I just came second in my city's big bubble blowing competition

I came so close to winning but I blew it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NateTheSimpleOne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Did you hear about the second largest city in Finland?

It's not very nice. It's actually pretty crappy.

Espoo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0ner_Champ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
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I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.

I can also tell when they're standing.

EDIT: from https://jokeriot.com

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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The O.Henry Pun-Off is back β€œON!” - Tongues of puns linger
  • Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
  • Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
  • Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.

[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition

This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.

The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.

The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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The elevator operator at work got me today.

I'm a construction worker in NYC. At my current job site we're working on a new super tall building, the second tallest in the city. Attached to the building is a temporary construction elevator for moving people and materials up to the upper floors.

So I get in the elevator and it's only me and the operator. We chit chat for the ride up and I ask "So what's it like being an elevator operator for this building?"

He replies "Oh you know, it has its ups and downs"

In hindsight I think I walked right into that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mercurydriver
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2015
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Geology Museum

So my dad and are touring a college in Rapid City, South Dakota, and we drove past a Geology Museum. He casually pointed it out as we had not noticed it before. I waited a few seconds, fully expecting a Geology rocks joke, but he was silent. I asked him why he didn't make a joke, as he is notorious for awesome dad jokes, and he looked at me and said, "I was going to but I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place." I just looked at him and gave him a fist bump. This is going to be a great trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/futuretrojan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2013
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Dads and elevators

So I was getting ready to take a trip to Africa and needed some immunizations before leaving. My dad and I get to the city health center, a two story building, and ask the security person how to get to the office we're looking for. We chat about the trip and all that, and she points us to the elevator. We get on, and she calls out "have a great trip!" As the doors are closing my dad says back

"What? We're just going to the second floor!" Thanks dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sillytoad
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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