A list of puns related to "Shadows House"
His château
He said it's when the President comes out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we get 6 more weeks of bullshit.
This is a compilation from the internet, and a few I made or heard myself. Hope you laugh!
^((Elephant Jokes were a thing from the 1960s. You can read about them on Wikipedia.))
^((Each section should be read all at once, in order. Some sections also reference previous sections. ))
Q: Why did the elephant run from the mouse?
A: Because it had a bazooka.
Q: Why did the mouse chase the elephant?
A: To steal the bazooka.
Q: Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
A: So it could hide in a cherry tree.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: Works, doesn't it?
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is hiding in a cherry tree?
A: Tickle the cherries and see if they laugh.
Q: What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
A: A giraffe eating cherries.
Q: How can you tell if there have been elephants in your fridge?
A: There are footprints in the custard.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails yellow?
A: That's not paint, it's custard.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red, blue, green, orange, yellow, and brown?
A: So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Q: How did the mouse break his back?
A: He tried to carry a bag of M&Ms home from the store.
Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.
Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.
Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 1 and 2 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the oak tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the oak tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the oak tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the oak tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: Why is it dangerous to walk in the forest between 3 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants fall out of the oak trees.
Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that crossed the woods at 3:30 in the afternoon.
Q: How can you tell if there’s an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: How can you tell if there's an elephant in your bed?
A: He has a big 'E' on hi
... keep reading on reddit ➡She said that its the day the president walks out of the white house and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of bull shit
when there was a terrible accident. The fire in his forge had gone out of control and set fire to the shop. The blacksmith nearly lost his life. He was bedridden for many months and relied on the help of his children and grandchildren to feed him, bathe him, and take care of all of his needs. Eventually he was able to get back on his feet, though his outlook on life had turned quite grim. He was now able to take care of himself, but he had lost much of his strength and dexterity from the injuries he sustained and he was unable to practice his trade. He fell into a deep depression and he spent most of his days sitting at home in front of the fireplace gazing into the flames, longing for the days when his strong hands could grasp a hammer and strike a hot piece of iron, slowly forging it into a beautiful piece of work.
One evening when the old man was sitting in front of the fire, he heard a knock at the door. It was his granddaughter, whom he hadn't seen in many months. She had overheard her father talking to her mother about how her grandfather was slowly slipping away into depression and hopelessness and she wanted to help. To the old man's surprise, she had brought him a puppy. "I thought that since you're always here all by yourself that you might want someone you keep you company," the granddaughter said. The old man's eyes welled up with tears and the little puppy instantly jumped into his arms and began licking the tears from his face. The old man and his granddaughter spent the next several hours sitting on the floor of his house watching the puppy chase around a rubber ball, bouncing, jumping, panting, and licking. In that short time, the old man had made complete turnaround from being sad, lonely, and hopeless, to smiling from ear to ear, full of joy with his new-found companion. As the hours grew late and the puppy grew tired, the granddaughter said "Well Opa, I'm glad you like your puppy, but it's late and I should be heading home. By the way, what are you going to call him?" "Life," said the old man, "because he has given me a new meaning and joy to mine." The granddaughter kissed her grandfather on the cheek, wished him goodnight, and she left.
Many years passed and all the while, the old man and his little dog were inseparable. Everywhere the old man went, Life was always with him whether it was the post office, the grocery store, and even when the old man went to the barber shop, the little dog would sit patiently until the last hair on
... keep reading on reddit ➡There isn’t another soul on the street.
Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes an ominous bump...bump…bump.
He looks behind him and spots a furtive, shadowy thing coming down the street after him.
Unnerved, he picks up his pace, finally breaking into a panicked run.
He looks behind him again, and the shadow is closer.
Bump…bump…bump.
The glow of a streetlight illuminates the shadow momentarily, and, to the man’s horror, it is a coffin, bumping down the sidewalk.
He quickens his pace, running as fast as he can go, but the coffin only pursues more quickly.
BUMP…BUMP…BUMP!
He reaches his house, fumbles frantically for his keys, and slips in the door just as the coffin reaches his front steps.
He slams the door and leans against it, catching his breath.
Bump…bump…bump.
There is a moment’s silence, and the man wonders if he dares to breathe.
Suddenly…. Bump…bump…bump…Bump…
BUMP! BUMP!
BUMPBUMPBUMPCRAAAAASH!!!!
He rebounds away as the door breaks off its hinges.
Scrambling to his feet, he charges up the stairs, and the coffin races after.
BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP!
Terrified, he backs into a corner and starts throwing everything within reach at the coffin — a handful of papers, a vase, a box of crackers, a lamp — but the coffin keeps coming!
BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP INCHESFROMHISFACE, and nothing seems to slow it down!
His hands fall upon a bottle of cough syrup, and he throws that at the coffin, too!
The coffin stops.
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