Tag up Puns

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

• I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

Gluten Tag.

edit : i fucked up the title

A nice game of gluten tag always cheers me up.

At my age, I remember how deflating it was to spend hours and hours coming up with an email address or gamer tag that was both clever and fun, only to find out that 18 others had thought of it first

I'm working on a silly project for my job, and I'm trying to come up with punny fake names for the name tags. I work at a community bank - anything finance and banking product or industry related is good, I am god awful at puns and so far I've only got these:

Ann U. Ities Dee Posit Owen A. Lott

Punmasters and fans, lend me your talents? :)

After picking up my son from his friends I see that he came home with two new stuffed animals. I asked him how it happened and what the names of the new animals where.

"He wanted to trade for two of mine and he has these two whales I wanted."

"Do they have a name ?" I asked." And did anyone get hurt?"

" Nobody got hurt and they each have a tag on them and they just say Stuffing the Whale so I guess that is their name." He says as he makes whale noises from the back of the car.

"That seems like a great time. You got two whale the stuffing from your friend and nobody got hurt."

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?" The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in. "So?" Smartie says. "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go. After a few beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table. The Lockets take one look at jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking cola bottles over his little jelly head, hitting him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood. He turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me?" "I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are fucking menthol".

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, “A pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, “It is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: “A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: “...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, “To trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

My TimeHop brought up a post I made two years ago: "Facebook has a "Tag Friends," but what about a "Nacht Friends"?

I'm buying a few shirts, and he can't find the tag on one. He finally pulls it out of one of the sleeves and hits me with:

I've always got something up my sleeves

He makes eye contact with his mouth agape, chuckling.

My dad and I were looking for perfume or lotion for my sister. A woman comes up to ask us for help and she does help us. When she is checking us out in line, my dad finally says to her "You know, in all my years I've never met a girl with the name Vendor before."

It said vendor on her name tag instead of her name.

I was sitting in his seat talking to my mother/grandparents for a bit when an idea hit me. So after some brief set up, I went searching for dad.

Me: I really like the small touches they added, like the personalised messages on the table placements

Dad: What?

Me: You know, the name tag to show where people are sitting

Dad: Yeah, I know what you're talking about, but there's no message on them.

Me: Yes there is! It's on the inside of them, just have to flip them over to read it

Dad: I'm telling you, there's no message on them!

Me: I absolutely guarantee that there is a personalised message written on your name tag!!

So, determined to prove me wrong we go inside to his table and he flips over his name tag to find, in my handwriting, "told you so".

#1 I was at the outlet mall with my girlfriend and she wanted to check out this shoe store. I follow her in and peruse the store while she looks around. I find these sandals that are on sale, but some only have one shoe. So I pick them up and say, "Hey look, these sandals are.. half off," with the biggest grin. She did one of those one laugh oh my goodness things. #2 A day or two ago I was showing my girlfriend some pictures I took and she said to me, "You know, you've really got an eye." I told her, "I know, I have two." #3 I don't like Twitter and I never have. My gf is the opposite. So she took it upon herself to make me an account and then let me have control. I've posted a few things with my own twist. Instead of using # to tag something I write out "hashtagwhateverIwanttowritehere."