I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
They’re on standbi
>A long time ago, I once told a man… the man who brought me here, if you’d believe it… that the only thing that could save America was to tear it out by the roots. Wipe the slate clean… Burn it down. And what burns better than Hellfire?
##The Chthonic Cabinet of the United Circles of Hell
Senator Steven Armstrong had a dream. A dream to destroy the corrupt American society and create a world ruled by strength alone. Raiden plunged a sword through his heart and killed him before he could ever realize his mad dream, but his political ambitions didn't end with his mortal death. His immortal soul ended up in Hell, and after finding the circumstances not to his liking, he quickly overthrew the local government and declared that Hell was under new management. President Steven Armstrong has shaped Hell to be more "American", organizing the hierarchy of his cabinet in the style of his home country. He plans to use his cabinet to obtain the fruit of the Qliphoth, something that will grant him the power to invade the world of the living and conquer the mortal realms. Jetstream Sam, who coincidentally also ended up in Hell after his death, isn't going to let that happen.
The Chthonic Cabinet is from Character Scramble season 14, a collaborative crossover fanfiction competition hosted on /r/whowouldwin. Writers get randomly-scrambled teams of fictional characters and write stories about each other's teams battling it out to see who will wind up on top. These were writer /u/Ragnarust's interpretations of his opponents, and some characters intrinsically linked with his main characters.
Some of these characters, such as Dr. Kratos, Lord Ruler, Metal Bat, Broly, and Xemnas, became Devil Arms that were later used by Vergil. See the Vergil RT for details on those Devil Arms.
All citizens of Hell are familiar with the Chthonic Cabinet without actively learning the information, through psychic gestalt, and even the arrival of Michael Wilson makes Jetstream Sam feel patriotic, despite not being American
Any Discord screenshots are WoG from the original writer.
**Abiliti
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It was about a weak back.
You take away their little brooms
>Vergil never had any sympathy for Sisyphus or his story. The man had the wherewithal to confine Thanatos with his own chain. And yet, when his punishment arrived, he was suddenly hopeless. Consigned to climb the same mountain for all eternity. An exercise in futility.
>Sisyphus was a fool. Vergil had always known this. Because for that eternity, Sisyphus had in his hands a blunt object with which he did nothing. He had lost his wits. Did not recognize the power he had.
>Vergil clenched his fist. The steel edge cut into his skin.
>The gods gave Sisyphus a stone.
##Vergil
2000 years ago, The Legendary Dark Knight Sparda single handily defeated the Army of Hell and its ruler. He then created a seal blocking off all of hell from the Human realm. He became a legend, both in Hell and Earth, as the most powerful demon to live. Later, in the 20th century, he sired twin sons with a human woman and then vanished forever. While Sparda died, Hell's grudge against him never did. They attacked his family, and killed the mother of his children. This traumatic event forever changed the twin's lives, setting them off in completely different yet conflicting courses in life. The oldest twin, Vergil, blamed himself for the attack. Believing he was too weak to protect his family, he threw away human-side and pursued more demonic power. He sought to obtain the power of Sparda, his father, and become the most power demon to exist.
This version of Vergil is from Character Scramble season 14, a collaborative crossover fanfiction competition hosted on /r/whowouldwin. Writers get randomly-scrambled teams of fictional characters and write stories about each other's teams battling it out to see who will wind up on top. /u/Ragnarust wrote Vergil, in a story taking place in the various realms of Hell. Senator Armstrong, recently killed, has established a new Underworld government with himself as the President, and aims to conquer the world of the living. Vergil is in Hell for his own reasons: acquiring more power. On his quest, he'll come into conflict with the most powerful demons in Hell, growing stronger and stronger, before facing his ultimate challenge...
Because Ragnarust got the character and is the "primary" version of the character, feats for Vergil under him are separate, while feats for other writers writing Vergil are composited.
Any Discord screenshots are WoG from the original writer.
Scaling:
