The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."

The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:

"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmartass1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My best friend quit sailing recently

Not long after, he took up drowning

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do sopranos go sailing?

The high C’s

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Burger_k1ng
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: β€œIsn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:

β€œIt’s junk”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...

I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to take my dog sailing, but he wouldn't go.

As it turns out, my dog has his own barque.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My ship was sailing North but then it suddenly veered West and hit another ship...

It was an occident, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the opera singer go sailing?

They wanted to hit the high Cs.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather used to wake up very early every morning to go sailing.

When I asked him why so early, he replied with "the schooner, the better!"

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/armlesshobo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?

The mast, because it has the pole-position.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyK1w1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
need a punny name for a sailing ship, winter/ice related
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MissingFrames
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
You can say plain sailing, but you can't say boat flying.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDRShamx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
If I could describe my time sailing...

It would be swell

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jbneumann13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I got arrested while sailing the other day because I dropped anchor on a fish.

I told the police it was an accident, but they said it was on porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
When is the best time to go sailing?

Windsday

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cavemanku
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm sailing on the Mediterranean right now and I see storm clouds to the south.

I guess the rain's down in Africa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ridley_Himself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got lost sailing from Marin County to Catalina Island?

He left his chart in San Francisco.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eroe777
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I was talking to a friend about sailing

And he said today is going to be 15 knots, I replied β€œthat’s probably enough to tie a boat down”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/de_dFang
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Sailing, in a nutshell

http://tomb666666.tumblr.com/image/153908879669

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the the fifth captain drop out of the sailing race?

He had a sense of four boating.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crotchfirefly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2011
🚨︎ report
I'd tell you my sailing joke...

...but it's a bit long-winded.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pardonmyfranton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Happy Father's Day! On which lake will dad and I go out sailing?

Whatever floats his boat.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tree_Gordon_Fiddy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Harvard Sailing Team - Intervention: Unfunny Dad youtube.com/watch?v=y10Dh…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Why did the opera singer go sailing?

They wanted to hit the high Cs.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krystx57
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.