Reptile Youth Puns

Hey guys! I'm trying to put together some fun activities and websites for my youth club members to keep themselves occupied with since we can't meet in person. Do you guys have any suggestions? The age range is from 7-18, so anything that fits an age group of that would be awesome.

Thank you so much!

Is there anyone here who’s ever been to Fataville up north?

I’ve been thinking about my hometown a lot recently, but I’ve been having a hard time finding others on the Internet who’ve heard of the place. My grandkids tell me that you can find anything on the web, but clearly that’s not the case. If you know anyone who’s been to or is from Fataville or you are yourself – please get in touch with me, I would love to reminisce about my hometown a little!

Let me introduce myself. I’m Greg. I’m in my sixties now. I left Fataville when I was twenty-two for an office job that went nowhere, and never went back. I figured it might be good for me to tell you fine people some of the stuff that I remember, even if you don’t believe me. At the very least, I hope you all find it interesting. If you’d like to hear more stories I remember from Fataville, please let me know – there’s really so much to tell.

Fataville was a nice place – and I’m not just saying that because I’m old and nostalgic. It had its share of troubles, but the streets were safe there. Our crime was low, our citizens fed. And we had the most wonderful parks. You could wander for hours there, entranced by the green. We let our gardens run wild, feral and flourishing, a merciless riot of color, only being so bold as to tame them when they threatened to overtake the paths that allowed us to look at them safely. They never seemed to mind. Perhaps they liked the attention.

I get ahead of myself.

It was one of these gardens that I was wandering the night I broke one of the laws of Fataville for the first time.

Or, perhaps not the first time – I did my share of running wild in my teens, same as everyone else. But everyone knew that someone who got caught smoking pot or the like would only spend the night in city hall before being released, hapless and embarrassed, back to his parents. It was not one of the real laws. Not one of the ones told to children, not one of the ones that counted. I can hardly remember them all these days, but I remember one clear as day – be home before the sun sets.

I remember when I was young, my parents took me to a movie and lost track of time, so that when we left the theater, it was nearly night, the sky painted in flame. I remember the panicked looks on their faces, the way they hauled me by the arm to our car and broke the speed limits on the drive home, fleeing the night. I did not understand why. You must understand – I was quite young, and this was before the inter

I got my boy Joe from a shelter right at the beginning of Covid… not actually because of the pandemic, my birthday happened to be a week before Texas decided it was a real thing and that we should shut down. I had been single for years at the time and felt it would be a healthy thing to have a pet… mostly to be responsible for the life of another creature. I’d only grown up with dogs, we lived on some land and just always had multiple golden retrievers at all points of my youth. My family loved golden’s, as they should, and were the classic anti-cat dog people. So yeah I just had all the stereotypes ingrained in me.

Fast forward to my 30th birthday, I wanted a companion but lived in a small apartment 20 stories up and didn’t think a dog was a good choice. I thought a cat would at least be better than a reptile or hamster or something, but didn’t expect much in terms of a relationship. Went to the local shelter and fell in love with a young black cat mostly cause they said he’d been there forever and had 2 previous owners that both returned him… and that made me sad. Brought him home, opened the carrier and he sprinted into the closet and hid behind some junk for like 6 hrs. Accepted that cats are funny and timid and it would take some time. That night I got in bed, turned the light off, and fairly quickly heard him scampering across the apartment to the bed. He jumped right up, rubbed his face against mine and curled up in my arms… and we’ve slept that way ever since. I was dumbfounded that night, it felt like everything I knew about life just turned out to be wrong (I had taken a small dose of edibles, so I remember it hitting me especially hard).

First 8-ish weeks of Covid my profession got shut down in Texas, so all of the sudden I’m home with nothing to do but Joe just constantly keeping me entertained and loved on, it was awesome. He also would try to talk and communicate with me all the time, which I had no idea was a thing, him just casually yowling back to anything I said to him. Needless to say it’s just gotten better and better ever since.

Fast forward to this morning, I’m flying to a friend’s wedding but woke up way too early and so decide to make coffee and sit on the couch with Joe. He spends easily 45 minutes just laying with his head tucked into the side of my neck, purring like a chainsaw and rubbing his face against mine the whole time, and we’re just chilling and enjoying the morning. My eyes even started sweating a little when it h

Hello, everyone! This is one of the weirdest sites: or your money back! We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. E-mail us for questions, comments, complaints and information. Why not click on the Very Weird Stuff link to see more, or click on the music link? We have halloween and christmas pictures on the NeoPics link. Cheese is not a wild thing!!!!!!!!! Now I have decided to go for a world record. I will try to make the longest web page ever, made completely out of text! Won't that be fun? I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste. Wow...I really must be bored. Just goes to show what boredom can do to you. Any way, that's it for now. Wait, no it isn't, I still have to keep going, and going, and going. Because I do. THE REST OF THE STUFF I TYPE WILL BE COMPLETLY IN CAPS JUST BECAUSE I CAN. THAT IS ALL. SEEYA! Hi, I'm back. So far this is nowhere near the world record. I think. I don't exactly know where it is...oh, well. I'll just have to do the very best that I can. No one is really coming here, anyway. So it doesn't matter. By the way, TAB is a worthwhile, community-service organization. The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. I have very low expectations of my site. None ever comes here, I could do this all day long and I still wouldn't have any more hits. This is just a pointless excursive in spelling errors and grammatical imprecision. May your day be shiney! The following is an extremely weird poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a relatively weird mood:
never mind that noise my dear can anyone pass the cheese only if you say pretty please oh, boy do I have to sneeze. why must everyone always rhyme, why I’m a poet and don’t I know it? what I fear comes right after here not this life or the next will I ever be able to pass the test? we’re stuck in here, (alone my dear) and we’ll problem never get out so don’t start to shout. it’s dark and I want to go home is where the heart was where is it now? we’ll never know but oh crap it’s starting to snow and it’s time to show and tell about the well that you found last summer at camp when it was damp it was near the ramp oh god why must this be I liked that tree but now it’s gone, farewell so long I’ll miss you as long as you write but then I’m afraid to say good-night. my dear there’s nothing to fear that’s only a box that’s made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a drago

It has been argued that Batman has the greatest rogues gallery in not just comics, but possibly in all of fiction. And yeah, it's not hard to see why many people agree with the sentiment. I mean guys like Joker, Penguin, Catwoman and Bane are some of the most iconic villains in history and that's just naming a few of them.

For me personally however my favorite in Batman's cast of villains is Killer Croc AKA Waylon Jones. I know that might be kind of a rare take, but I find that Croc is a very engaging and interesting character when stories portray him correctly. Which is the the subject of my rant. So many writers in and out of the comics fail at telling good Croc yarns because they don't understand the character which leads to poor representation for Waylon. And I think the reason behind this falls under 3 major factors

First: for too many unknowing readers and lazy writers Killer Croc at the surface level appears to be essentially DC"s version of Marvel's the Lizard, which he is not. People forget that Croc isn't supposed to be a literal giant crocodile man but a guy suffering from a severe skin condition that makes him look like one( I know that sounds pretty silly but it's comics, so we just gotta go with it). In spite of this Waylon is often depicted as having more than scaly skin and is often given a pronounced snout and tail. Which makes no sense, why would a skin condition give a human the literal physical characteristics of a Crocodile? Why did hush virus start turn him Bestial if the idea is that he is not actually part reptile??

And I know what some of you're thinking "But OP, don't modern stories propose the idea that Waylon's mutation isn't simply a skin disease but a form of extreme atavism?" And while yes this is true this idea has 2 major flaws(3 but ill explain that in the next section). The first being that when Croc is depicted with his human features deemphasized it tends to downplay his humanity, which is a core part of his character. Making him seem more like a crocodile makes him less expressive and writers tend to go for the "he's starting to regress mentally" thing which is really fucking boring. Because again, these 2 things don't help the stigma that he is just a carbon copy of The Lizard.

The second major flaw is that writers use the atavism thing as an excuse to give him weird powers like having a healing factor and the ability to regrow lost limbs. This makes me irrationally upset because Crocodiles **CAN NOT

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat