A list of puns related to "That Sounds Good to Me"
Me: You got the goods?
Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.
Me: My, what a steel!
Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?
Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.
Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?
Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--
Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?
Student: I got I got I got I got...
Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.
Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.
Me: Which other places?
Friend: The Galactic Empire.
Guy: I hate spam.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
...
Someone: Son of a gun...
Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!
Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:
Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.
Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.
Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.
Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.
Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.
Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".
Me: how was class?
Her: alright we talked about soil. The entire lecture was on soil. How it is made, what contributes to good soil quality. And we learned the twelve categories of soil. Couldn't have been more boring.
Me: boring? Sounds pretty down to earth to me.
Her: haha that's was ridiculous
Me: what, should of I went with a dirtier joke?
Dad: So I heard that two guys drowned in [random town] this morning...
Me: That's horrible! What happened?
Dad: Apparently, they were in a kayak and they lit a fire which caused it to sink.
Me: ...that doesn't sound like a good idea...
Dad: Yea well, it just goes to show you can't have your kayak and heat it too....
… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes
[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]
Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:
January:
Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes
An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes
February:
Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes
My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes
When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes
March:
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.
[When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da
Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.
A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.
A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.
Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.
Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...
What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)
People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.
His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situation.
Time flies like crazy!
Fruit flies like apples!
Never let logic and reasoning get in the way of telling a good story. (Sounds like something that would be said on TopGear/Grand Tour)
There are a few words that will open many doors for you in life - Push and Pull (Insp)
Somehow people really don't like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up.
Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip or soap for cleaning up their act.
When you're on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.
Ghosts speak latin, it's a dead language (Insp)
If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings.
There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.
Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay.
There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company, reporters say the story is still developing.
Why do bagpipers walk around?
To get away from the noise (Insp)
Most people have a six-figure income, just the decimal point is in the wrong place.
It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.
In Russia, the term road has had a controversial meaning for a very long time.
In Canada/Russia, you put things in the fridge to warm them up.
Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?
Doc: There's something not q
... keep reading on reddit ➡The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
Hey guys, this might sound too cheesy and I'm not sure if I'm posting on the right subreddit.
Every Saturday I give my SO a printed typography paper that I personally design with a pun of her name on it (her name is Des, I call her Mae so either is good).
Problem is, I can make the designs, but I'm running out of puns. Here's a list of what I've already done:
Des puns:
Hardest
Wordes (Words)
Widest
Uncondesionally (Unconditionally)
DrivES
Dessert
Fades
Des (This)
Holidess (Happy Holidays!)
Desperate
Desision (Decision)
Decades
Desert
Destination
Dress (DrESs)
Despresso (Espresso)
Mae puns:
I'd really appreciate some help if you guys have any puns reserved. Anything will do, really.
Thanks!
EDIT: Formatting
[Mom, dad, SO, I eating Chinese food before Billy Joel concert]
[Finishing up, dad notices bunch of fortune cookies left in the box to be thrown out]
Dad: "You gonna throw all these away?"
Mom: "...are you gonna eat all of them?"
Me: "No reason to throw them out, they're worth a fortune.........."
.......It sounded much better before I typed it all out, I hope it comes across as good as it did that night.
She is a regular attendee of the Renaissance Fair, but I have never gone. I really want to go, so she said she will take me this year. When I brought up the county fair at the end of the summer, I found out that she had never been to it. I offered to take her to that. She was all in board with that idea.
"Good," I said. "That sounds like a Fair trade to me!"
I was telling him about how I needed to go say goodbye to a good friend of mine tomorrow. My friend is a new second lieutenant of the US Air Force and he's leaving to go to his assignment soon.
Boss: Hey, how many lieutenants are there in the Air Force?
Me: I don't know. A lot I guess.
Boss: Well, I think it's pretty cool that he came in second.
My groan sounded a lot like laughter.
Me: Are you sure you want me to drop you off to tailgate in the rain like this?
Her: Yeah it's fine, we have a canopy.
Me: Ugh, that doesn't sound very good. A whole can?
Me: How would you feel about a holiday cruise?
Dad: That sounds good, we can start at Christmas Island and go to Easter Island.
Me: (shakes head)
a friend's text to me: I have eaten three mini hot dogs
my response: Frankly, that sounds delicious
I declare you the weiner of the food contest
I hope you dance your buns off
I relish the opportunity to ketchup at a later date
I feel like I could have done more - any other good ones out there?
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
I said this to my brother yesterday & immediately thought of this subreddit. It works because we're arabic. We went on a bike ride yesterday...
Bro: hey, let's take a detour & go this way
Me: sounds good. I'm not Russian. I'm syrian
Ahhhh my dad lives through me. That's something cheesy he would say.
I'm away at university and my dad calls me up while I'm doing last minute homework:
Dad: What are you up to?
Me: Just finishing an essay about Dickens' Hard Times for class. I'm really busy, can I call you back in a couple hours?
Dad: Oh, that sounds like a hard time!
Me: (Sarcastically) Well it's not the MOST fun I've ever had.
Dad: (long pause followed by a sigh) Are you having a hard time with the joke?
Me: No, (chuckles) I get it dad... but I've got to go!
Dad: You sound like you're having a hard time.
Me: Dad, I got it.
Dad: (scoff) Ahhh, I'm just giving you a hard time!
Me: Dad.... I've got so much work to do.
Dad: I'll let you go then; glad to be of help during this hard time. Good luck on your essay! (hangs up)
So I went Black Friday shopping this morning and on my drive back home I got pulled over. I called my dad to break the news to him.
Dad: Did you get any great deals out there? Me: Not really. In fact, it was really expensive. I just got a $145 ticket for speeding. Dad: Wow. I've never heard of anything like that. That doesn't sound like a good deal to me. Me: I know. Talk about an expensive mistake. Dad: No, I've never heard of the band "speeding" and there is no way they are good enough for me to pay $145 dollars to see them. Hahahahaha
Dad humor is 1000x's better than yelling.
I think I "invented" this joke when I was around 15, but I'm sure others have as well since it's not too subtle. The key, though, was that I waited for just the right moment to use it for the first time.
I had an ear infection, so I went to the doctor, who took a look and quickly diagnosed it and wrote a prescription and handed it to me.
> Doctor: It's just an ear infection, so 4 drops of this daily should clear it right up.
> Me: [Reading the prescription, and seeing the name of the antibiotic, but I may be wrong about the name, so if anyone knows the right name, please reply.] [Completely seriously.] Oraline? So, I put the drops in my mouth?
> Doctor: [Quizzically.] No, no, no, you put it in your ear!
> Me: Oh, I read the name, and "Oraline" sounds like something you'd take orally.
> Doctor: Nope, in the ear.
> Me: [Remembering my dad joke.] It's a good thing that you didn't prescribe me analgesics.
The doctor had no reaction, just said their deadpan goodbye and left. I've wondered if they didn't get it, didn't think it was funny, or had heard it hundreds of times before.
Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.
While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).
I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)
The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."
I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.
Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)
What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"
Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.
I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)
I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".
I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten
... keep reading on reddit ➡My roommate isn't a fan of reading. "It's a waste of time," according to him, so he prefers movies. After finishing a movie today he told me it happened to be based on real events, saying he might have to look it up. The following was our IM.
Me: Neat, that sounds like a good read, yeah?
Roomie (b/c the movie had a sex scene): But words don't have tits, so there's one problem, lol
Me: Lord. Maybe you should try reading some smut sometime. It's puts on sunglasses titillating! Yyyyeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
Roomie: Guh. Awful
I think I owe him a pint, now.
BACK STORY:
So I got a new job through one of my good friends, and while working with him I shook hands with my boss Chad, awesome guy. As we were making small talk I was stuttering a bit, and my good friend, Neil, loves messing with me about it.
Me: Yeah, that sounds g-g-great
Neil: T-T-TODAY JUNIOR, jeez can your mouth ever talk straight?
Chad: Hey it's legal now so if his mouth wants that, it's none of my business and more power to him.
Me: But my mouth is bi
Neil:Bi what?
Me: Bi my nose
Chad laughed hard, this will be a great job. More dad jokes to come, I'm sure
Quick backstory: there is a bar in my town that all new alumni of the town's university sign upon graduation. My friends and I were in their celebrating a 21st birthday on Saturday and I just graduated. The bar is a restaurant in the daytime and they have great sundaes.
My friend asked the bartender for a sharpie so I could sign the ceiling. The bartender didn't have one and this was our exchange:
Me: "Ah let's come in tomorrow and get sundaes and I'll sign the ceiling."
Friend: "Sounds good to me."
Me: "It could be a sundate."
Friend: "Really...."
Me: "Convenient on Sunday!"
Friend: "Jokes on you it's going to be really cloudy!"
Me: "So then it's just clou-day."
Friend: "Get out." (Turns back to me while cringing)
My dad recently started working out, and so he got a personal trainer at our local gym. Earlier today they were texting each other....
Dad: Hey, are you available 5pm on Tuesday?
PT: I believe so. Let me get back to you to confirm that.
Dad: K, sounds good. I'm free other days as well, so if Tuesday doesn't work then no sweat :)
My dad was telling me all the fancy features and telling me how efficient it is compared to our old gas furnace.
Me: Well it sounds like we are going to saving a bunch of money on our heating bill! That's awesome.
Dad: yeah it's super efficient. So I'm pretty pumped!
Me: -_-
Dad: shit eating grin and a good chuckle
Me: god dammit dad
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up? Friend: I dunno, maybe a doctor, but a good one. I don't want to be a Gastroenterologist or something like that and look at assholes all day Me: Yeah, that sounds like a shitty job groans from everyone at the table
I'm on my mobile, so I apologize for any typos.
Today I had a simple surgical procedure at my local podiatrist.
At the end of the procedure the doctor was applying an acid to the surgical site, and I asked what he was using.
Doc: "...this is called Phenol, and it discourages the regrowth of the ingrown nail."
Me: "That sounds phenolmenal!"
He stopped what he was doing for a moment, and we had a good laugh, turns out he had never heard that all to obvious pun.
Also, I'm pretty sure khakis are going to sprout from my legs pretty soon.
I'll keep you all in the loop on that front
My father has learned to do this whenever I am most vulnerable and unsuspecting and he usually gets me, but here's how it goes
(normal conversation) Me: Says something about being hungry
Dad: Hey, want a Snicker bar?
Me: Yes please!
Dad: Me too, that sure sounds good right now.
Me:....
This morning my father was trimming the hedge in the front yard as I mowed the lawns. He called me over, it sounded important.
Dad: "If I were to pay someone to practice hegemony* on this hedge, because I don't want to do it myself, where would they put the funds?" Me: "Hedge fund. Good one."
Me: I found that cardstock to make your anniversary card.
Him: Sounds good for soup!
So I was just browsing reddit and eating some noodles. I came across this video about a guy who is only able to use one sound to communicate. Just as I was stopping the video, my roommate came over and asked me what I was watching. I said, "Just some guy who can only say 'tono'. I stopped watching because it got really repetitive." He told me that I would make a good dad some day :)
Would you like strawberry shortcake or blueberry pie with ice cream?
(Either answer)
Yeah, that sounds good to me too. Too bad we don't have any!
*my Grandpa (rip) to my dad repeatedly, now my dad to me regularly
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