I've been on this sub for over a year. Here are all the unwritten rules:
Husband: It says here, that over 5,000 camels are used to make paintbrushes each year.
Wife: Isn't it amazing what they can teach camels to do nowadays.
Two muffins were sitting in an oven, and the first looks over to the second, and says, “man, it’s really hot in here”.
The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers, “WHOA, a talking muffin!”
Q: The day after the holiday, what did the fridge say when it was asked, "Is everything al-right over here?"?
A: "No, everything is all left-over here!"
Over here writing my memeoir
Park it over it here
My mom likes pulling straight into park spots. My dad prefers to back in. I don't care. I'm Neutral
Soldier 1: "zz~ WE'RE TAKING A LOT OF SHOTS OVER HERE!"
Soldier 2: "zz~ ALRIGHT, DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH!"
This might go over the heads of some of the kids on here (x-post from /r/funny)
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
I glanced up, called my daughter over to the computer and said, "Hey, you like jokes right? Come here and check this one out!"
Excuse me, is someone doing dad jokes over here ?
'Cause I could step-dad in.
"I've come here to hand over this abandoned cygnet that I rescued and raised"
Animal shelter: "Nice swan".
Every time i drive over a railroad crossing I say there's been a train through here recently do you know how I can tell?
Did you here about the dwarf climbing over the wall to escape prison?
He fell!
It was a little condescending.
Just wanted to moove this post over here :)
I was looking all over for this spice, but it was here the whole time!!
imgur.com/a/GiCCv
Waitress comes over to see if we are ready to order by saying "Are we good to go here?"
"No, actually we'd like to stay and eat"
I'm sitting in traffic with my dad today when he scoffs, shakes his head, throws up his hand and says "look at THIS clown over here!"
I look over and there is literally a dude in full clown make-up driving a vw bettle next to us. Pop maintained a straight face through the whole thing.
“Hey how far east did the bunny go? Like somewhere over here?”
Two muffins are baking in an oven. One looks over and says "its getting warm in here!"
The other replies "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"
Wife tells me "There's a dime on the floorboard over here."
"Yeah, it makes it easier to turn."
I ate dinner at a retirement home today. After I sat down an older gentleman got up from his seat, slowly walked over to me, parked his walker, looked at me and said "you look new around here, if you ever need anything from me here's my card". [ xpost from r/pics]
I'm picking up a reading over here by me
http://i.imgur.com/cL176Yz.jpg
Two muffins were sitting in an oven, and the first looks over to the second, and says, “man, it’s really hot in here”. The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers,
“WHOA, a talking muffin!"
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