22 Hilarious So into You Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

So, I’ve been hearing people talk about probiotics and how good they are for you. I don’t buy into it.

I guess you could say that I’m anti-biotic.

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📅︎ Jan 06 2021

I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.

https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282

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👤︎ u/RedLeader11037

📅︎ Sep 09 2020

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Woman: So your brother says you're really into bodybuilding?

Dr. Frankenstein:

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👤︎ u/lfantine

📅︎ Oct 20 2020

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So at 2:01PM, my dad walked into my room and said "It's two o'clock! Do you know what that means?"

I replied "No, What does it mean?"

He said..

"It means it's two o'clock!"

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👤︎ u/Green_Leader_Edd

📅︎ Apr 24 2020

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It is 02/02/2020 so if you're into palindromes...

I guess this is your Super Bowl or something

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👤︎ u/jtrainacomin

📅︎ Feb 02 2020

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Did you hear about the builder who won the lottery? He was so shocked that he fainted and fell into a vat of concrete...

Apparently he's set for life!

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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy

📅︎ Nov 24 2019

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Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?

He was bored to death

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👤︎ u/Of_The_Ocean_

📅︎ Dec 10 2019

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A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “No, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “Of course... Wait, aren’t you that rope?”

And the rope replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”

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👤︎ u/allyyx3

📅︎ Nov 12 2019

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So, what kind of music are you into?

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👤︎ u/acadiel

📅︎ Dec 01 2018

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A pod of porpoises moved into the harbor near my town. So, me and my friends decided to go camping on the beach to check it out. We brought beer for us and some raw fish to feed the pod. Everybody had a great time. You could say it was a party

for all in tents and porpoises.

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👤︎ u/JackFunk

📅︎ Nov 15 2019

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I asked my son, "Hey, what do you call a rubber loop that you put rocks and bread into?" He shrugged and said he had no idea, so I answered…

"A rock and roll band!"

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Sep 22 2019

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A guy walks into a coffee shop, goes the counter and asks, “So what’s the special?” The barista shakes her head, “I can’t tell you, it’s a secret.”

The man frowns. “What do you mean it’s a secret? What’s the special today? Is it a latte?”

The barista shakes her head.

“A mocha?”

She shakes her head again.

“Oh, come on! Tell me! A cappuccino?”

She shakes her head.

“An affogato?”

She shakes her head.

The man is getting frustrated at this point. “Can you at least give me a clue!?”

The barista thinks for a moment, then points at a jar on the counter. “Ok, the special is in this jar.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

The man, enraged at this point, tries to grab the jar.

The barista grabs it too.

They fight for control and the man wretches it away only for the jar to fall on the ground and its contents spill out onto the floor.

The man stares, “It’s just been normal coffee this whole time?!”

The barista shrugs, “I guess you spilled the beans.”

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Oct 12 2019

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So I walked into doctor’s office and said “Doc can you help me out ?“

He said “Sure, which way did you come in?”

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👤︎ u/A98HondaCivic

📅︎ Jun 03 2019

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Did you hear about the guy that robbed the library for every book they had? When questioned on how he did it he told authorities he basically talked the librarian into letting him. So i guess you could say he got a way with words.

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👤︎ u/Ninjahands1

📅︎ Sep 10 2019

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True story: My SO and I got into an minor argument while laying in bed last night. I jokingly exclaimed “omg, I literally cannot stand you!”

To which he replied, “good thing you’re laying down”. Ugh.

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👤︎ u/zestylemonn

📅︎ Mar 17 2019

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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me “can you give me a lift?”

I said “Sure you look great, the worlds your oyster, go for it!”

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👤︎ u/Coleman_James

📅︎ Jun 09 2019

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One time a German tourist dove into a river to save someone's dog. When he came back, he said to the owner, "Here iz ze dog, put him in a blänket so he iz dry and warm." The owners ask him, "How do you know, are yoy a vet?" The German looks at them blankly, "Vet? Im fucking soaking!"

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👤︎ u/SpillsMcDribble

📅︎ Mar 25 2019

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Hopalong Happychopper walks into the saloon and the bartender says, "Howdy stranger, ain't seen you in these parts, so you must be here to watch the hanging!" Hopalong looks the bartender menacingly in the eyes and replies, "Nope, but seeing we're talking, who are you hanging?"

The bartender responds, "Well, ain't you heard cowboy, we gonna string up Brown Paper Rattler mighty high, even the angels are gonna hear his neck break!"

Hopalong asks, "Why they call him Brown Paper Rattler?"

The bartender chuckles, "Why, old Rattler wears a brown paper Stetson, a brown paper waistcoat and even right down to brown paper socks."

Puzzled, Hopalong then asks, "So why you hanging him?"

...and the bartender replies, "For rustling."

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Feb 04 2019

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A son says to his dad, "Hey I'm going to get a soda, you need anything?". The dad says, "Yeah, get me a beer. Actually, make it two cans.". The son goes into the kitchen and is gone for about an hour and a half. The door opens up and he asks his son, "What the hell took so long?".

The son says, "Well it wasn't easy. I had to go to like three different pet stores before I found one that sold toucans.".

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👤︎ u/Merlin_Kush

📅︎ Aug 24 2018

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So a man walks into a diner and says to the waiter “I’ll take a cup of coffee with no creamer.” And then the waiter says “Sorry sir, we’re out of creamer. Can I get you a cup of coffee with no milk?”

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👤︎ u/Lumber__Zach

📅︎ Nov 13 2017

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A Yo-Yo walks into a therapists office. Dr asks, "So, Mr. Duncan, how's life been for you lately?"

"It's had the usual ups and downs,"

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👤︎ u/SirTurkTurkelton

📅︎ May 29 2017

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So I just found out that Pythons actually squeeze your heart into stopping before you suffocate in their wrap.

I guess that's a little disheartening...

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👤︎ u/KeKaRoNi

📅︎ Jun 16 2017

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