My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Feb 04 2021
Last night I was dreaming I was swing in a ocean of Fanta...
but turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jan 06 2021
Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock Knock "who's there" Not Sally
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Dec 09 2020
How can Jedis swing so lightly with a lightsaber and still cut through everything so easily.
They swing with alot of Force.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Dec 18 2020
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you.
ποΈ 51
π
οΈ Nov 02 2020
I'm holding a 17th Century Party, and all the Enlightenment thinkers can swing by - except one.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Oct 17 2020
A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"
The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Aug 25 2020
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, βWait! Iβm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned and said: βAnd you will dialogue.β
ποΈ 847
π
οΈ Dec 16 2019
Do you all remember being in the back yard and dad pushing you in the tire swing?
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Jun 24 2020
My wife said that her mood swings,
Well mine usually goes down the slide.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Jul 29 2020
No matter how we pitched the human organs to the other team, they'd swing and miss...
They didn't even bat an eye.
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Jul 03 2020
A grandfather clock swings both ways
Thatβs why we βwatch the hours go biβ
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Jun 16 2020
What's brown and swings from the belltower?
The lunch bag of Notre Dame
ποΈ 45
π
οΈ Mar 05 2020
Swing and a hit
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Apr 04 2020
These crazy mood swings
ποΈ 79
π
οΈ Sep 09 2019
Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard?
ποΈ 32
π
οΈ Oct 10 2019
Whatβs white, light and sugary and swings through trees? ...
ποΈ 30
π
οΈ Sep 22 2019
Why does earth always have mood swings?
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Jan 17 2020
How do you feel about swing sets?
I go back and forth on them.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Oct 07 2019
What do you call a train with constant mood swings?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Mar 27 2019
All these Spider-Man meme's are in full swing
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Sep 11 2018
What do you call a cup that falls off a swing?
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Apr 27 2019
Dad: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Kid: why?
Dad: because she had no arms!
Kid: laughs youβre so funny dad
Dad: hereβs another... knock knock!
Kid: whoβs there??
Dad: NOT SALLY!
Kid: ....
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Feb 11 2019
What kind of bats swing upside down?
ποΈ 19
π
οΈ Oct 07 2018
Did you hear Nintendo has a patent for a swing set based console?
They call it the Nintendo Wheeeeeeeeeee!
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Apr 12 2018
Good heavens, this cat is having mood swings and hot flashes.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Jul 29 2018
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Nov 22 2016
Polyamory is great if you can swing it.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Oct 06 2016
With the World Cup in Full Swing
I texted my 13 year old nephew about tonight USA v. Ghana game.
"Do you think we're Ghana win?"
"Are they ghana give us a chance?"
He was not amused.
ποΈ 48
π
οΈ Jun 16 2014
Dadmas is in full swing.
It's tradition to watch A Christmas Story at least like nine times on Christmas in my family. There's a part where Ralphie stares into the camera and smiles after getting away with lying to his mother. Trying to be funny, I said "What the hell's he lookin at!?"
My sister answers with "The camera! It's like in The Office."
Me: "You know, I could never get into The Office."
Dad: "You should find the key, then."
Merry dadmas!
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Dec 25 2014
Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock knock who's there
ποΈ 19
π
οΈ May 08 2020
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, βWait! Iβm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned, βAnd you will dialogue!"
ποΈ 12k
π
οΈ Jun 09 2018
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
because she has no arms.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
ποΈ 36
π
οΈ Jul 26 2019
What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?
The lunch bag of Notre Dame
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Mar 19 2020
Why did Sarah fall of the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Aug 07 2019
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms..
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jan 18 2019
Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard? No?
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Aug 10 2019
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