Why don't people, who constantly step on Plastic toy brick, just

LEGO of the pain?

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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What's the name of a nurse who inserts plastic tubes into people?

Catherine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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So I guess there's this phenomenon where people can't tell the difference between good coffee and water infused with burnt plastic...

It's called the Dunning-Keurig effect.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
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What’s inside a smoked computer?

BBQ’d chips

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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I angered two people today by calling them hipsters...

Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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"Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshleyJack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Friend Dropped a Dad Joke

#1: "My dad is a proctologist, you wouldn't believe what he's had to remove from people's rear ends. For example, did you know that to get a light bulb out, you have to encase it in plastic first so it doesn't shatter?"

#2: "Why would anyone put a light bulb in their ass in the first place?"

#3: "He must have thought it was a bright idea."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZachofFables
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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