because his name is Jimmy Pell.
It would be a shame if someone added an e to it.
I don't trust trees. Sometimes they're Shady.
I also don't trust stairs. They're always Up to something.
urine trouble!
Partial Mathers
She goes by heminem.
Sketchers.
I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day.
"Goodness, Gracious, 8-balls and Tires!"
I should be upset but Iβm just delighted
Damned imi-taters
...They look kinda shady
Apparently someone βstoleβ my battery overnight; so she gave my phone back to me, free of charge.
..cause he only got one shot!
A snickerdoodle
Slim to Nun.
Thereisnospacebar
A Boring 747
A Mosque-erade
He was delighted.
Now he's swim shady
You might say the front fell off.
Let's just say that it's as shady as heck.
She asked βwho is it?β
The door knocker said βItβs the blind manβ
Relieved, the nun said come in and when he entered he asked the naked nun βwhere would you like me to install these blinds?β
An assassin
You could say I was in a blind
He was a shady looking fellow
All sales are vinyl.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit theyβre bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. βIβd like some wings and a pint of beer, please,β it says. βSorry, but I canβt serve you,β the bartender replies. βYouβre out of your head.β
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. βWe donβt serve your kind here,β the bartender says. βWhy not?β one yogurt asks. βWeβre cultured.β
A friend of mine didnβt pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heβs an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and thereβs a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, βWhat are you staring at? Havenβt you ever seen a horse tending bar before?β The guy says, βItβs not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.β
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, βWhatβs with the paper towel?β The pirate says, βArrr! Iβve got a Bounty on me head!β
A turtle is crossing the road when heβs mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, βI donβt know. It all happened so fast.β
Armed robbersβsome say theyβre a drain on society, but youβve got to give it to them.
Barbersβ¦you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Donβt forget the pickle. Itβs kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereβs Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisβ¦ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit β‘They always lumber about.
It's a shady operation.
They seem kinda shady
They are always up to something
They're just too shady.
*cries of laughter
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
Because theyβre always up to something.
