Screen name Puns

Too bad.. spelled that guy's name wrong. Must've been outta vowels

Speaker: “I'm glad you could all make it”

Whole crowd: in unison “Hi glad you could all make it, We're dad”

Speaker: Puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name is "glad you could all make it"

entire conference loses their shit

All the names scrolling on the screen were people involved in the movie.

Q: What do you do if a piece of purple fruit gets stuck in the drain and clogs it?

A: Call the plumber.

Q: What do you do if you live in a purple house and the lights go out?

A: Go to the fuchsia box.

Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?

A: Make them do limeout.

Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?

A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.

(I've posted these on various places on the web outside of Reddit over the years under various screen names.)

So I was talking to my friend on Skype, and my dad walks up,

"Hey, (friend's name), be careful. Teddifus has a cold and I think he coughed on the screen. You might get a computer virus."

Gold.

My phone displays a line of text at the top, even when the screen is off. Rather than have it show something boring like my name, I thought a pun would be cool.

Needs to be short. Otherwise, let's get some punny puns r/puns! (sorry)

While watching golf, some golfer named Chris Wood came on the screen.

Dad: "Hey, any of you guys know his brother, Stiff?"

Watching the Macy's Day Parade. Some band with Dancers come on the screen.

Me- Wow, these dancers are very out of sync with each other.

Dad- That's why they are not named NSYNC.

...

Speaker: I'm glad you could all make it

Whole crowd: in unison hi glad you could all make it We're dad

Speaker: Puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name is "glad you could all make it"

entire conference loses their shit