I told the cop, “You can’t write me a ticket. I have a marathon to run tomorrow.”
The cop said, “Sir, that’s not how you play the race card.”
My buddy's foot was run over. He couldn't afford a prosthetic, so I gave him a bag of chips.
He appreciated the Fritos
I used to run a dating service for chickens.
But I was struggling to make hens meet.
Why can't you run through a campsite?
Because you ran through it, it's past tents!
Mother and Son: "We're just going to run to the store quickly."
Father: "Driving would be easier..."
I was thinking today that a shark can definitely swim faster than me, but I could definitely run faster on land.
So if we were competing in a triathlon, it would probably come down to the cycling.
Why can’t you run through camp sites?
You have to ran because it’s past tents.
Did you guys hear about the awful restaurant run by a former ruler of Russia?
Usually people would rather run over a rabbit than a deer,
but it gets you more bang for the buck.
How far can you run into the woods?
Half way - after that, you're running out
An engineer in New York City has made a car that can run on oregano oil…
…now they just need to make a train that can run on thyme!
Why did the moron run coal on his feet?
He wanted to see what his carbon footprint looked like
I forget why I run
I'm hoping it jogs my memory
My 'WhatsApp' keeps crashing on my phone and won't run properly.
So, I've downloaded something called the 'Bugs Bunny' to fix it.
Its a 'WhatsApp Doc'
How did the novelist try to get out of a hit-and-run charge?
"Your Honor, it was a dark and stormy night.."
Do alcoholics run in your family?
No, they mostly stumble around and break stuff.
Just in! Mars Rover detects new, feline-like alien presence on Red Planet... and proceeds to run it over...
...but what would you expect? Curiosity killed the cat.
What did the melon say to the Apple when he asked her to run away and get married?
Someone left their cat in the dog run
We are having a penis painting themed birthday party for a friend. I have run dry on puns in this category. Looking for a good pun to name the group. Thank you in advance
What do u call a charity run by atheists?
A non-prophet organization.
What do you call it when a nation is run by rich and powerful business owners who are also vegetables?
He will never run out of time like this.
What do you call that telecommunication company run by cows?
A dwarf psychic is on the run from police.
There is a small medium at large
What happens when you run out of pasta?
This morning on the school run my kid came out with this gem: ‘what’re the guards at Samsung called? … GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’
I would rather hug an erupting volcano than run away from it.
'cause I' m a lava, not a hata'!
What should you eat after you run out of Pilau rice?
Laptops on the ISS can only run Linux and Apple softwares
It's dangerous to open windows in space
Antelopes can run really fast, but what do you call the ones that can't?
Cantaloupe. They can only roll.
You know the lines of the globe that run north to south?
The reason they're called latitude lines is because the French had l'attitude about where the Prime Meridian was going to be.
I only took a musician on an explosives run once
When I asked them for C4, they got out their harmonica
What do you say when you want someone to run fast?
Why did the chicken run across the street?
I don’t know, but he was eggs-hausted after he did.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls
I wanted to make a weekend run out of town with my basketball-player friend.
But he wasn't allowed to travel.
What kind of fruit can't just run off and get married?
Batman and Robin have been run over by a steamroller. What are their names now?
Guess my reaction when the doc told me my body’s run out of Magnesium?
Why did the bull run away?
Why can’t you run in a campground?
You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
What do you call a melon that is unable to run away and get married?
How far can a dog run into the woods?
Halfway. After that, it's running out of them.
You can never run through a campsite.
You can only ran as it's past tents.
You can never run in a campground, you can only ever ran
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark…
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
You can’t run through a campground~
You have to ‘ran’ because it’s past tents
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