Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
For halloween, my daughter dressed up as Mary Poppins, and then asked me if she could just skip the vegan neighbor's house.

When I her asked why, she said it was because their "Stupid Cauliflower Licorice Tastes A Lot Like Dog Shit."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a rare sight disorder from watching Mary Poppins too many times... it called umdiddleyumdiddleyumdiddley eye.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to a Mary Poppins themed restaurant last night.

Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Introduced my 3 year old to Mary Poppins and she loves it. But keeps telling me the joke told by Bert and Uncle Albert.

β€œI know a man with a wooden leg named Smith..”

β€œReally, what’s the name of his other leg?”

She tells both lines and laughs loudly saying β€œthat’s funny Daddy”...

Love it.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Poppin' Fresh is literally a roll model.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jack-o-ninny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call Mary Poppins when she feeds the birds?

...Mary Tuppence.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Mary Poppins sing to a diabetic child?

β€œJust a spoonful of medicine makes the sugar go downβ™ͺ”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
🚨︎ report
My favourite dad joke of all time comes from Mary Poppins!

I Know a man with a wooden leg named Smith..... I hope you all have a good laugh at it.

http://youtu.be/AexVBs09bjA?t=46s

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NickNickNick89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you feed the birds?

Fat birds.

(Took this from Mary Poppins)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HowMeowBlackCat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 253
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to become a chiropractor...

And name my practice "This Joint's Poppin"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shoshilyawkward
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Gandhi never wore shoes? And due to his fasting he was very weak and had awful breath?

He was a super-fragile-calloused-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uchi_mata18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My son and I were fishing and He said to me, β€œi used to know a guy with a wooden leg named Smith”.

I replied, β€œfunny, what was the name of his other leg”.

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpelBananas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the coolest thing about pop corn?

That stuffs poppin’

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CheesiePie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Is your name Mary?

Cuz you so poppin!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MsRachelBachell
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad's punny..

I was telling my dad about one of my high school friends. Her family was very strict, and very catholic. One of the few movies she was allowed to watch was Mary Poppins. My dad comes back with, "So her family was Super-Catholic-fragilisticexpealidocious?"

Then my stepmom and I stared in silence. He silently laughed to himself.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C_Eberhard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Cross-cultural Dad joked my co-workers...

My coworker got back from the Essence Festival in New Orleans today and was sharing about it in a group of 4 black people and myself (pretty white). Her: Bourbon st. is so overrated, we just went back to the apartment at 1:30 when some fools started shooting. Me: What? Why'd you leave just when the party started poppin'!?

Groans and laughs were had by all...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatypusJake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked at IHOP.

Eating at IHOP with my lady, and like the mature adults we are, we're playing tabletop football with our sugar packets. The waitress, who happens to have a Poppins-esque English accent, comes by to let us know our food will be up shortly, then says, "If you get really good, one day you might be in the sugar bowl." I have been satisfied for the rest of the day.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A-town
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
🚨︎ report
Just been to the new Mary Poppins themed restaurant

Super Cauliflower Cheese The Lobster Was Atrocious

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SamuraiSAM5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.