HF - is the pelvic floor tension causing tunica /fascia thickening in our male parts?

Hi guys,

How many of you, if stretching your penis out feel a long and tough β€œsteel” cord could running from base to tip? Maybe even two cords?

I have an idea as to how HF could cause this and hoping if others could fault or validate my thoughts.

I’ve researched and found that the bulbo muscle and ischio muscles are the two distinct muscles wrapping the penis in the pelvic floor.

So... I’ve seen in studies of anatomy that the ischio muscles are actually continuous with and thin out into the fascia or tunica along the dorsal side of the penis just under the deep dorsal vein... or part of the neurovascular bundle. Along the entire shaft.

The same applies to the bulbo, it extens and is continuous along the tunica in the groove behind the songiousum and two CC chambers.

It’s no wonder that any chronic tightening of those pelvic muscles would place chronic tension directly on those tunical areas along the penis.

That is to say, along the top of the dick and below ventrally just behind your spongiousum, you might have a thickening, this thickened cord or dorsal thickening is sometimes mistakenly ruled out by many in the community as a the septum which is normal. That’s incorrect as the septum is a vertical part of the tunica separating the two CC chambers. What I am referring to as this steel cord is a horizontal thickening along the top and or below the penis shaft. Running the length.

I’m pretty sure this is where Hard flaccid hits us the most. The tunica, those muscles put tension on the tunica and thus changing its shape, causing thickening and creation of deformations... resembling peyronies and in some ways it is because it’s inflamed right? The tunica begins to toughen and thicken. Hence if we have softer muscles that tunica begins to recover and our dicks slowly return to normal. How many have noticed your dick flatting out along the top of the shaft and it was once more cylindrical?

So my question to all of you, is how many of you who have had HF for a long time notice any sort of tough cord like cable running the length of your shaft? You can most feel it when stretching out the penis and feel the shaft with the other hand... it will be pretty obvious. Am I the only one with this steel cord thinking it’s HF?

Hoping I am right in my thinking that means there is hope I can soften this damn chord and get back my size and elasticity. I can feel the cord extends and runs all the way into my perineum even.

Here is a picture I found of

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πŸ‘€︎ u/italianwopper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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[Article] Women with incorrect pelvic floor statics: a biomechanical answer to the mechanical loading of the vagina-endopelvic fascia complex

Hello guys,

Seeing as libgen is down, I can't get the following article:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20588227

I'd really appreciate it if someone could get it for me.

Thank you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marscosta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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Fucked up my dick because of adderall+fap abuse. Not sure what to do now

I guess this is the right sub to ask this. I've been taking from 90 to 240mg of adderall XR and fapping on it for months without any issues and one time I guess I took way too much and in the end I pissed instead of cum. Like literally pissed, and the dick was mostly flaccid. After that I kept doing huge doses despite getting pelvic floor issues and hard flaccid and it was mostly fine until that shit happened again. I realized that my dick became mostly numb, and I lost a lot of sensitivity, so that's why this might have happened. I also got pains in the lower left abdomen while fapping after that and these pains persist even during the day. They get worse during or after I fap. Or if I sit a lot.

I'm quite sure I messed something up with either my urethra or maybe torn fascia or fucked up some nerves inside. Now I sometimes get urges to pee during fapping even without any adderall. Did ANYONE have these kind of issues or is it just me? I know I have to see a doc but I don't even know what to say there. I can't say how I got these issues and I'm not sure MRI or CT scan would even show it. Did anyone else got similar problems from adderall and fap abuse?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bacccca111
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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What is exactly HF?

I don’t mean what causes HF or how to heal it, I mean what is what makes the penis feel hard? -is it the smooth muscle what is hardened? -is it the tunica? -is it a venous blockage wich don’t let the blood flow out of the penis? -others?…

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
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I think everyone is right. However I think you are missing the why.

I think Ben is right tight muscles/Pelvic floor is accurate and he’s right on the best way to fix them. POS Rocco was right too. I think crazy Greg is right about fascia ( as crazy as it sounds it can affect your jaw, he’s prob right) I think aniexty is 100% spot on as aniexty can tighten muscles and connective tissue. I think Casper could be right for some, as a fistula could make sense as well given my overall theory. PRI even may have a place in it however if you fix it through only that your case is prob minimal. The problem with all these theories is we would have an epidemic if tight muscles, aniexty, pelvic floor, arteries that get easily injured. Hard flaccid would be running wild. So what’s the missing link to all ? Well.. many of us are in good to moderate shape, fairly young, some athletic even and then potentially a sedentary lifestyle or surgery and boom we got fucked. Some gradual , some all at once, some people with mild symptoms think the ones with severe are complaining too much. ( clearly they don’t get how severe the others have it) The missing link to me is a genetic disorder. Genetic disorders can hit anywhere on your body and often in areas of over use ( masterbation , sex) I believe many of us have a connective tissue disorder. Connective tissue disorders can tighten muscles due to other areas being too loose giving someone a feeling of stiffness. If you injure or overuse an area and you have a connective tissue disorder it will get an influx of collegen and make you stiff and affect blood vessels arteries and nerves. It can even injure an artery easier with some genetic connective tissue disorders so Casper could be right on that too. That could also happen in or around your penis. Also stress and aniexty tighten fascia/connective tissue so it’s a never ending battle of you develope that as well.( which is why many people got this during a stressful abnormal lockdown)We may not all have the same genetic disorders but that’s really why, normal people who are tight don’t have HF. My connective tissue disorder is Elhers danlos syndrome. Yours may be different or the same. It can be very hard to get genetic testing for these. I was able to get tested due to my son having it. There are different levels to all these genetic disorders which makes sense why some people’s symptoms are so severe and others aren’t. Typically most genetic disorder will impact your life before the age of 40. If you find out the disorder it may help as some diso

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tillicollapse23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2022
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Really encouraged by the response I've gotten from the pelvic floor specialists in my area

I know that the medical science and understanding hasn't really caught up to us at this point, and that every practitioner won't have the solution for every one of us, but after looking for a specialist covered by my insurance in my area (Utah) I've been surprised by the awareness of HF they were demonstrating.

Last week when my symptoms flared up the worst they'd been in a decade, I left a couple of panicked voicemails on clinics' lines, and sent detailed e-mails to others I couldn't reach by phone, convinced I was going to have to call a *lot* of practitioners and have to justify myself as having a real condition that was (a) related to their field and (b) not just an ED or sexual confidence thing, then evaluating them carefully. All told I reached out to five pelvic floor specialists who treat men. Out of that group only one didn't respond. One other hadn't heard the term hard flaccid, but said she had seen and treated men with those symptoms, and asked me for resources going into more detail on the condition.

But what really gets me is that three knew of hard flaccid, mentioned it by name and said that they explicitly treated men who had it. They talked about their treatment philosophy and training including things like a bodywide focus on fascia and the diagnoses they make on initial appointment and in-clinic and at-home treatments that follow from them. They talked about people they'd trained under who were starting to advance the discussion and treatment of HF (including Ramona Horton and the Barram (?) institute who have been pushing for more discourse on male pelvic conditions). They knew the names of the doctors who had contributed to articles on HF and talked about theories on its origins and the success they'd had with patients who had certain levels of symptoms and likely origins of the condition. They really listened and asked pertinent questions which made me feel that HF isn't this fringe thing that only a clinic in England and New York treats or whatever.

It was really nice. Look at these professional articles being put out in reputable journals and they're pretty much all from 2018 and newer. A few years back nobody was talking about this. Now you've got practitioners who are having a dialogue. When I first started experiencing hard flaccid symptoms in 2005, Googled every conceivable symptom I could manage and reached out to every medical forum I could find, there was NOTHING on this topic. It was all Peyronie's and penile trauma. Un

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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***List of top IBS researchers worlwide***

With the help of u/Robert_Larsson suggestions, I've made a list with some of the most relevant researchers of this syndrome in the last 5-10 years (as of December, 2021).

Any suggestions are welcome, but it's better if we stick to researchers which still have either a long career ahead of them, or consolidated teams that will succeed them and continue their work.

Once we have a definite list, it would be a good idea to get in touch with these teams and find out how patients (those who want & are financially stable) can donate money for their research through a secure channel - please remember these guys are the closest in the world to finding out the actual causes of IBS.

Without further ado, this is the list, organized by research topics:

 

 

UNDERSTANDING AND TREATING VISCERAL PAIN

 

Visceral pain is the main feature of IBS, so basically all researchers in this list are investigating it, one way or another. However, some explore it more indirectly (looking at the immune system, microbiota, dietary treatments...) and others not only do that but also focus on the central/enteric nervous system itself, the ultimate source of visceral pain, trying to develop new therapeutic targets and treatment compounds as they go. I created a specific category for them, since their research is difficult to encapsulate in "just" one category, and their work does have an additional focus on the neurological dysfunctions that shape IBS pain.

 

β€’ Stuart Brierley, Flinders University, Australia/ In a groundbreaking study, his team discovered the existence of pruritogenic receptors (receptors usually found in the skin, able to mediate pain/itch sensation) in the human gut back in 2019, and also described how these receptors were "sensitized" in IBS patients. They have made some sound findings in IBS, and are also studying spider venom as a possible source for a synthetic pain relieving drug. Definitely one of the strongest IBS research teams in the world. "Our group investigates the underlying causes of chronic visceral pain, and the development of new treatments. Using state of the art molecular, anatomical and functional approaches allows us to study mechanisms from the single cell through toΒ in vivoΒ and clinical studies".

You can find more information about their current projects here or in their Twitter account [@V

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ipsen90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
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Flaccidosis

From the top. I have a long post so saddle up seabiscuit. I will try to make this as painless as possible. I developed an unexplained issue with my member a few years back where I ,little by little I lost more and more feeling in it. My penis specifically became more and more numb as if circulation was being clamped off from the inside. I do get hard flaccid every once in a while but it normally goes right back to a shriveled up much smaller version of my once glorious hymen buster.Additionally, the size of my phallus went down from its flaccid size from about 3.5 to a 2 β€œveiny triumphant one at best. The coloring of my guy faded dramatically and felt flimsy enough to pull off with ease. To paint a clearer picture my dick was as light as a feather and would float if I got in a pool. No joke. Needless to say this stressed me out to the point of almost calling out of life. I was going through a divorce had just had a surgery on my shoulder drinking heavy and severely depressed. Also I have one of the most stressful jobs on the planet.So those are the psychological stressors I was dealing with. Physical issues I know I was dealing with include enlarged bladder enlarged prostate lower cross syndrome and anterior pelvic tilt as well as 2 leaking veins confirmed by ultrasound.I sit in a car mostly all day long and wear a tight utility belt 40 hrs a week. I was lifting super heavy in the gym leg pressing over 1000 pds but I never stretched before during or after lifting so I think this could have had an effect on the muscles and fascia in that area. I also have weak glutes abs and hamstrings because I never work them. I had been seeing a urologist since the age of 29 and should have been on cialis since 22. The meds worked just fine from 29-33 or so and then this crazy shit started. I went and got a PRP and acoustic wave therapy and is the only reason my johnson is even remotely working and even resembles what it once was. Still using cialis of course. Sometimes I can get rock hard but normally I get floppy have flaccid boners.No point in debating wether this is hard flaccid or not. Or wether or not it lines up with what you got or not. Constructive input welcome.I absolutely believe I have a multitude of contributing factors that I have have already mentioned and perhaps even diet plays a role. If anyone has any tried and true possible remedies Iam all ears. I have had one day of complete normalcy after doing an hour of stretching my hips ,groin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigdeekon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2022
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Penile erection - Physiology and causes of poor erections

A normal erection is characterized by the rigidity (hardness) of the penis and an increase in its size. This requires the cavernous bodies of the penis to be filled with blood - the more blood flowing into them, the harder and larger the penis.

It is well known that blood enters any organ through the arteries and flows out of it through the veins. The penis is no exception. At rest the blood flow along the arteries is equal to the blood flow along the veins, but for an erection to happen it is necessary that the blood flow is much greater than the flow.

The mechanism of erection of the penis

  1. The brain transmits a command to the cavernous bodies of the penis via nerves.
  2. The result of this command is the release of so-called nitric oxide and the relaxation of the smooth muscles of the cavernous bodies.
  3. Accordingly, the walls of the cavernous bodies become more elastic and more blood flows into them through the arteries - the penis begins to increase in size. This process is called tumescence.
  4. There is a lot of blood going into the penis at this stage, but some of it flows back out through the veins, so there is not enough rigidity (hardness) of the penis. If at this point you do an ultrasound of the penile arteries with a determination of the blood flow rate, the rate will be 35 - 40 cm/sec (at rest 8 - 10 cm/sec).
  5. Penis gradually increases in diameter and veins that are located around cavernous bodies are squeezed between cavernous bodies and proteinous membrane, i.e. blood flow through them significantly decreases.
  6. Blood flow through the arteries remains at a high level, so the penis quickly increases in size and becomes hard.
  7. The cavernous bodies of the penis are maximally filled with blood, they can no longer be stretched, so the blood flow decreases, and the outflow practically stops. This is the stage of rigid erection and you can have a full sexual intercourse!

This is how it normally happens. However, often during intercourse blood gradually "escapes" from the penis - so the erection is unstable and can disappear at the "most responsible moment"! This is what is called arteriogenic erectile dysfunction.

Lately, the PE forums of the world have sounded the alarm about erectile dysfunction in guys who have been doing PE for a long time (often incorrectly!) while not having real sex with chronic masturbation.

There are a number of medical articles that show that guys erectile dysfunction is often caused by:

  • chron
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nupru-nero
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2021
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Acoustic Shockwave Therapy Cured My Pudendal Neuralgia

Hi everyone,

After seeing about ten specialists, I finally decided to give acoustic shockwave therapy a try out of pure desperation. They treated my left pudendal nerve, in the perineum area, especially near to the sit bone where I experienced burning and snagging sensations.

After the first treatment, which was three months ago, I've never had those symptoms again. I have been sitting down all day, exercising, everything, and it has not returned. I used to have to deal with it daily. The clinician said that essentially what it does is break down the scar tissue/fascia build up irritating the pathway of the nerve.

I'm still shocked that it worked, and I'm even more amazed that hardly anyone is talking about this. Acoustic and focused shockwaves break down plaque/scar tissue/fascia without harming nerves, and they do so extremely effectively.

I still feel some residual tension along the left side of my dick (had it for years), which he did not treat, which I plan to treat myself. I just ordered an at home acoustic shockwave device to do so.

For those skeptical as I was, acoustic shockwave therapy has been around for many years to treat all kinds of conditions, it's only recently that people have realized it can permanently treat pelvic pain and erectile issues by causing deep tissue repair.

Just sharing the good news! Thank God for technological progress!

-Update-

I don't think that acoustic shockwave therapy will resolve the original cause of my pudendal neuralgia.

I still no longer have the acute burning sensations, but there is still muscle imbalance in my left adductor hip. After further inspection, I think I have the left AIC pattern, which I am now trying to resolve.

So yes the acoustic shockwave helped resolve the acute weird nerve sensations in my pelvis, but did not solve the root source of the issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HickorySocks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2021
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My husband: Happy baby is my favorite of your stretches! Doesn't it have a great name?

Me: [immediately bursts into tears]

We were originally planning to start trying around the end of the summer/beginning of fall. But then I started having all these "inexplicable" symptoms before August even began. And since every scan, every blood test, every test ever kept coming back "normal" I started being treated as hysterical, more in need of psych meds than muscle relaxants or pain medication.

"You're young and healthy," they said. "You'll get better with some of these exercises and patience, don't worry."

Even after PT began to suspect I might be experiencing pelvic floor issues, instead of encouraging me to see a PF PT or trying to get me connected with one, they just had me add kegels to all of the exercises they'd told me to do which focused on strengthening all my muscles which later developed spasms around the area - my abs, my hip adductors and abductors, my glutes. They made me stronger just so I could experience more pain.

My PCP ignores me when I tell her Prilosec isn't helping my nausea and rapid weight loss, that I'm not experiencing pain involving eating (hard to do that when you aren't eating though), I'm not having heartburn, I don't even vomit. But my abs seem might tighter than usual and activating them in any way seems to increase my pain. I feel like I've lost my only connection to healthcare.

And now I've learned that the area I indicated, time and time again, to the ER, to my PCP, to the nurses, to the osteo, to a number of PTS..... everyone basically shrugged their shoulders and said "huh, that's weird"..... it lines up exactly with the iliac fascia. Not any nerves, muscles, or bones though! There are, after all, no other structures within the human body.

[Levator Ani spasm which I suspect has evolved into Chronic Myofascial Pain given the unrelenting tightness in nearby muscles. According to the internet, studied individuals with CMP can experience widespread muscle tightness and pain for anywhere from 6-180 months.]

All I ever wanted has been swept out from under my feet, leaving me stunned on my ass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TenguMeringue
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2021
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36 years later

My husband had a vasectomy about 36 years ago and has had pain in his testicles and groin area ever since. (I have listened to his pain complaints for 36 years so I am almost as tired of this as he is.) He is 75 and has some dementia. He has visited several urologists and was finally diagnosed with post vasectomy pain syndrome about 6-8 years ago. Was told there was nothing they could do. He sits a lot and struggles with his gait. I attend all his medical appointments because of his dementia. In the past year, we were referred to a pelvic floor physical therapist -- initially for urinary incontinence issues but it turns out she has also had recent training in working on pelvic floor pain in men. She is a godsend. She can at least relieve the pain temporarily -- for weeks at a time. One theory is that sitting has tightened his adductors and referred pain to the scar tissue in his groin area. Some of the pain may also be due to postural issues and tightness in the iliiopsoas (which may also have to do with some of his lower back pain.) She is able to massage -- and find pea size knots in the groin area fascia. We have yet to determine how long the relief will last. This is a very new field -- pelvic floor pt has been around for women often dealing with post pregnancy issues but has recently expanded to deal with male issues as well. I recommend those who have such pain seek out these specialists. You may have a difficult time finding one because this is a very new, but expanding field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellenBart
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2021
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pelvic Floor TOO STRONG

For a very long time now my pelvic floor has been overly tight. I think it's because I have always exercised it a lot while masturbating, was a chronic bedwetter but have since been an expert at holding in pee, and also tend to suck in my gut (never relaxed) since I was a child. But this has become a problem as I do not have control over flexing the muscle with the smallest amount of stimulation.

During sex it's a big problem because I will flex it without control and will have to stop or risk finishing early. But even outside of sex, simple spooning will cause my muscle to continually spasm, poking my SO in the butt over and over and over (to the point where I need to move). I once sat on a tennis ball to stretch it out and saw some improvement. I'm considering going back to that but I was wondering - - anybody else have this problem? Is there a better strategy for relaxing the muscle? It's hard to find this info in a sea of posts looking to strengthen it.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2021
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Pre-Match Thread: VfB Stuttgart vs Arminia Bielefeld

Bundesliga, Match Day 11

Sa. 4.11.2021, 15:30

Mercedes-Benz Arena, Stuttgart

Match hashtag: #VfBDSC

Press conference

  • Team news: None of the following will be available for the match: Marmoush, Mavropanos, FΓΌhrich and Kempf. Thommy, after his covid infection, suffers pelvic obliquity, also got his wisdom teeth removed; he's out for the game as well. Silas joined part-time training this week, it's looking good; he might be able to come back against Dortmund. Momo CissΓ© and Li Egloff are back in the training completely.

  • Reporter: You didn't mention Flo MΓΌller, does that mean that he'll be able to play?

> Matarazzo: MΓΌller's back in the training, but he's not at 100% yet, both athletically and energetically. He's on a good path, but we'll see if he's ready to play or not.

  • R: VfB won only one of the last 10 matches and you missed a chance to beat one of the teams that are behind you. Now with Bielefeld you'll get another chance. How did you experience this week's atmosphere? Did the Augsburg match lower their confidence?

> M: Well, it's obvious that your confidence increases with successes. Everyone was disappointed after the game, especially after minute 20. But they know how to get back into shape, they had a great energy the last couple of days in the training. I think that our final training today will go well and that we'll be well-prepared for tomorrow's match.

  • R: What's wrong with Kempf? Torn muscle fiber?

> M: Not quite, torn fasciae. (In German he called it "Faszieneinriss") It'd be risky if he played, so he's gonna rest. Yesterday he tried to get back into training, but still had pain.

  • R: Did you ever experience that kind of bad luck with all those injured players at the moment?

> M: Sometimes I lean back and think to myself: That's crazy. But I don't think about it too much. I'm focused on the players that are there and on the upcoming match tomorrow. That's the way I am.

  • R: Before the season started all of you said that your only goal would be to stay in the league. But now, after 10 games, nobody would have expected that it went the way it did. How is the team handling the situation?

> M: I think we're handling it well. We defined our goal to stay in the league clearly in the beginning. We're 100% convinced that if we go to the limit that we can do it.

  • R: You said the Bochum game was a key game. What role does the upcoming ma
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hundertzwoelf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2021
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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Videos for your journey- Pelvic Floor

I have been on this battle for a little over a year now. Still not giving up and I hope all of you don't either. Here is a list of all the videos/ Internet pages I have looked at and kept over the last year. My problems are a lot better then they used to be but I am still not where I would like to be. With that being said I still continue to see improvement. Do not get afraid if you see your problems move around while you seem to get better in other ways. One of the most important things you can do while battling PFD is keep your mental state in a appropriate place. Allow your self to be upset during bad days but also realize you don't have to chase every thought you have about your condition. Mindfulness is key! KEY I SAID! People who battle anxiety and or depression/PTSD/ Trauma seem to have a harder time recovering from PFD imo. They like to play hand in hand kinda like depression and anxiety. Some of you will get better very fast, you can go fuck yourself...no im jk jk lol. Thats awesome, but some of us will have to work much harder to get better. For me it is a hard area to deal with because of past trauma, but I beat something similar before and we will beat this. Everyone will have their own solution. Some it will be just stress, some will be just strengthening, some it will just one day go away, some will have it go away with a mixture of activity and therapy? No one is alike and the more we all get discouraged with other peoples success or "normal life" (not real) the more we indulge subconsciously into our condition. Not everyone but many of the people who Struggle with other things that may interfere with this condition. Again don't paint a broad brush with any of your symptoms or information. You will know whats right for you. Relaxing in general will help all us, so I would start there. Find a physical Therapist or physio in pelvic floor therapy if you can. Some people find the gym helpful, Physical activity isn't great for me yet but i plan on getting back there. One of the most powerful tools is movement though, so I encourage all of you to walk every day at a brisk pace, which helps with circulation and pelvic floor stability. Also check your posture. Okay too long, wrap it up time. Kegals- lightly always when starting, I avoid them all together but some of you really may just have a weak pelvic floor but start slowly on them. (This is where PF therapy helps) Many would probably be better with with learning how to reverse kegal which is so

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgformvp21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2021
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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You've been hit by
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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F45 Frisco Success Story 49M 6'1'' SW260->CW205 GW195

I've managed to lose a lot of weight since joining F45, and a lot of people have asked me how, so I thought I'd write down what helped. Keep in mind everyone is different, especially when it comes to blood sugar. I'm putting this on Reddit because a lot of the sub-reddits like /Keto /Intermittantfasting /OMAD /fasting /CICO and /Leangains have been incredibly useful. The F45 sub-reddit hasn't had many success stories, so here you go.

Background: I went for my yearly physical in April and found out I was pre-diabetic, with high blood pressure, a fatty liver and a host of other metabolic issues. Clearly, I ate and drank way too much during the pandemic and needed to do something about it. I've always lifted weights, but I never really recovered from a double hip replacement in 2016 and years before that on a cane. Since the surgeries, I kept going back to the big-box gyms and eventually getting hurt, which would set me back for months. During Covid, I could never really work out at home. I need a gym to get in the right head space and other people around to get me fired up. I also needed to stop lifting like a teenage meathead.

A friend of mine in law enforcement told me that this new type of gym was opening in Frisco, TX. A lot of retired military and law enforcement liked it, he said, because they always adjusted for old injuries, enforced good form but still kicked your ass - like Crossfit, but for grownups. You show up, do your 45 minutes, then get back to work/kids. Six months ago, I couldn't do a lateral squat to save my life. Now, I can do one on either side holding 100+ pounds.

After 6 months, I've dropped 55 pounds, my blood pressure went from 145/98 to 130/78 and I went from pre-diabetic to no diabetic. My free testosterone doubled. Triglycerides are perfect.

Here are some of the things that were key for me (Sorry for the wall of text, this is everything I was thinking and doing):

Reducing the cognitive burden: We all only have so much willpower. The fewer decisions you have to make about going to the gym or what to eat, the easier it is. Pick set times for the gym and make friends - don't feel pressure, but do seek accountability, even if it's in your own head. Pick 5 places to eat out or Doordash in, and have healthy choices already decided. I work out at F45 on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday without fail. It is on my work calendar. I eat about 15 different recipes and don't need to see the menu at a restaurant - I always get t

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vhipster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2021
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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For the Sex/Masturbation/PE Injuries That Resulted in a Hard Flaccid. As Mentioned in a Previous Post Penile Ligaments Can Be a Source of Hard Flaccid. Another Source That Can Cause HF Is a Colles Fascia Injury. The Symptoms of Colles Fascia Injury That Can Result in a Hard Flaccid. For the Hopeless

https://preview.redd.it/kxvvo91c4zp71.png?width=449&format=png&auto=webp&s=8183ae7cfae671d9657beea03324826612b18c21

Join my new Discord for general HF chat and etc. which talks about the trauma aspect and vascular cause of HF https://discord.gg/ufBspK8GCs

Join my Discord as we are still gaining new members each day 24/7 and a general HF chat that is based upon trauma and medical treatment and etc. https://discord.gg/ufBspK8GCs

https://discord.gg/ufBspK8GCs

https://discord.gg/ufBspK8GCs

https://discord.gg/ufBspK8GCs

https://discord.gg/ufBspK8GCs

This post's desire and purpose is to reach out to the hopeless hard flaccid sufferers and not to offend anyone

As we know there are many hard flaccid sufferers that had an injury as a result of a sex/masturbation/PE injury and resulted in a chronic hard flaccid.

For these injuries of structural damage, there are many symptoms that happen right at the acute moment of the injury.

There are many hard flaccid sufferers here from an acute injury and noticed something was wrong right at the exact moment.

For Sex/masturbation and Penis Enlargement Hard Flaccid Injury Sufferers. How Many Here Have Had Their Penile Ligaments Checked Medically for the Cause of Hf. and if Not, Symptoms That Can Resemble an Injury to the Penile Ligaments as the Cause of Hard Flaccid. : Hard_Flaccid (reddit.com) .

Here is this post about how the penile ligaments can be a source of hard flaccid issues and the symptoms that are specific to a penile ligament injury or disruption.

This post is focused on the Colles fascia since the Colles fascia can cause hard flaccid symptoms and can be injured from sex/masturbation/pe injuries.

For the guys that injured themselves, a good thorough evaluation should be done for yourselves to check for ligament disruption or feel underneath the penile shaft in the pelvic area of the Colles fascia to feel any disruption.

If any hard flaccid sufferers have UNILATERAL symptoms (which means one-sided) such as abnormities of just one side of the base or corpus cavernosum such as an indent on only one side of the penis then it’s guaranteed structur

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qwqwqw1010
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2021
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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My glutes don't fire at all

I've tried glute bridges, hip thrusts... Kickbacks... Glute medius does fire but never glute max. Please help. I take care of the form but still never fire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/menezesmarlon4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TR1771N
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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No spoilers
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Should we create an English word for the 'day after tomorrow'?

Or would that be too forward thinking?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afunkysquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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Covid problems
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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Pelvic floor dysfunction r/t no burp

Just wondering from other suffering from this as I am the only one of all my family and friends (no one understands!)..does anyone-particularly females with this- have issues with tight stomach fascia and/or pelvic floor dysfunction/pain and spasming? My PT has a theory that all the gastric distress in my chest and upper abdomen over the years (I have never been able to burp even as a baby) may have caused this cascade of pain and tightness over time which in turn caused more pain and tightness in my pelvic muscles. Just wondering if anyone else has pelvic floor dysfunction as well and if it could actually be related. Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Low-North4191
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2021
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Physical self care on the trail

I work as a Medical Massage Therapist specializing in injury management and post-surgical recovery. I am expensive. I see many questions in the dailies and many topics on how to care for or prevent injuries on the trail and also how to manage issues in daily life that are impacted by hiking. This is meant to be a rough overview of good practices to the best of my professional knowledge. Keep in mind that although I am a medical professional with a decade of experience, my level of training and therefore scope of practice is limited when compared to an MD or even an experienced physical therapist. I originally started this post for the hiking injury weekly but it got pretty long so I figured I'd turn it into it's own thing. Here goes!

  1. Stretching
    Stretching is one of the best things you can do to prevent pain and injury, and by far the most accessible. Look for basic leg, hip, chest opening, and neck stretches on youtube. Each stretch should be light, not intense, and never bounced! I recommend 10-20 minutes of stretching in the morning as soon as you wake up and 10-20 minutes before you go to bed. Stretching before bed helps prevent your body from tightening up during sleep as it heals from the day's exertion. Stretching in the morning helps keep you limber throughout the day, although I find it less important for hiking as most hikers start slow and are unlikely to overextend themselves before being properly warmed up.
    For clarity, the stretching I recommend is very light. In a sports or gym setting, stretching is used at least in part to increase flexibility. For hikers, that flexibility is unnecessary. The individual stretches are the same but held for a shorter period of time and with significantly less intensity. You don't want to "feel the stretch" very much. Stretching in massage focuses primarily on releasing tension in muscle fibers and fascia, while athletic stretching causes microtears in those same structures that cause a physical lengthening as the body adjusts and repairs. The extremely high level of activity hikers experience is more than enough to ensure appropriate flexibility!
  1. Warm up
    Just like gym class, all exercise benefits from a warm up. A few bodyweight exercises, again 10-20 minutes' worth, will get your blood flowing and prep your muscles for exertion. On longer days, simply hiking slow for the first half-hour makes an excellent warm up, but if you're starting your day with a scramble or a steep climb
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/commeatus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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Spi__
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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For Gotham
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeHugsXD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Interstitial cystisis.

Hello, can someone please tell me how ic pain feels like because I'm not able to identify if it's ic, does your pelvic feel heavy/hurt all the time? Do your legs feel heavy as well sometimes?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safe-Cap811
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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