You can get addicted to slip'n'slides
So be careful...it's a slippery slope.
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︎ Jul 10 2019
Chemist n Plumber
π︎ 9k
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︎ Mar 28 2021
How many Freudian Slips does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the bulb, and one to hold me, mother hold the ladder.
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︎ May 12 2021
What did the boy say as he accidentally fell down the slide?
π︎ 15
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︎ May 18 2021
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest ΞΌ
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Let me just slide in
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︎ Mar 28 2021
My hand slipped off the handle of the casket while carrying it to the hearse and left a deep bruise on my leg.
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︎ May 17 2021
What is green and slide through the snow?
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︎ May 07 2021
N-ice-
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︎ May 18 2021
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just quietly slide it under the refrigerator.
Soon itβll be water under the fridge.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing
π︎ 41
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︎ Feb 05 2021
Mac n' cheese
π︎ 3
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︎ May 08 2021
If you slip and fall in your driveway...
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︎ Feb 17 2021
One of my friends slipped in the bed of his truck and knocked himself out....
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 05 2021
I asked the librarian where books about oil were located.
She said try the non-friction section.
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︎ May 10 2021
What body part do you spell using the letters P, E, N, I, and S?
π︎ 36
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︎ Mar 19 2021
I am opening a rock'n'roll-themed Opticians.
I'm going to call it Johnny C Goode.
π︎ 16
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Mate: Aye, the cannons be ready, Cap'n!
Captain: *are
Text adaptation of this
I wish this was my joke.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 05 2021
What did the beaver say when it slipped on water?
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Some of my pun-tastic Halloween costumes throughout the years: Reverse Cowgirl, Edgar Allan Ho, and Freudian Slip.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
How do crabs get to school?
They use the side walk!
- came up with this while walking to work today (I work in education)*
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︎ Apr 14 2021
What happened to Guns 'n Roses' tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up for repair?
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 25 2021
What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?
The penguin who pushed him!
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog shit
A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I slipped on the ice today, and when I got up I had a craving for pasta,
Must've been Italian ice.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Did you hear about the ice cream van that crashed?
The driver blamed it on the rocky road
π︎ 312
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︎ Apr 03 2021
Once you start spreading lube on a child's slide, you won't be able to stop.
π︎ 80
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Today I slipped and fell while walking out to the car.
I was pissed. I was mad. I looked everywhere for the cause. But alas, it was my own asphalt.
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 24 2020
When puns slide into your DMs
π︎ 375
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︎ Aug 12 2020
If killing a man is homicide
is killing a friend homiecide
π︎ 241
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Twitter meme s t o l e n from facebook
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Did you hear about the guy who murdered Cap'n, Tony and Sam?
He's this country's most notorious cereal killer
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Why do people in N/A stand in circles and hold hands???
Because they dont do Lines anymore.
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 14 2021
R.N.L.I, robot.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 05 2021
I started a petition to swap the position of "a" and "n" in the alphabet.
No one took me seriously when I said jk lmao
π︎ 110
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Slipped on a pumpkin today
π︎ 18
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Where do you put a slide in 2020?
At a plagueground.
I'd like to take credit- but this one was autocorrect oddly enough..
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Did you hear about the Italian chef that slipped in the kitchen?
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 24 2020
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.
But atleast she has a smoothie
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Everyone keeps telling me there's 26 letters in the alphabet, not 25
π︎ 327
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︎ Feb 14 2021
What kind of slippers does Aquaman wear around the house?
π︎ 21
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︎ Apr 09 2021
The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.
Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 19 2020
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
π︎ 590
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Google slides
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︎ Jul 22 2020
What did the Frenchman say as he went down the slide?
π︎ 52
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︎ May 19 2020
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says
π︎ 674
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︎ Feb 04 2020
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 25 2020
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.
Soon, itβll be water under the fridge.
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 01 2020
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