A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....

When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dwele_music
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
When i wanted to take the PlayStation controller away from my little brother, I'd bribe him with a candy bar.

It was one of the Twix of the trade.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?

Rigatoni.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and her younger sisters (21 and 9) were adopted by lesbian parents. I'm going to be the only dad joke source in their lives and it's a big responsibility that I take seriously. Any suggestions are welcomed.

For the youngest siblings recent 9th birthday I put 9 dollars in a block of ice (had to bribe a local butcher shop to let me put a cooler in their freezer, worth it) But I need some long term ideas, because I intend to show this family with a lack of dads the full scope of dad jokes

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MANTHEFUCKUPBRO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
🚨︎ report
The history books got it wrong ... AGAIN

New evidence as been found that in addition to trying to sway public opinion against Tesla's advocacy of alternating current, Edison went so far as to try to criminalize A/C through the courts by claiming public endangerment.

Sounds like he was close to winning, but his own hubris did him in. He tried to assure his victory by attempting to bribe the circuit court judge.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Robots like cookies.

Friend: Did you hear that robots are going to be smarter than humans by 2045? Do you want to build a bunker now or wait for the good, stupid robots and make them do it for us?
Me: Nah, bro. We gotta do it ourselves. The bad robots will retrieve the good robots' memory and find our bunker.
Friend: Maybe we could bribe them with cookies?
Me: I doubt we have enough cookies, robots take megabytes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtaxNOOOOOO
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?

Rigatoni.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLastJoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.