar situation? I'm also gonna have my bridesmaids wear their hair done in any way of their choosing for contrast, so maybe if I'm the only one who needs hair done it'l

If you had a very small budget ($5k) would you pay for your bridesmaids dresses/groomsman suits or have them buy their own?

View Poll

There are 5 gentlemen joining the grooms side, and there are 3 women and 1 gentleman on the brides side (my side)

The question I have... is should I still have my bridesmaids hold bouquets? The typical thought is that the ladies hands look empty and awkward if they aren't holding them in pictures... but why can't the same be said for the men? Traditional gender norms? Clearly we dont care about that if I have a bridesman on my side, right?

Every picture I have seen of a mixed bridal party looks unbalanced when all members are cohesive in what they wear - but look unbalanced in that a singular man on the ladies side isn't holding anything (or vice versa, if a singular woman on the grooms side is holding something).

Would you still have the ladies hold bouquets? Not at all? Only down the aisle and not in pictures? Would you give the bridesman something to hold too? Would you have nobody hold anything or give everyone something a little more neutral than flowers?

I'm looking for ideas that could help things look a little more balanced.

Looking for ideas beyond things like a cup with their name on it.

This was a few years ago.

I had several bridesmaids. One of them is my friend Ruth that is definitely a free spirit — but also has had a long history of trauma from her divorce. We all knew her prior to the divorce, had suspected she was unhappy but she never really told is anything at the time. Years later, as we found out at my wedding, these issues had not been addressed through enough therapy. She is, like many people that attended my wedding, a functional alcoholic.. I am hiding names for sake of anonymity.

The night of my wedding, my husband’s co workers (let’s call them Peter and Beth) decided to throw an after party. Several of the groomsmen were actually friends of my husband he met through work (bank, corporate office). It was a very close knit work place. Attending were Jeff (my husband’s co worker and one of the managers) and his wife Wanda (principal at a local school).

Ruth got lit. A lot of folks had a really good time. Eventually Ruth couldn’t control her alcohol and showed up for the after party. The morning after she ended up showing me photos, but I heard from another bridesmaid that can hold alcohol a bit better that Ruth had shown up and made herself known to everyone. From there Ruth proceeded to talk about hooking up and asked sexual questions. She made gestures toward married men, which a few of them did return.... and I did get calls the next day hearing about the drama it caused afterward. Many folks were just at the after party to have a fun time, and most people were (unfortunately) present with their partners/spouses. Except one couple, Jeff and Wanda, whom both were clearly digging Ruth.

To paint a picture — Jeff looks like your stereotypical accountant. Wanda definitely wears the pants in their relationship, and is quite good looking but she definitely oozes of alpha female, and seems unapproachable. Ruth is gorgeous and is loud, spontaneous.

The other bridesmaid that had witnessed and served essentially as chaperone for Ruth told me that Ruth, Jeff and Wanda were clearly about to get physical at this mega after party... out in the open, where other co workers of my husband (typically more conservative) could see. Peter and Beth began politely encouraging them to leave as to avoid responsibility for what would ensue as a result of this.

We had rented larger suites for bridesmaids and groomsmen. Ruth offered to have the threesome at the suite, where other bridesmaids were staying. The morning after I wanted to die, a

Will it be annoying for them to be there with me if I'm not going to have a full bridesmaid photoshoot? How can I make it a more fun experience for them? Particularly if they don't know each other very well? I will of course get them breakfast and lunch and I won't ask them to come super early in the morning.

Looking for any input if you have been on either side of this scenario or just ideas in general!

Hi brides! I am a bridesmaid in two weddings this fall, one in September and one in October. The only instructions for the bridesmaid dress for Sept were that it needed to be jewel toned. No rules as to fabrics, length, etc. It's only a 25 person wedding due to COVID, so laid back. I just had my fitting for the October wedding and paid for a $180 burgundy dress. Since burgundy falls into the jewel tone category, can I just wear the same dress to both? The brides don't know each other. I don't mind checking with the brides, but figured I would check here first to see if anyone's feelings would be hurt.

My (22f) best friend (22f) who I’ve been friends with for 8 years is getting married in the first week of February and I was supposed to be her bridesmaid. Her fiancé (28m) has always been an absolute dick to me because he has past beef with my older brother (27m) so we do not get along at all but I tolerate him for my best friend’s sake.

The real drama started when my best friend’s fiancé decided to call my brother a junkie two days ago. For context, my brother struggled with a drug addiction since he was 18 but has been in recovery for a year now. The comment was completely uncalled for. It happened two days ago, I went over their house, her fiancé asked me “how is your junkie brother?” Obviously trying to start drama for no reason (he does that constantly) I obviously got offended because I’m protective of my brother. So I called him a “fcking cnt.” and we got into a bad fight. During this argument my bff said absolutely nothing in my defence even after he called me names.

I dropped out of the wedding and now my “best friend” is mad at me and saying I’m overreacting because “technically your brother WAS a junkie” and I should just ignore it when her fiancé makes dumb jokes. And now she’s claiming I’m trying to ruin her wedding and purposely stressing her out.

So AITA?

To preface, I have been with my husband for 10 years. We got married five years ago in March.

Where do I even start? This is by far not the wildest or craziest of bridesmaid stories but I still think about how stressful it all was. I'm super laid back. We had a very nice small time wedding. I got a $99 dress and wore green chucks bc I wanted to be comfortable on "my day". Just to kinda paint a picture of the person I am. We already owned our own home. I was in school for my Funeral Science degree. So every check we wrote all I could think was "thats a new roof... that's a tree trimming... that'snext semesters books" etc. We spent $3,000 on the entire wedding and absolutely no regrets.

Before we got married we were engaged for about a year. In that time my youngest brother's then fiance canceled their wedding twice before calling it quits (bc he watched porn lol he dodged the bullet with that one). I already had spent about $250 on this dress for my brothers wedding. It wasn't the most flattering on me (small chest) and all the colors were for a "mix and match beach wedding" and half the bridesmaids had bright pink and the other half like a bright baby/ocean blue. It was a lot of money to spend $250 so imagine how pissed I was when they officially canceled that shit. We had changed our wedding date twice for them and that third time we were like "eff it we gonna do us".

So that wedding is off and ours is on. I wanted a Vegas thing but in laws wouldn't fly so we did the local church and reception at a VFW. We made all our own stuff. Just super fun and easy going, if maybe a tad unorthodox. Saving money we were gifted all the wedding stuff my grandma paid for for my brother's wedding. I was happy to use what I could bc I hate waste and I was able to work it into spring colors. To help my bridesmaids save money my sister wore her pink dress, I just gave one of my long time friends my dress. It looked stunning on her and she deserved it. And I asked my other two to find something bright (my list was coral, yellow, lime, etc), something less that $100, and I really wanted the dresses to sorta have the same style at least so knee length. And white shawls since it would be a little cooler and my girls kinda have larger arms like myself. I was trying to make it as easy for them. "Only buy a dress you think you can use again down the road, and something bright." Was what I was all about.

So to set the stage I have my MOH, my sister. L

Hello everyone,

This is going to be the first wedding I ever attend and I am a bridesmaid. And as such I am desperately in need of advice.

The wedding is in three months and the bride (who is my childhood friend) is paying for everything. She said it is her culture to pay for everything so she’s paid for my dress, my hair and nail appointment. There will be no bridal shower and she does not have a registry for gifts. She has expressed interest in receiving money from the other guest so I figured that would be the way to go.

Also my mom, dad and younger sister are also attending the wedding. Should we give our gifts separately or together? When we got the invite it was addressed to all of us.

How much would be a good amount to give the bride?

Thats it, thats the post 🥰🥺💜 x

So I have already decided Im going to get matching robes for me & my bridesmaids to get ready in/take a couple pics in.

I was going over my wedding day timeline with my mom, discussing the hair time slots from my hair lady. My mom then started talking about deciding what she should wear while getting ready and how she thinks she’ll bring a button up. It popped into my head Im going to gift my bridesmaids bags at the rehearsal with robes and have them bring it the day of the wedding to get ready in, but I didn’t think about getting my mom, or my fiancé’s mom (who will both be getting their hair done with us as well) anything to wear or to match.

I didnt anticipate having them in the couple getting ready robe pics, I really just imagined getting like 1 or 2 pics of me and the bridesmaids sitting on a couch or something to that effect so the moms wouldn’t be in it anyway. My stepmom is also going to be around for the staged dressed pictures before the ceremony but she kinda does her own thing & idk if she will even be with us while we’re getting ready before that so then that also opens up the can of worms of then do I buy her one just in case, it just felt like it opened up a whole bunch of issues that I hadn’t thought about already, so I was leaning towards just forgetting about it. But I do want my mom and my fiancé’s mom to feel like part of the gang since we’ll all be getting ready together. Im also wondering if that seems like im infantilizing them? Idk if they would even think that at all but im also in my 20s, would someone in their late 50s and at 60 want to be in flowy short robes (of course they can always wear leggings or whatever underneath)?

So long story short lol I just want to see what other people are doing that are for sure getting robes for their bridesmaids- are you including the moms?

My wedding was March 31st 2021. It was especially nerve racking because of the pandemic. Our parents were also on the fence and wanted us to postpone the wedding but we did have the wedding. My mom had told me to invite people by word of mouth until we sent our invites out which wasn’t until January 10th. We had picked out a venue a few months before (around October). While doing all the wedding planning I’ve been in pharmacy school and also working part time so I had told my now husband to be in charge of keeping his invites in the loop and keeping his family in the loop.

My husband has a sister who lives in Texas. We’ve met a handful of times, I always thought she seemed like a nice person. In the past couple years my husband and I have dated, I’ve hung out with her maybe like 4 times. We rarely chat via message because she’s not really responsive. I’m in a group chat with my husbands mom, dad, brother and sister. She never responds to any of her family members messages. My husband says she’s the same way with him. He says that he will text her or call her from time to time and she doesn’t respond to him or responds five days later with something completely irrelevant. She’s someone who’s always doing hiking or meeting up with friends. She’s quite popular and is always posting exciting stuff on social media. My husband says that’s the only way he really knows what she’s up to. She will sometimes be in Colorado or California and he won’t know until he checks Facebook

So anyway back to the wedding stuff. Another issue that I was dealing with was my two sisters who were going to be bridesmaids were extremely picky about their dress and kept vetoing any ideas I gave them. I had planned to have my three best friends be my other bridesmaids so it was a hassle trying to coordinate matching dresses. My sisters ended up picking $700 dresses that sold out so I had to struggle to find matching dresses or similar dresses for my bridesmaids because I didn’t want them to have to pay $700. I finally found a dress by January 15th and texted them the option. Later in the week I was thinking about my husbands sister and felt that I wanted to include her as a bridesmaid as a gesture of love and sisterhood. I sent her a message about wanting her be a bridesmaid and didn’t get a response from her (which I figured was normal). So I asked my now husband is everything ok with your sister and he confirmed that maybe she’d get back to me in a few days.

A few days came and

I am (was?) in a good friend’s wedding. I’ll call her Lindsay. Lindsay’s original wedding date was August 15. We live in the US. She postponed it one year, but had a very small ceremony with just her and her now husband’s parents on the original date. She planned to have her huge wedding still.

We had picked out our bridesmaids dresses last January (2020), right after Lindsay got engaged.

Lindsay and her husband made the decision last week to forgo their huge ceremony. They said “we’re married. We love y’all but our ceremony was enough for us.” Which, fair enough.

Only? My bridesmaid dress was $400.

My husband wants me to at least ask her to refund part of it. I’d love to recoup some of it, too. But I don’t want to come across like a stingy asshole.

ETA: I had to order my bridesmaid dress when I did. They were ordered in bulk and we were informed that they must be ordered from overseas the exact date we did and no later, given everything going on. The dresses were from China. I would have loved to have waited.