He said it was the most violent golf course he ever attended.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.
...she was a keeper.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
The other 3% is when I do math
shoulder this bird, hun.
I think aisle tell it later
I was inconsolable.
Not on my watch.
Why worry about the other half?
Either 3:00 or 9:00
They're clockwise.
"Two Wrights do make an airplane."
"I'm proud of you. You're still grounded though."
...he has a son who thinks he’s wrong...
Dad: "Hey, did you see that blind guys dog?"
Me: "No?"
Dad: "Neither did he!!!"
dad chuckle
We were in a cafe in the little town of Sandwich, Cape Cod while we were on our vacation. I waited for my order and my dad was already drinking his coffee and enjoying his bagel when he looked up and said:
> Dad: I think your order is nearly ready, it smells like sandwich.
>
> Me: Well, the whole town smells like sandwich.
He actually laughed.
After running diagnostics on a clients computer it comes back with a RAM integrity error.
One coworker says its a lying cheating stick of RAM
another one says It may be lying and cheating... but come November I'm voting for it.
For as long as I can remember, my dad has used a single punch-line every time I do something right or say anything even mildly intelligent.
me doing something right Dad: Has anyone told you you're a fart smeller?snicker I mean smart feller.
