Why do the neighborhood signs warn me of the slow children at play?

Do I need to watch out because they are mentally slow? If they were just playing slowly, you would think they would see me coming and no sign would be needed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chmcarro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2015
🚨︎ report
The Seattle Symphony is playing Beethoven's 9th.

In the version they're doing, the bass section plays a bit at the start, then just sits there til the final part of the last movement. So, they decide to leave the concert and go out for drinks.

While at the bar down the street, they meet a European nobleman, and they become good friends. Unfortunately, the guy had been gorging himself on crappy bar food, and he quickly falls into a food coma.

One of the basses drunkenly checks his watch and says, "crap! We're not going to get back on stage in time!" As they're sprinting back, one of them says, "actually, I thought this would happen, so I tied some of the pages of the conductor's score together - that way, he'll have to slow the tempo way down with his right hand while undoes the knots with his left!"

And so they get back just in time to finish the Symphony, and the audience is none the wiser. The conductor, however, was furious.

After all, they'd left him at the bottom of the 9th, with the score tied, while the basses were loaded, and the Count was full.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomImmortal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The pied piper of tomatos...

...was playing his pipe and all the tomatos in town start to roll out of the gardens and followed the young man.

Near the edge of town, however, the tomatos started to slow down.

The young man looked back, stamped his foot and yelled β€œcatch up”!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/raymesalila
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad says this every time we turn down our street.

We pass this sign that says "Slow. Children at play." Every single time he says "Slow children at play, heh. Makes em easier to hit."

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rileyjwat22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Punny beats

So as a bit of a preface, I have a boss named Steve who has the most incredible ability to let puns flow like water. I'm the only one who enjoys them so I felt like I would share them with you guys.

We started talking about advertising for our store since things are slow this time of year.

Me: Why don't we make a band and just play some awesome stuff to get people to come in? BMSteve: Who is going to play the drums and who is going to look good? Coworker: I can't play anything so find someone else to do the drums BMSteve: I would play the drums, but the last time the guys told me to beat it.

Both coworkers left imediately after and 15 minutes early. I loved it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bossman_Steve
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my musician friends

My friends and I are in a band together. At a show recently we were talking to one of the other bands that were playing.

Friend: talking about someone we met that day, "we met this guy earlier, he's Russian..."

Me: "yeah, he should really slow down."

Everyone: groans

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TracyMichaels
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.