PlayStation Move Puns

I think it’s time to move in a new direction.

He works in the crust station.

Edit: thanks so much for the awards and upvotes! You're all shrimply the best.

And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar... badly.

I prefer playing with Excel

Busting a move

Credit goes to my dad for that one.

Because of his great presents !

(Shout out to my local radio station for sharing that joke this morning.)

If everyone dressed up as ghosts, it'd be boo-jitsu!

If they served coffee, it'd be brew-jitsu!

If they wrestled cows, it'd be moo-jitsu!

If everyone celebrated each move, it'd be WOO!-jitsu!

If they only used chokeholds, it'd be blue-jitsu!

If they grappled inside old industrial chimneys, it'd be flue-jitsu!

If they wrestled pigeons, it'd be coo-jitsu!

If you ate too much Taco Bell before your match, it'd be poo-jitsu!

And then no one would want to pair up with you, so it'd be just you-jitsu!

I've been torturing my kid with these all night. :D

I said ‘to be honest, I didn’t even know he could play cricket’

At the Converse station!

He’s a big gamer so he asked for a sleigh station.

The BP station.

You can't tuna fish.

Edit: because most of yall dad humor is broken i am gonna burn it for you.

The joke here is the word "tuna" which is a play on words for "tune a"

Ones a crusty bus station, The others a busty crustacean!

My 10y/o walks into the frame, leans down to the garlic now sitting on the cook top and says “Yo mama is so fat she plays pool with the planets!” Then looks dead ass at the phone and says “Hey Dad, I just roasted the garlic too!” I’m so proud.

Did he just bust a move?

He’s currently playing a computer game when I heard hammering or chopping. I looked onscreen to see his character hitting a wall or fence. I asked if he was building a fence, to which he replied “I’m fortifying this structure for protection.” So I said, “ah, so you’re building de-fense.”

But I told him Toucan play that game!

Too many moving pieces.

He has to play by ear

Why do snails move the second they see something gross? Because it makes their skin crawl

On another note, I suck at playing darts.

By moving around the furniture

Bit of dark joke, added the NSFW just in case

When the police took them both down to the station, they charged the man with assault and his car with a battery.

I know this topic has been done to death in here and I apologise to the mods for bringing it up again but recent "jokes" have made me question what the point of this sub is.

I'd like to not have a discussion about "should we let NSFW jokes here or not" instead I think it should be important to understand what everyone thinks their defenition of a dadjoke actually is.

Before I say my definition I want to make it clear that I whole heartedly enjoy good NSFW jokes and I'm a regular visitor to r/unclejokes.

My defenition: a good dadjoke is something that is usually based around a bad pun or clever word play that makes people around you groan or roll their eyes, similar to the types of jokes you find in Christmas crackers, they are so bad that they are good. The language involved can sometimes be a bit NSFW depending on the subject material but on the whole if you change things about a bit your can make it suitable for most ages. It is the type of joke where when you tell it everyone's first reaction is to complain how bad it is before then secretly uttering a chuckle themselves.

I want to know what everyone else's definition of a dadjoke is so that we can see what everyone thinks. The old "it's a dadjoke because I'm a dad and I'm telling a joke" I just don't think is an accurate enough description so trying to get a better one.

Thank you.

By moving.

My girlfriend and I are in an argument. I’m playing video games and ignoring her. I hear a knock on the door but wasn’t expecting anyone. Sounds like a food delivery transaction.

She calls my name, I don’t respond.

She texts “would you like a f*cking slice of pizza?”

I respond “No, but I appreciate the piece offering”

She just left the house. Am I doing this right?

The police suspected fowl play

Algebros

Solid word play

Any time I play the music loud it keeps my spirits up.

She moved to Beverly Heels.

I suspect fowl play.

His parents used to put him on the window sill where he could watch the other children playing.

Then one day his fairly god mother appeared and grant him 3 wishes.

For his first wish, he wished for a body and pow, it appeared.

Second, he wished for arms and pow, they appeared

So third, he wished for some legs and pow, they appeared.

Thats absolutely fantastic he said and without any hesitation he jumped off his window sill and ran outside to play with all the other children....and bang, he was hit by a truck.

Moral of the story is he should have quite while he was a head!

It's alright, she moves in mysterious wheys.

My friend said he could play the harp but he clearly can't. He's such a lyre

They snuck from their beds in the middle of the night and met in the gloomy darkness in front of the house, shivering in the cold.

The first boy said in a loud whisper, "You guys bring anything?" He slid a gun out of his pocket. The second boy nodded and revealed a knife. The third boy pulled out a flashlight.

"You didn't bring a weapon?" the first boy asked. He shrugged and replied, "Sorry". And as if to prove it, he turned his pockets out to show nothing but stray lint and a pack of cough drops.

They crept in. The door shut behind them. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. The flash light clicked on. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door on the other side, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a dead body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They found a fully set, ornate dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal goblets, pitchers and silverware adorned the table. Spiders crept over ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hel

Wife: How do you buy timber land?

Me: well, you go to Shoe Station and buy the boots.

Well toucan play at that game.

A humanitarian. Credit to my 11 year old who loves playing with language.

I just remember it involved large amounts of energy being applied to move an electric charge. It's a shame I forgot, it had a lot of Potential.

You thought I plagiarized, but I just played your eyes.

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

They notice a sign for the watchtower challenge. They ask the tour guide what it’s about and he says “if you can drop your watch from the top of the old watchtower and catch it before it hits the ground, you win a million in gold to take home.” The Englishman goes first, drops his watch and runs down the steps, but he’s got no chance and his watch is completely broken. Then the Scotsman tries: he throws his watch up as high as he can to get more time, but his watch also smashes on the ground. But then the Irishman goes. He drops his watch and casually strolls down the watchtower steps. He goes straight over the road for a couple of drinks at the pub, and plays a game of pool. He then walks back over the road, waits a few minutes and catches his watch. The tour guide asks, “how did you manage that?” and the Irishman says “it was easy… my watch is an hour slow.”

Wife... sleeping.... is that you? pause... IS THAT YOU ??

Me;
Ummm - No I do not know how to play the gutair.
Zing.

I'm getting married Saturday and I need some ideas for a great situational joke to play on my bride to be.

At my best man's wedding, when he was expected to say "I do", he paused. Then he ran over to the groomsmen, and we huddled up and whispered for a few moments. After a few nods he ran back to the altar and said "I do." It was a great way to break the formality and tension and went off great.

I want something similar. Something pseudo-wholesome( that's why I'm in r/Dadjokes!), that can break the tension and get a few chuckles. But not something uncouth, deviant, sexual, or terribly disruptive. Please help me out!

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

But I soon taught him Toucan play that game!

Well, toucan play at that game.