My daughter had a horrible peak-a-boo accident

Now she’s in the ICU

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yousuchafukinhoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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The *peak* of puns ;)
πŸ‘︎ 318
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peak-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

πŸ‘︎ 21k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Hill areas
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natnat301
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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This is the peak of my social life
πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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When do you think humanity peaked?

Well, after we invented the wheel, it was all downhill from there.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yorkshirenation
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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My life peaked when I finally climbed Mt. Everest

But it's all been downhill from there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepy_Titan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Saw this in r/jokes, figured this was peak fatherhood /r/Jokes/comments/ht335z/…
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceo_greasyduck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Peak humor is upon us
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LincolnBio_
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The mountains aren't just funny, they're

Hill areas

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krishi2202
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I peaked, and there were so few witnesses.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LongShaynx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the peeping tom climb mountains?

Because he always peaked.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get peak activity?

Climb a mountain!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
This is my peak I will never come up with a better pun
πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamza91001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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Husband was in peak dad form today: What do you call a mathematician magician?

Criss Angle.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BruhNana13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The Monk and The Cow

A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.

"moo."

The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.

He's interrupted again, "moooo."

The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."

The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.

"Oooooommmm-"

Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."

"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."

The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"

"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.

The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"

The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconbuddy95
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The actual peak of humanity
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beijial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Because... because a mountain... has... has a.. has a peak
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavyJones333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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This sign peaked my interest. imgur.com/xVZBTOY
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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I have peaked Dad Jokeness

[Just some context]

Like my father, I sneeze loudly. I sneeze so loudly in fact, while walking my dog this morning, my wife heard me sneeze from 200m away, in our apartment.

When I got home my wife greeted me, "Hello, Sneezer."

I replied, devastated, "Et tu Brute?"

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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I’ve peaked. My girlfriend and her friend are both leaving their current jobs for better positions. This is the best joke I’ve ever made.
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T3hN1nj4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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The peak moment of high school

This actually happened, probably close to 20 years ago now. In my high school chemistry class, the teacher asked if anyone knew what nitrates were.

It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

"I don't know," I replied, "but I bet they are better than day rates."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaryuSaryu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Here’s the joke β€” What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?

A1C por favor

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The Mongolian army was unstoppable at its peak.

They were always one steppe ahead of their enemies.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitch_watson
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the smartest peak one can summit?

Mount Cleverest

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve peaked.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/War_King_123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The top fell off the peak of my roof

It was the finial straw

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve reached peak Dad!

Went to the outdoor ice rink yesterday with my wife and son. Ran into our friend Rosy and her kids who were just leaving. Rosy said they had fun but were cold now so had to leave. I responded β€œyea you look cold. Your cheeks are...........rosy” cue my wife’s loud groan.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deep_6d
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I M LIVID
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farhan_Hyder
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Four men are sitting in a hospital waiting room because their wives are all giving birth,

A nurse comes up to the first man and says, β€œCongratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!”

β€œThat’s funny...” the man said, β€œI work for Twin Peaks!”

Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, β€œCongratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!”

β€œThat’s funny...” the second man said, β€œ I work for the 3M company!”

Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, β€œCongratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!”

β€œThat’s so funny...” said the third man, β€œI work at the Four Seasons Hotel!”

The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, β€œWhat’s wrong?” the other men ask.

β€œI work at Seven Eleven.” He replied.

Happy Fathers Day!

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NighTraiN7804
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
It's only 5am and I am done with the internet for the day. I've peaked.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
The Pressure of Hurricane Michael at its peak was 1004MB.

Why didn't we just zip it in a folder to make it smaller?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tm23246
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Just received Twin Peaks and the "missing pieces"
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meemboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Visiting my parents for the first time since COVID. He has taken up cropdusting people and proclaiming, "Surprise health check." To make sure you can smell and/or taste still.

Sorry not a witty one-liner but peak of dad humor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Infuuri
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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How do you add a mountain's peak to another one?

You summit.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Im sure the views from Everest's peak are breathtaking...
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theend_97
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you take someone after a peak-a-boo accident?

The ICU.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Antonioooooo0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a mountain makes a joke

Peak comedy

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swezshaun135
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Mountains are not funny.

They are hill areas

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnome00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Mountains are not funny

They are hill areas.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnome00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How to mountains see?

They peak.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaggysolo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How do mountains see.?

They peak.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BUNi95
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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