What do you call an astronomer on the run from the law?
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︎ Jun 10 2023
Iβve just invented an electronic device that fits on a dogβs neck to prevent aggression. Instead of attacking people and other dogs, they turn tail and run away.
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︎ Jun 05 2023
A maniac on a bike was laughing as he attempted to run over everyone he passed on the trails today.
He was a complete cyclepath.
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︎ May 23 2023
What made the run-on sentence so nervous?
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︎ May 26 2023
I run a small epoxy tumbler business and one of the creations I made was a 3D boba tumbler. I am however stuck on what decal to put on this thing. I love the way it turned out, but all of the boba and matcha puns Iβve found are super lame. Help me out?!
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︎ Mar 24 2023
Why did the run-on sentences break up?
They had nothing in comma.
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︎ Mar 20 2023
I invented a car that will run forever on nothing but happy cats!
Itβs a purr petrol machine!
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︎ Jan 05 2023
I built a car that can run on herbsβ¦
β¦I am a βthyme travelerβ.
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︎ Jul 15 2022
The wheel on my bike detached on my way to work and I had to run after it
Needless to say I arrived very tired
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︎ Sep 18 2022
I love the song fox on the run
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︎ Jul 18 2022
We are having a penis painting themed birthday party for a friend. I have run dry on puns in this category. Looking for a good pun to name the group. Thank you in advance
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︎ Jan 24 2022
Did you hear about the psychic little person on the run from the law?
They say itβs a small medium at large.
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︎ Sep 09 2022
BREAKING : After committing theft and arson, a psychic gnome is on the run from authorities!
In other words, there is a small medium at large!
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︎ Sep 25 2021
Laptops on the ISS can only run Linux and Apple softwares
It's dangerous to open windows in space
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︎ Dec 15 2021
An engineer in New York City has made a car that can run on oregano oilβ¦
β¦now they just need to make a train that can run on thyme!
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︎ Mar 24 2022
I was thinking today that a shark can definitely swim faster than me, but I could definitely run faster on land.
So if we were competing in a triathlon, it would probably come down to the cycling.
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︎ Apr 20 2022
A drunk was walking on the sidewalk minding his own business when he sees a thief run by him and then turns the corner. Shortly after a cop walk by and asks the man βdid you happen to see the thief that turned the cornerβ to which the drunk repliesβ¦
βIdk man when I got here the corner was already turnedβ
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︎ Jul 19 2022
My 'WhatsApp' keeps crashing on my phone and won't run properly.
So, I've downloaded something called the 'Bugs Bunny' to fix it.
Its a 'WhatsApp Doc'
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︎ Apr 11 2022
Just in! Mars Rover detects new, feline-like alien presence on Red Planet... and proceeds to run it over...
...but what would you expect? Curiosity killed the cat.
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︎ Apr 06 2022
Why did the moron run coal on his feet?
He wanted to see what his carbon footprint looked like
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︎ Apr 26 2022
Why can't Jesus run on water?
Because the floor is wet.
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︎ Jan 16 2022
What do you call a Scottish dwarf clairvoyant on the run from prison?
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︎ Jan 22 2022
This morning on the school run my kid came out with this gem: βwhatβre the guards at Samsung called? β¦ GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXYβ
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︎ Mar 23 2022
What do you call a midget fortune teller on the run from the cops�
A small Medium at largeβ¦
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︎ Dec 22 2021
I only took a musician on an explosives run once
When I asked them for C4, they got out their harmonica
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︎ Mar 06 2022
Recently, I saw a homeless man with only his pants on run away from a bear.
Poor guy was scared shirtless.
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︎ Feb 07 2022
Did you hear about the midget psychic that is on the run after robbing a bank?
Police say she is a small medium at large.
...Reposted after a horrible misspell, fat fingers and no proof reading make for a terrible post. Apologies
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︎ Jan 03 2022
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
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︎ Dec 09 2020
What do blind trains run on?
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︎ Nov 09 2021
Did you hear about the thief on the run for stealing laundry detergent?
β¦heβs wanted for his ill-begotten Gain
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︎ May 28 2021
I run a company that makes and repairs stage costumes for pop musicians on short notice.
Itβs called Tailor Swift.
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︎ Aug 22 2021
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage
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︎ May 24 2021
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that heβs cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. Sheβs puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
What time do ships run on?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 20 2021
My son asked me to run a genealogy test on his frog.
Turns out the frog is part Irish, Italian, and a tad Pole.
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︎ Jul 01 2021
A baseball player was shopping at the dairy while in a bad mood. He'd played in a home run derby yesterday; though he got more runs than anyone else, another player was awarded the trophy. While in line at the register, the lady in front of him was short on cash. He decided to do a good deed, so...
The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!
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︎ May 29 2021
Step by step guide on how to run..
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︎ May 12 2020
Two psychics run into each other on the street.
One says to the other βyouβre doing fine but how am I?β
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︎ May 24 2020
My grandpa used to have a job keeping score at baseball games. Every time someone scored a run, he'd whack up a mark on a chalkboard.
Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
A dwarf psychic is on the run from police.
There is a small medium at large
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︎ Jan 26 2022
My 'WhatsApp' keeps crashing on my phone and won't run properly....
So, I've downloaded something called 'The Bugs Bunny' to fix it.............
It's a 'WhatsApp Doc.'
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︎ Jan 23 2022
What do you call a little person psychic on the run from the cops?
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 10 2020
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