I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

 

 

#Picks Of The Week (by u/lefuniname)

####1. Killer Hertz - Stingray [Self-released] Recommended if you like: Pendulum, The Prototypes, DC Breaks

I've been waiting a while for this one.

Ever since I've heard both Koven and A.M.C blast this track across the rainy and muddy grounds of Milovice Airfield, better known as the festival grounds of Let It Roll, my personal hype train for the release of this new Pendulum dub was set in motion. Yeah, you can probably already see where I went wrong. So, without further ado, let's talk about the people actually responsible for this dancefloor banger: Killer Hertz!

In short, Killer Hertz are a Brighton-based collective of musicians from all over the DnB scene. They burst onto the scene in 2016 on Futurebound's Viper Recordings, with the straight-up dancefloor carnage that are Prometheus, Cryogenics and All Out. In the same year, they even remixed Matrix & Futurebound's anthem Fire! After becoming aware of Friction constantly spinning their tunes on his BBC Radio 1 show, they got in contact with him and decided to sign with his then-new label Elevate Records. Huge tune after huge tune followed, but that isn't all there is to Killer Hertz. Pretty much right from the start they knew that they wanted to create a unique live experience. Sure, DJing is fun too, but their real end goal was something more like the live band experience from the australian band I briefly mixed them up with at Let It Roll. In 2019, that dream finally became true: Fron

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

TL;DR

Made all-time hometown rosters with original 30 NBA teams + 25 new teams to split populated areas and big teams (spreadsheet + map)

Player Pool and Team Pool

I used the top 969 players who have at least 10000 minutes played in their career.

Why 10000 minutes played? Because that's the lower standard set by Basketball-Reference to get on their ABA career leaderboard (15000 MP for NBA). I added George Mikan, because even though he hasn't played enough minutes, he's featured in All-Time ESPN NBARank and Bill Simmons Hall of Fame Pyramid.

I started off with the current 30 teams. To split up the Lakers and Clippers, I gave the Clippers their proposed Inglewood site.

As I looked at the map of player hometowns, I realized that there were:

• some areas that had a lot of players, but few close NBA teams
• some areas that had bloated rosters with too many players

Based off city population and arena size, I added 25 new teams.

• I obviously had to give Seattle their team back
• Birmingham, North Little Rock and Shreveport helped to split up the South
• Pittsburgh and St. Louis were big cities without teams
• Berkeley added to siphon off San Francisco
  • if I add Oakland, it takes away too many players
• Anaheim and Westwood added in Southern California (Clippers & Lakers)
• Winston-Salem and Raleigh to pare down Charlotte
• Lansing to prune Detroit
• 2nd Atlanta team in suburb of College Park
• 2nd Washington team and Baltimore
• 2 more teams in Chicago (Rosemont and South Side) + a team in Gary
• 2nd Indiana team + Louisville & Lexington
• 2nd Philadelphia team in suburb of Wynnewood
• 3 more teams in the New York Area (Newark, Queens and Long Island)

The Method

I started off gathering hometowns due to this fantastic database by Reuben Fischer-Baum ([original article source here](https://deadspin.com/infographics-where-do-pro-basketball-players-come-from-5132615

BamBOO!

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

When I got home, they were still there.