On Photography Puns

I couldn't shutter up!

So it's been almost 3 weeks since a lockdown was triggered in the UK and there have been quite a few knock on effects.. Some good and some bad which I want to share in this post.

Firstly one of my friends lost his job. He worked as a psychic.. Never saw it coming. Its been a difficult couple of weeks and he is now considering a complete career change...considering becoming a baker of all things.. But I suppose he really kneads the dough. I suggested he focus on photography, but nothing ever developed.

Another of my friends was also made redundant. He managed to get a Skype interview for a position in Tescos within a few days. The interviewer asked him: "what is your biggest weakness?", he replied "I don't know when to quit". The interviewer said "OK, your hired". He said "I quit".

Work has been busy for me but since I can't enjoy the things I usually do I have been looking for some new things to do around the house. It's been nice have the thyme to do more cooking. I randomly started a boat building business in my garage.. Sails have gone through the roof.

In an unsettling reversal of my teenage years I am now shouting at my parents for leaving the house. I suggested they take up scrabble to keep them occupied.. Turned out to be a bad idea from the word go.

It's been great hearing about how world pollution levels have been failling. I read the story about fish now being visible in the canals in Venice.. I hope that story isnt a load of pollocks! Cod, these were eely bad. Will stop carping on now!

http://i.imgur.com/p6dZPCB.jpg

We work for an aerial photography company out of a private airport and recently our old windsock needed replaced.

The new text on it reads, "Midwest Aerial Photo - Blow Me" The guy who ordered it kept grinning and we keep groaning.

My parents visited me last weekend. Short on ideas, we decided to hit up a widely-respected art museum. They had some new exhibitions, some of which were a little outside our personal tastes and expectations.

We walked into a photography exhibit and saw, along one wall, a sheet of green. This sheet of green was a little higher and taller than the average door, and stretched all the way down that bit of wall plus a few feet onto the floor.

"Oh," I said, "a green screen. That's kind of a neat little thing to have here. Sort of an homage to that style of film, I guess?"

Little did I know. In hindsight, I don't know why I expected anything different.

My father and I approached the plaque beside it. There we learned the truth: This was not a green screen. No. No, this was a specially printed photograph.

A photograph... of a green screen.

There we stood, astonished at the audacity of the thing before us. "My God," I said aloud, "This, right here, this is something else. This is just plain genius. Can you imagine getting money for something like this? Why didn't we come up with this? This is gold!"

To which my dad simply responded, "No, son...

... it's green."

So me and my gf were on the way back from a Front Bottoms concert in London, getting a lift back with her dad and shes telling the story of the night to him when she gets onto the topic of her photography and says:

"I love my new camera, I was able to zoom in & retain great quality! I got some sweet pictures of the lead singers head and shoulders"

To which I chimed in with:

"Yeah, you should have tried to get his knees and toes as well!"

I can still hear the groans now.