On rainy days, my wife thinks it’s pathetic when I stare through the window.

It would be less pathetic if she just let me in.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Woke up feeling pathetic

Oh no but he looked so cozy

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1-sh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
🚨︎ report
Need movie related Meerkat puns

I don’t know if it’s allowed as this technically isn’t a pun itself, but my store is tv and film related and we are taking part in a trail where each store gets and names their own meerkat cut out. So… any ideas? We’re struggling. The best we got is Meerkatniss Everdeen ahah.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gilanes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2022
🚨︎ report
"That's what she said" is not a funny punchline. It's old, pathetic and doesn't work!

That's what she said.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarcastic-being
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

After checking the reviews, they saw we only had one star.

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Actuaryba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I think this belongs here, so does u/i_am_a_pathetic
πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kokachi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you ever had one of those days where you’re drawing with a [white] coloring pencil on a [white] sheet of paper?

Because I’m drawing a blank…

Note: feel free to swap β€œwhite” with any other color, as long as they’re exactly the same…

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vinsable
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Buckets are pathetic compared to bathtubs

In fact they pail in comparison

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided not to buy a baguette after seeing a pathetic mock up of it in the bakery window.

It was a terrible roll model.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rc538
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor said that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to go....

Because they dilate...

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooRobots3440
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughs in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

πŸ‘︎ 276
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Mars: Is it true that only 3% of your water is drinkable?

Earth: Yes.

Mars: That’s pathetic.

Earth: At least I have more than you.

Mars: Stop being so salty.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

πŸ‘︎ 147
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine

when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kachow--
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman named Falacy walks into a bar...

A woman walks into a bar and takes a seat. The bartender asks what she wants to drink and her name, "Falacy" she responds despondently.

"What's got you down, Falacy?" he asks.

"I had a terrible day, my dog threw up all over my shoes this morning, got fired from my job and my car broke down on the way home. To make matters worse as I trudged over to this bar it started pouring it down with rain."

The bartender looks her up and down pitifully.

"That's pathetic, Falacy"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Horrisyodo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If I get a tick as a pet,

I would name it pathetic.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aith8rios
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my mom

Me: "Did you hear about the kid that died today?"

Mom: "Aww, that's sad! What happened?"

Me: "He died of snow-verdose."

Mom: "...that was pathetic."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Seto-Kaiba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.