The bottle of bleach I bought said "Keep away from children" on its label

Great advice, they're so annoying!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flopsychops
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2022
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How do you leave someone in suspense?

Not like this (your welcome).

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Way2Good112
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2022
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Why couldn’t the logger finish the crossword?

He was stumped!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevindavis338
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2022
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A penguin is interviewing a hawk who made it big time as a helicopter pilot...

The penguin asks, "Can you tell us how you got your start?"

"Well," explains the hawk, "I used to work for an aerial photography outfit, Hawk Air."

"And that's how you got into piloting?"

"No, then I got a degree in philosophy."

"Philosophy!" exclaims the penguin. "How do you get from philosophy to piloting?"

"It's quite simple, really," nods the hawk sagely. "My professor told me what to do with my life. Post Hawk Air, go Copter Hawk."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Genarment
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2022
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My doctor told me my iron is low.

He said my clothes are really wrinkled.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1401rivasjakara
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2022
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