Did you know chess has a randomizer?
The results are across the board.
(I'll check myself out, mate)
Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
Did you hear about that vegan who was condemning some random guy for drinking milk?
I got pulled over for a random drug test today.
The test was negative.
My dealer sure has a lot of explaining to do.
Found a random piece of a jigsaw in my car today and I’ve no idea where it came from.
It's a bit of a puzzle...
kid must have hated the alphabet
Did you hear about the family who died of random head injuries?
I grew up just a stones throw away from where they lived.
Crazy.
The other day an FBI agent randomly assaulted me with nasal spray.
Some random stranger just waived at me, then apologized and said they thought I was someone else
I just had a random thought
If I ever have a daughter i’m going to name her Kyra. Kyra Practor.
Accordion to a recent study...
...people generally don't notice when musical instruments are randomly inserted into sentences.
I was going to start watching The Last of Us…
But I’ve never seen The First of Us and I’m worried I’d be lost.
What do you call a fish with a bow tie?
what do you call the random items an Italian dictator has?
I found an insect that didn't know anything...
My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead
I had a random thought so I told it to a lumber jack
He turned around and told me "who axed"
My friend got a random nosebleed and commented how wierd it is that blood tastes metalic.
I said "yeah its pretty ironic"
After hanging up the random phone call my wife asked me who it was. “Oh just some foreigner.” She asked how could I so quickly assume they were a foreigner.
I told her when I picked up they said “I want to know what love is…and I want you to show me.”
How do you generate a random string?
Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.
I got a job with Random House
but the house keeps changing!
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t become angry and resort to violins if you didn't notice.
My local spice farmer does viral advertising by posting his phone number on bathroom walls and so forth
It says, "For a good thyme call 867-5300"
Boss: "We are going to be doing random drug testing today."
Me: "OK....But I won't try Crack."
This guy told his therapist . . .
This guy told his therapist that he was terrified of random letters.
“You are?” asked the therapist.
And the guy started screaming.
The therapist looked puzzled by this, then he understood.
“Oh, I see,” said the therapist.
And the screaming intensified.
My wife made a covid mask that is covered with random music symbols
I have to say, it's noteworthy
Email from Target: "You've been randomly selected for a chance to win!"
My Dad: "No, I've been Targeted."
What is so great about seaweed?
Every time I try to take food from the plate of some random stranger in a restaurant they wag their finger at me and tell me, "I should immediately see kelp!".
i just used a public toilet, and on a scale of 1 to 10
How do bears just randomly show up to places?
My daughter thinks I don't give her enough privacy.
At least that's what it said in her diary.
That Basketball player who always go to middle east
A random star was told a crazy fact by another star, and he replied “Are you serious?!”
The other star said “Yes, I’m Sirius, nice to meet you!
Been studying Networking this semester and my burnt brain spat this gem out...
How is a private network like a couple of seals?
They communicate in ARPs
Patient: "I'm scared of random letters."
Doctor: "Are you?"
Patient: *screams
Doctor: "Oh, I see."
Patient: *screams again
While cooking breakfast this morning, my dad randomly said this: “I like my women like I like my pancakes…”
I went to the theatre today, the stage was covered in random phrases...
I guess it was a 'play on words'
While talking about Tommy Hilfiger and the prices of Tommy Hilfiger. I randomly did this
I told my girlfriend, “There are approximately 8000 people currently living who is like you”, and she got really upset.
I should have just said, “You’re one in a million.”
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