Why did the melons run away and get married instead of have a big church wedding like their parents wanted?

Because they could elope.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
People have been able to change their big weddings to smaller affairs during the pandemic. But melons don't have that luxury.

They cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlwaysTheNoob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the melon have to have a big traditional wedding?

Because it Cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunkz3n
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the melons have a big, fancy wedding?

Because they cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSolo1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of fruit do you serve to the couple whose family forces them to have a big wedding?

Can’t elope

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coneskater
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Watermelon and the Honeydew decide to have a big family church wedding?

Because they Cantelope...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Meatman2013
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
"Do you know what?"

My kids have gotten to saying this a bunch, so now I reply like a dad...

"Oh ya! We went to the same New Year's party once."

"Sure! He makes the best crab dip."

"Big beard? Lousy tipper?"

"The tattoo guy?"

"Biblically."

"Gave him a 5-star Uber review."

"He was the best man at my wedding."

"I think I owe him $20."

"The bouncer at the club!? How do YOU know him?"

"Doesn't he work at the bakery next to PetSmart?"

"I heard he once punched a cop and broke his nose!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uncorked119
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
The Wong and White wedding

While in high school, Dana White met and fell in love with David Wong. After a few months the couple decided to get married. Dana insisted on getting married at sunset on the ocean on a yacht. The big day finally arrived and both families joined together to head out for the wedding. The captain of the yacht, checked the weather and saw a storm brewing. He advised the party it was not safe to travel out, but Dana and David both insisted they were going to get married on the ocean at sunset, so everyone loaded up and the boat departed. Sure enough just as the captain was performing the ceremony the storm hit, and the boat capsized killing everyone aboard. The next day the head of the the NTSB, Mr. Perry made this statement. It was a stormy night. So many Wong's and Whites. Neither would change their headstrong ways. The sea was in a rage. The captain turned the page. Their dying wasn't worth what they paid.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Got my fiancΓ©e. She is still my fiancΓ©e, but it was close.

We were driving by a vacant building that used to be a McDonald's. It's been vacant a few months and now there's a big "For Lease" sign on the property.

Her: "Looks like they're having trouble renting the McDonald's."
Me: "Yeah, I heard they had to hire a big realty company."
Her: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah. Old McDonald's has a firm."

The wedding is still on.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamHR
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Wedding Dad Jokes, buckle-up

So I'm not a dad but I do have fatherly aspirations. I told this joke at a wedding for a friend of mine. All names have changed except the bride's last name- it's a big part of the joke. My buddy we'll call Bob Smith, and his bride is Jane Patton.

After the father of the bride gives his toast, and the best man does his, I grab the mike from the best man and begin. This is as verbatim as I can remember. So I intro myself and promise to keep my comment short and say,

"Bob, I just want to say you're a great friend of mine, like a brother, and one thing I love about you is you're always surprising me. Like today for instance, I didn't know you were an inventor. Lo and behold, you've got your name on a Patton!"

Chuckles, drowned out by groans. I apologize and return to my seat.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daniffer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked the wedding photographer...

So I'm at a family wedding. The dance floor has been pretty quiet all night. It's getting late and a lot of people left already. For some reason, the DJ brings up YMCA and finally manages to get the remaining people going. By the time the Beejees come on with Stayin' Alive everyone is moving around, myself included, and there's a somewhat big group really going crazy and doing dance moves. The photographer gets real close and starts taking pictures. Then she leans over to me to talk, as I'm dancing with my girlfriend and one of her kids.

Photographer: "People suddenly really came to life, huh?"

Me: "Yes. This party is really... Staying alive."

Her groan was louder than the music.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TaTonka2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2014
🚨︎ report
Why did the fruit have a big wedding?

Cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewphoria78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Honeydew and the Watermelon decide to have a big family church wedding?

Becuase they cantaloupe...

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Meatman2013
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the two melons have a big formal wedding?

They cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justext
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.