20 Hilarious So in to You Puns

My son never does his laundry so one day I got fed up and told him "If you don't start cleaning your clothes I'm going to leave you all my dirty clothes in my will!"

Sorry, just had to heir my dirty laundry

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👤︎ u/refrigeratordiamond

📅︎ Apr 01 2021

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So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."

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👤︎ u/Lovina9

📅︎ Jan 09 2021

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Saw this on r/unexpected, thought it was funny so here we are :) I’ll be sure to add the link to the OG post in the comments incase you wanna see it

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👤︎ u/NicolasTheRageCage

📅︎ Dec 22 2020

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I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.

https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282

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👤︎ u/RedLeader11037

📅︎ Sep 09 2020

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We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...

"...mountains peak!"

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Jan 03 2021

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Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.

This is because of a-coo-sticks.

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👤︎ u/Nebulas-Entity

📅︎ Jul 17 2020

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What do you say when your wife is so envious of your peanut butter obsession she wants to put it on herself in the bedroom?

DON'T BE JELLY!

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👤︎ u/bearnakedgamer

📅︎ Sep 23 2020

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I saw a burglar trying to kick in his own door, so I asked “What the hell are you doing?”

He said, “Like everyone else, I’m working from home.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Apr 15 2020

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So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said “I’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said “What are you going to do now?” ...

“Oh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.

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👤︎ u/cwwspurs

📅︎ Sep 24 2019

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So I was passing by a cemetery with my dad today, and he turns to me and goes, "You know, people living in Denver can't be buried there" and I look at him and ask him "Why?"

He looks at me and says "Because they aren't dead yet".

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👤︎ u/ScumbagCoov

📅︎ Jul 02 2019

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A condom manufacturer kept getting criticized because its new gimmicks never did anything for women. So they did what any good company would do and went to the most knowledgeable frog in the world for advice. You know what the frog said?

“Ribbit.”

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👤︎ u/Smacksmackums

📅︎ Oct 05 2019

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So I decided to make a tinder profile and I thought you guys would appreciate it more than the girls in my area. imgur.com/1dVN6Ax

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👤︎ u/Moooth

📅︎ Jun 18 2015

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I was in my kitchen and my cousin went next to me as I was looking at the brownies, placed a fork and said fork u. + to add on to this as I was trying to take this photo the brightness wasn’t working properly so my dad’s girlfriend goes “guess you could say it’s forked”

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👤︎ u/Weewoman11

📅︎ Apr 09 2019

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Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.

They were called "Knight Lights"

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👤︎ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24

📅︎ Jan 21 2019

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One time a German tourist dove into a river to save someone's dog. When he came back, he said to the owner, "Here iz ze dog, put him in a blänket so he iz dry and warm." The owners ask him, "How do you know, are yoy a vet?" The German looks at them blankly, "Vet? Im fucking soaking!"

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👤︎ u/SpillsMcDribble

📅︎ Mar 25 2019

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Hopalong Happychopper walks into the saloon and the bartender says, "Howdy stranger, ain't seen you in these parts, so you must be here to watch the hanging!" Hopalong looks the bartender menacingly in the eyes and replies, "Nope, but seeing we're talking, who are you hanging?"

The bartender responds, "Well, ain't you heard cowboy, we gonna string up Brown Paper Rattler mighty high, even the angels are gonna hear his neck break!"

Hopalong asks, "Why they call him Brown Paper Rattler?"

The bartender chuckles, "Why, old Rattler wears a brown paper Stetson, a brown paper waistcoat and even right down to brown paper socks."

Puzzled, Hopalong then asks, "So why you hanging him?"

...and the bartender replies, "For rustling."

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Feb 04 2019

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It was my first day on the job at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. My boss gave me the easiest, but most important, job on the assembly line. After a few hours, my boss frantically ran to my station to check in on me. "Why are you so far behind? Why are marbles and thread scattered everywhere?"

"Sorry boss... I just can't keep up! You told me to give each Elmo two test tickles!"

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👤︎ u/PolarBurrito

📅︎ Dec 25 2018

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So have you ever had something just right in front of you and you just wanted to eat it?

on an unrelated note i lost my job as a gynecologist today...

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👤︎ u/_TheGamingBT

📅︎ Nov 27 2017

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If you only have one dock, so you go back in time to build yourself another dock, what do you have?

A paradox.

If you freeze it, then it's paradoxicle

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👤︎ u/witz33

📅︎ May 24 2016

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So Dad, who do you want to win in the Colts vs. Broncos game?

Doesn't matter to me, son. I don't have a horse in the race.

GROAN

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👤︎ u/sloppy_wade

📅︎ Jan 11 2015

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