I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
You can say there is a vas deferens.
Together we can stop this crap!
He ate it before it was cool
I told him to get to the hospital lickety-split.
Nobody else finds this humerus.
That's a moray
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
Because Lisa Kudrow.
The judge is bound to give me a tough sentence
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
"I'm measuring your patience!"
It's so nerve-wracking.
He was a private tutor.
Bob
Capital of Ireland
It's Dublin everyday
It was the hardest dump I ever took
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
And then you will all be sorry.
He got a head
It was a toot and car moon.
It’s the scenter.
Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.
Man, I'm thor.
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Minnesota.
Yeah.
It was a-bomb-in-a-bull
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
It usually resulted in a long sentence.
Outlaws are wanted
She's allergic to dandy lions
They're 11, 7, and 3
Kernel
She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."
I Acts it says they were all in one accord.
"If we keep it together, we can stop this shit!"
I hear they are gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Because he drank coffee before it was cool.
