Edit: Please keep it to the 3 NPCs from GUDAGUDA Close Call. We aren't talking about Katsuie, or Akechi, or Maxwell's Demon.
Tanaka Shinbei
Takechi Zuizan
https://preview.redd.it/qv2qcdtrht581.png?width=414&format=png&auto=webp&s=5c9a1647bac066a9ddf1bfa5c695705ab709aafe
or Takasugi Shinsaku
https://preview.redd.it/5lmbioqsht581.png?width=590&format=png&auto=webp&s=a7a9fa703d0c86f0b24636010139adf49420180e
You only get one though.
Also, what would Takechi and Takasugi's classes be?
January
2 - Satomi Akesaka (Kato Danzo) - 34
8 - Chitose Morinaga (Bradamante)
8 - Rie Suegara (Galatea) - 32
14 - Haruki Ishiya (Beryl) - 30
14 - Shiki Aoki (Jacques de Molay [F]) - 32
17 - Reina Ueda (Gray) - 28
19 - Misaki Kuno (Beni-enma) - 29
20 - Marina Inoue (Barghest) - 37
20 - Ryosuke Morita (Tanaka Shinbei)
21 - Yumi Hara (Anastasia) - 37
21 - Nana Mizuki (Kagetora) - 42
22 - Minami Tanaka (Nitocris, Ortlinde) - 26
26 - Toshiyuki Morikawa (Douman) - 55
29 - Ayane Sakura (Musashi, Medb, Chiyome) - 28
Note: because this will start becoming very confusing very fast, I'll mark the new Ryoma's name with both bold and italic, rather than just bold for regular Ryoma.
Part 5 - The Two Ryoma
Section 1:
Ryoma and Oryou continue their investigation of the city.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> Seems we finally found it. The kinno-to headquarters...
Oryou-San:
> What now? Should we head back and let the others know?
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> Probably. I would have liked to go a bit further, but best to play it safe.
Okada Izou:
> That's not how this works...
Izou appears before them.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> Izou...
Oryou-San:
> Hey, what have you switched sides for, Izou? Have you gone and been brainwashed again?
> This is exactly why you're such an untrustworthy Assassin.
Okada Izou:
> Cram it, Oryou. I need to have a talk with Ryoma.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> Izou, could it be that you and Takechi...
Okada Izou:
> I don't want you coming here telling me what's what. Besides, which one of us is the real turncoat?
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> What's this all about...?
The other Ryoma appears.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> It's about this, you see.
Oryou-San:
> It's...the other Ryoma?
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> The Servant claiming to be me...
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> I'd say you're the one going around using my name, no?
Oryou-San:
> Hmph, Oryou won't be fooled by imposters...
> ......?
> What's going on...? Hey, what's up with this!? You...who the hell are you!?
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> Oryou...?
Oryou-San:
> As if Oryou would make a mistake like that...
> Why do you look identical to Ryoma!?
Back at the agency.
Chacha:
> By the way, could Okuni actually be Izumo-no-Okuni?
Izumo no Okuni:
> How so? I don't know if I've ever met you before or not...
> But it's true, I am Izumo-no-Okuni.
Chacha:
> I'll spare you the details, but it's me, you know, Lord Taiko one and only Yodo-no-Kata.
Izumo no Okuni:
> Huh? Lady Yodo-no-Kata?
> No no, you're way too young to be her! But there sure is a resemblance in your face.
> What did you do to become such a CUTIE once more?
[You know each other?] / [You know her too, Mori?]
Option 1:
> Chacha:
> > Taiko enjoyed it so much that he often requested her to come dance.
Arrow 1
Flashback time. A younger Takasugi is at a beach with Sakamoto. Reminiscing, and wondering whether the country will truly change. Sakamoto thinks it'll be a while longer; defeating the Shogunate is not enough. Sakamoto also thanks Takasugi for the pistol. Thanks to that, he escaped from the Terada inn with his life. Takasugi waves him off -- it was thanks to that woman. But where did he find her? Sakamoto says he met her on a mountain when he went to Satsuma. They begin to wrap up their talks and confirm they'll meet up in Edo, which is where they also met for the first time. After Sakamoto leaves, Takasugi claims he'll accomplish something even more interesting than Sakamoto, so he should look forward to it. Just as he says that, he coughs up blood. This is not interesting at all to him.
Returning to the Singularity, we're back in the underground storage area. Takasugi is being filled in by a soldier; the enemy is attacking all six blocks of the city simultaneously. Takasugi didn't think they had the numbers. Furthermore, they have Shinsengumi with them, surprising Takasugi even more. But, well, this is close to their origin -- didn't they come from Tama in Bushuu (Musashi province)? The soldier continues to report; Nagao Kagetora has appeared in the Kasukabe Block. In the Kumagaya Block, Oda Nobunaga's younger brother is in charge. In Kawagoe is the Yamatai queen. Oh and there's some mystery Heroic Spirit calling itself "Majin-san", and an old man are also tearing down the city's defenses with his bare hands. Lastly, a Heroic Spirit with a shield and a conchshell. Takasugi finds all this hilarious, but then he's angry they'd keep something so amusing hidden from him. Sakamoto reminds him about the magical energy supplies, and Takasugi thinks this might be bad for them. He'll have to use something he didn't really want to bring out.
In the city, Ryouma thinks they can get into Takasugi's HQ at this rate; Takechi is surprised they had such backup hidden, and that they'd catch on to what was happening so fast. Ryouma points to Master being the reason for it. Takechi compares Master to young Ryouma, but Izou doesn't think they look alike. Another tremor, and the energy absorption field in the city manifests again; but with this amount of strength, it might very well kill the inhabitants of the city. Ryouma calls for everyone to press onwards. They need to hurry.
Back with Takasugi. They weren't going to use the citizens to fuel their work, bu
... keep reading on reddit β‘Sakamoto has found the Loyalist Party's headquarters. It'd be safer to report back to the others instead of keeping on investigating. Izou steps in; he can't let Sakamoto do that. Oryo says that this is why he's a shitty ass Assassin. Izou tells her to shut it, he's got business with Sakamoto; which one of them here is the traitor?
The other Sakamoto steps in while Chaldea's Sakamoto ponders on Izou's question. The two Sakamoto accuse each other of assuming Sakamoto's name. Oryo is confused when she tries to discern who the new Sakamoto is; why is he the same as her Ryouma?
Back at the detective office, Okuni's joined the others, and she formally introduces herself. Chacha, recognizing her name, tells Okuni that she's the Taiko's (Hideyoshi's), you know -- she's Yodo-no-Kata. Okuni finds her to be quite young for that to be true. Regardless, it seems they know each other. Okuni was a dancer back in Chacha's time.
Moving on, Okuni goes back to her task of chasing after the great scum, Sakamoto Ryouma. He was the main offender in the Bloody Surrender of Edo Castle, and another leader of the Shouwa Loyalist Party. This is also the first she's heard of there being two Sakamotos. Okuni explains that during the Holy Grail War of Edo, those summoned were Sakamoto Ryouma, Takasugi Shinsaku, Takechi Zuizan, Tanaka Shinbei, and herself. It was a so-called proxy war between the new government and the shogunate, with the leadership of Japan at stake. In the midst of that Grail War, Sakamoto succeeded in calling people to talk things over -- but a Grail War cannot be solved without the involved Servants defeating each other. It was all a ploy by Sakamoto, Takechi, and Takasugi. They sprung a surprise attack on the other Servants, and several important people from both the new government and the shogunate ended up killed. In the end, Takasugi helped Okuni escape, after he betrayed the other two and got the Holy Grail. The Grail War should have come to a close, yet the Singularity continues to exist, and Okuni remains manifest in the world. She's been looking into the Sakamoto from the Grail War since he seems deeply involved with the source of the Singularity. In the Boshin Grail War, he was the first to be summoned, so surely he must hold the key to this mystery.
During Okuni and Takasugi's investigation, they found the box Shinbei had. Ranmaru comes to. She feels like she knows what's in the box. That it's been calling out to her. They need to confirm with Loyali
... keep reading on reddit β‘Arrow 1
The team arrives at Takasugi Industries. While they're praising the tower, a redhaired man appears, agreeing with them. They don't notice him at first. He's Takasugi Shinsaku, the owner of Takasugi Industries.
Takasugi takes them inside the tower. He couldn't wait to meet this magician that Sakamoto spoke of, so he'd rushed outside to welcome them. He and Sakamoto banter for a bit, and Shinsaku calls for some tea and treats while they talk. He formally introduces himself as the CEO of the wicked military conglomerate, Takasugi Industries, but explains that the 'wicked' part is a question of perspective. To some he's a hero, to others he's the very image of evil. Those who find him to be evil are those who lost during the Showa Restoration, along with their ringleader: Takechi Zuizan.
Scene switches; Takechi Zuizan is admonishing Tanaka Shinbei in a room elsewhere. Takechi admits that he might have underestimated the magician, but Shinbei swears he'll bring them down next time. Izou, also in the room, comments that Shinbei doesn't quite live up to his name as Hitokiri Shinbei with how sloppy he is. Shinbei calls him a dog. Izou is not amused. Takechi calls for them to stop, and Evil Sakamoto joins in on the conversation. He makes an offhand comment about the soldiers (the Chibi Nobu), to which Takechi remarks that they are likeminded loyalists. They talk about their opponents, Master and co., being after "that". Izou is confused, but is told not to think too much about it. They'll absolutely bring divine punishment to the traitor Takasugi and raise the flag of the Emperor. Sakamoto heads out. Izou looks rather serious, and the scene ends.
Arrow 2
Scene starts, Master is getting briefed on the state of affairs by Takasugi. The Loyalist Party wish to bring back the dream of the Bakumatsu period, and have become obsessed with their impossible ideals. They stir up trouble around the city and fund their activities by robbing merchants. Recently they've even made counterfeit sweets to sell on the black market. Likewise, those "strange creatures" have gushed forth and become an issue. The "chibi nobu", Chacha explains to him. In the midst of it all, Sakamoto appeared before him; Takasugi thought he was with the Loyalist Party. Sakamoto asks to confirm that Takasugi has seen him, to which Takasugi is confused; is Sakamoto not Sakamoto? It's the first he's heard of a lookalike.
At any rate, the Loyalists want to turn things around to improve t
... keep reading on reddit β‘Arrow 1
The scene fades in at Oumiya, an inn of Kyoto. Toukichi, standing guard outside, greets a visitor who claims to be from Totsukawa and is here to see Sakamoto. Toukichi walks in to inform Sakamoto, but he's cut down before he gets very far.
In Sakamoto's room, Nakaoka Shintarou is surprised to hear Oryo has already returned. Sakamoto tells Toukichi to not make fun of her, and is about to agree she's early when someone bursts into the room. The assailant attacks Sakamoto. Nakaoka tries to find his sword, and Sakamoto calls out to him with an alias.
>Sakamoto: "Ishikawa! Ishikawa, you alright? Ishika--"
His yells are cut short as he suffers another blow. The assailants flee the scene. Nakaoka, still barely alive, checks on Sakamoto. With Nakaoka being the more injured of the two, Sakamoto administers first aid. He calls for Shinsuke, the owner, to fetch a doctor. Sakamoto collapses, and with his dying breath, calls for Oryo.
Later, Oryo returns to find Toukichi on the ground. At first mistaking him for sleeping, she moves onwards to Sakamoto's room, cheerfully talking about the game fowl she brought back to eat. He doesn't respond.
>Oryo: "Hey, wake up, Ryouma, don't sleep. ...Wake up. If you don't wake up, I'll eat you, you know. ...Hey, I'm actually going to eat you! I'm not lying, I'll eat you... I'll eat you... I'll... eat you..."
The scene shifts. We see the night sky. It fades to black.
Keio year 3, 15th of November. Oumiya. Assassination of Sakamoto Ryouma.
Back in Restoration Saitama, we return to the scene from the previous chapter; Shinbei is enveloped in dark energy. Okuni and Ranmaru are taken aback by him cutting down his own ally, Takechi.
>Loyalist Sakamoto: "My my, seems like Tanaka has some sort of grudge towards Takechi. One he didn't even realise, himself -- just a tiny little grudge. No, perhaps that's incorrect. Perhaps it's rather that he didn't want to realise it?"
>
>Shinbei: "W-what?"
>
>Sakamoto: "I know. You got screwed over by Takechi in life, didn't you? Something about being made to take on the false charge of an assassination incident and cutting open your own stomach. Moreover, you were a literal sacrificial pawn for the sake of making the incident look like Satsuma's fault. Truly miserable."
>
>Shinbei: "You-- you're lying! I did this for Takechi's sake--"
>
>Sakamoto: "That's the type of guy he is, that Takechi. He won't care
Arrow 1
Bunkyuu year 2, March. Tosa.
Takechi is asking Sakamoto whether he won't change his decision. Sakamoto says yes, he won't be the leader of the Tosa Loyalist Party - Takechi is more suited for that. Sakamoto seems to be fine with becoming a lordless samurai instead; he wants to go see the world, even if it's a crime. Thinking it's nothing but fanciful thinking, Takechi holds on to his Loyalist ideals, and he and Sakamoto sever their ties.
The next morning, Izou, having just returned from Edo, shows up at the hideout to have a drink with Takechi. Izou wants to go invite Sakamoto, but he's told he's no longer around -- that Sakamoto is now a lordless samurai. Izou is angry Sakamoto didn't tell him anything about it. He's always being left out of complicated talks. Everyone makes a fool of him. Takechi pulls him out of his fit and tells him he's got a favour to ask of him.
Back in Singularity Saitama, Sakamoto tells the team about the two Hitokiri of Edo; one was Izou, the other Tanaka Shinbei. Both of them worked under Takechi Zuizan of the Tosa Loyalist Party. Takechi wished to push the Loyalist ideals into the Tosa domain and lead the Sonnou Joui movement that was present in Kyoto, which involved transferring power from the Shogunate to the Imperial Court, as well as driving out foreigners in the country. For that purpose, Shinbei and Izou murdered people who'd get in the way of Takechi's ideals. Shinbei committed suicide after getting arrested as a suspect in an assassination incident, before it could be investigated properly. After that, the political change in Tosa had the Loyalist Party lose its influence, and both Takechi and Izou were caught by the Tosa government.
At Nagayoshi's prompting, Sakamoto explains that after the battle at Sekigahara, the Chousakabe who ruled over Tosa were replaced by the Yamauchi clan; Yamauchi Kazutoyo was the first lord of the Tosa domain. Those descended from vassals of the Yamauchi became upper class samurai, while those descended from Chousakabe's retainers became country samurai in a strict class system. It got increasingly rough on the country samurai, which is somewhat related to Sakamoto and Takechi's movements during that time.
In any case, this means Shinbei and Izou are their enemies. Sakamoto hesitates about Izou, but Oryo says she'll knock some sense into him for sure. Izou aside, they should be wary of Shinbei; he's not one they can simply talk things out with, and his Jugenryuu is meant t
... keep reading on reddit β‘I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
It was about a weak back.
Why
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
Part 3 - Kiheitai
Section 1:
You arrive at the tower at the center of the city.
Ranmaru X:
> That's Takasugi Heavy Industries...
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> Yeah, everything in this city revolves around this tower.
> It's quite literally the cornerstone of the Restoration City.
Mori Nagayoshi:
> Hoo, this is even bigger than the big boss' castle.
Chacha:
> It certainly seems very expensive, this castle.
[Amazing] / [Is this really the Showa era?]
Another person shows up.
???:
> Right? I can't help but be amazed, myself.
Ranmaru X:
> You can even feel the flow of magical energy from the building.
> ...huh, who are you!?
???:
> Who?
> It's me, that's who!
> ---Takasugi Shinsaku.
The man leads you inside his office in the tower.
Takasugi Shinsaku:
> Hahaha! No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
> I thought I'd come welcome you all as the evil mastermind who runs this Restoration City.
> When I heard that Sakamoto was going to bring a special Magus to see me, I couldn't wait.
> That's why I came to meet you at the door.
[You're from Choshu...] / [You're an evil mastermind?]
Option 1:
> Takasugi Shinsaku:
> > You know me, of course? I'm a bit of a celebrity, after all.
> > It wouldn't be an understatement to call me the most popular guy in Choshu.
Option 2:
> Takasugi Shinsaku:
> > Relax, I'm definitely a mastermind, as you can see.
> > I don't really like sitting around in the president's office, though.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
> You haven't changed one bit, Takasugi.
Takasugi Shinsaku:
> And you still seem just as shady.
> You guys, if you're trying to get chummy with this guy,
> keep your guard up, because he'll rip you all off.
Ranmaru X:
> W-well, you're certainly an interesting one, don't you agree, my Lord?
Chacha:
> By the way, what's with the lack of snacks or tea or general hospitality?
Takasugi Shinsaku:
> Oops, that's my bad.
> Hey, bring us some snacks and tea, would you?
> Restoration manjuu, none of that Kinno manjuu.
Company employee:
> Understood, sir.
Takasugi Shinsaku:
> ---Well then, now that we're comfortable, let's talk.
> I'm sure Sakamoto has told you about me, but I am the one who runs the Restoration C
In the past, Ryoma and Takechi had a conversation in private at night.
Takechi Hanpeita:
>---You've changed your mind, you say?
Sakamoto Ryoma:
>Yes.
Takechi Hanpeita:
>Ryoma, you know that I think of you as the person most suited to lead the Tosa Loyalist Party.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
>Sorry, but I don't agree with that.
>
>You would surely be a better choice, Takechi.
Takechi Hanpeita:
>In that case, what would you do once you leave?
Sakamoto Ryoma:
>I've been thinking of going, and acting, alone.
Takechi Hanpeita:
>You'd become a ronin...!?Ryoma, do you know what that would entail!?
Sakamoto Ryoma:
>Yes, I do. I'd be commiting a grave crime. Getting caught would be the death of me.
>
>But I want to see the rest of the world. It's too big a place to just stay in Tosa.
>
>I want to see the whole of Japan.
>
>And maybe...
>
>Maybe even go across its seas.
Takechi Hanpeita:
>Ryoma...these sound like fantasies. Get with reality.
>
>Don't you see? Tosa is on the cusp of change.
>
>We loyalists, we're about to change Tosa.
>
>We Tosa Samurai, regarded as low as insects by the Daimyo, will replace them. Only true loyalists will remain.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
>The lower-ranking will take the place of the higher...
>
>Hey, Takechi, can I ask you something?
>
>Did you know that far away, in America, anybody can enter the world of politics as they please?
Takechi Hanpeita:
>I don't know what sort of things the people of Edo or Chushu told you, but Tosa can only change by staying loyal to the Emperor.
>
>We will use all our power to assure Tosa is fully loyal, and make this a respectable city that we can present to the Emperor, all by dealing with the barbarians.
>
>That is our utmost goal as true loyalists.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
>I'm sorry, Takechi...
Takechi Hanpeita:
>You weren't the type to every listen to me anyway, that I know...
>
>In that case, Ryoma, as of today we are strangers.
>
>Go wherever you wish, you're out of the Tosa Loyalist Party.
Sakamoto Ryoma:
>I'll be going, then...
Takechi Hanpeita:
>......
Sakamoto Ryoma:
>Oh, and give Izo my regards.
Ryoma takes his exit.
>Takechi Hanpeita:
>
>Ryoma...
>
>You fool of a man...
The next day, around midday.
>
... keep reading on reddit β‘When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
