Once upon a time at the opposite of the beginning

The end.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theelfsmother
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Once upon a time a broken sword told me it was the best weapon in the world...

And he had a point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asagao90
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Once upon a time in the jungle...

Once upon a time there were numerous tribes in a jungle. Each tribe struggled to survive, and over time and as skills evolved, tribes began to trade goods with each other. One tribe learned the skills of architecture, and traded designs for safe grass houses with neighboring tribes for other necessities, such as food. Over time, the tribe grew quite rich, and without the need for goods the chief of the tribe demanded payment in the form of a tribute, an ornate throne. Over time the number of thrones the chief owned grew more and more numerous, so he had a great multi-story grass house built to store all of his thrones. One day, the weight of the thrones became so much the house collapsed, killing the chief. The moral of the story is… wait for it…

He who lives in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pirate-Frog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Once upon a time a lion and a cheetah had a race . This is what happened.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/radhikagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Once upon a time in numberland, a three-person race was held

In it took part the Minus sign, and the numbers zero and -2. All three ended the race at precisely the same time.

-2, Minus Won; 0 Won Too.

(Reddit, I am counting on you to make this stupid joke popular!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Once upon a time when I visited the dentist........

Doctor: What's the problem?

Me: I'm a moth.

Doctor: Excuse me?

Me: I'm a moth.

Doctor: Maybe you should see a psychiatrist not a dentist.

Me: I went to the psychiatrist about an hour ago.

Doctor: Then what are you doing here?

Me: Your light was on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Once upon a time in numberland, the numbers 3 and 5 were jealous of the number 2.

2 was enjoying a special position in the sequence of numbers. It was the only even prime number. All the other even numbers existed only because 2 existed. Heck, even computers ran on base-2.

As a result, 2 looked down upon all the other numbers, but no one could do anything about it.

3 and 5 conspired against 2 and decided they needed to do something so that it lost its powers. They kidnapped 2, and through magic divided 2’s powers equally among themselves. 2 ceased to exist. 3 and 5 both increased by 1.

Looking at 2’s dead body, they said, β€œNow we are even.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Once upon a time a postman was working at a new place

Oh wait don't worry the joke has been postponed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerxbykabil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Once upon a time, a setup went to a ball.

At the ball were many important people, well above the setup’s class. There was Original Content, Reposts, and even a couple from Google Searches for β€˜Dad Jokes Nobody Knows’.

Just seeing them made his mouth dry, so he began looking for something to drink. He knew his friend Joke was there somewhere, part of the crew catering the food and drinks. Seeing a server carrying glasses of champagne, he went up to him and asked,

β€œWould you know where to find the one they call the Joke? He’s supposed to be running drinks I think,”

β€œYeah! For sure. He’s right over there! You’ll find him at the end of the punch line,”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmicnate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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Once upon a time in Wuhan...
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AngkaSaWan01
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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Once upon a time a man assaulted me with milk, butter, and cheese.

How dairy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miyashinzki
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?

The prince was unbearable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keksyz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Once upon a time There was a grape and a melon who had a date

The conversation was prety dry, so the grape begun raisin some questions

"Where do you see this relationship going?" he asked

"Look, i may not have my perents consent, but i think we are a nice pear, so don't think i can't-elope"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/etay1903
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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Once upon a time, a wolf insulted a cow. How did the cow respond ?

He said, "Don't call me a cow word."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l1mebs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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Once upon a time...

...a devil lived inside a palin-dome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pungunner98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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Once upon a time there were 3 bears.

Now there's lots of em.

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πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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My little girl asked me today, β€œDaddy, do all fairy tales begin with β€˜Once upon a time?'”

I replied, β€œNo honey, some of them begin with β€˜If I’m elected.'”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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Once upon a time there was a woman

Her name was Ninety and she had three kids. One day, the kids found a stray cat in their backyard and they decided to take care of it. However, they knew that their mother would disapprove, so in order to keep it a secret, they used "This" when referring to the cat. Eventually, the cat died of old age and the kids moved on with their lives. Therefore, only Ninety's kids will remember This.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomatomater
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
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Once upon a time two trees fell in love

I will stop the story there because it gets too sappy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quenoquesoporque
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2015
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Once upon a time there were 3 bears..

now look how many there are!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheopilusP
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2015
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