news of the unibomber's death is blowing up on social media
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︎ Jun 12 2023
My friend got this virus that makes you constantly seek attention on social media
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︎ Jan 19 2023
What do you call a reptile that always starts a ruckus on social media?
An instagator.
I'll see myself out.
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︎ Aug 07 2022
Somone scammed me by selling me dodgy candies on social media.
It was a TikTok TicTac tactic
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︎ Dec 28 2022
I read an article about the guy who sings "Blinding Lights." He has 2 publicists, 3 full-time stylists, a social media manager, and a limo driver all on his payroll.
Seems like everybody's working for The Weeknd.
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︎ Oct 31 2022
A man died unexpectedly after obsessively posting photos of his pet parrot on social media for Likes and Follows...
The post-mortem said that it was a tragic case of Avian Influencer....
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︎ Dec 08 2022
What do you call a cyber-bullying alligator on social media?
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︎ Sep 01 2022
Why do social media influencers want to appear on Naked and Afraid?
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︎ Jul 25 2022
What type of virus has the most followers on social media?
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︎ May 22 2022
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
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︎ Feb 28 2022
My neighbor is stalking me by looking me up on Google and checking my social media every hour
I saw it through my telescope last night
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︎ May 02 2021
During βThe Blipβ in the MCU, a lot of people gathered on a particular social media app to discuss the tragedy that Thanos had caused.
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︎ Dec 12 2021
One should not recorder this kind of thing on social media
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︎ Jun 28 2020
My friend is addicted to taking pictures of his breakfast and posting it on social media.
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︎ Jul 17 2021
A psychology student decided to see if she had more followers if she dressed sluttily on social media.
It was a thot experiment.
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︎ Jul 08 2021
What do you call a minty horse on social media?
A tik tok tic tac clip clop.
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︎ May 20 2021
One should not recorder this kind of thing on social media.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
If Post Malone uploads a photo of himself on social media...
Does he therefore Post Malone?
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︎ May 03 2020
A nuclear power plant put up a new sign outside that read, "Post your positive reviews of us on social media!"
They were just fission for compliments.
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︎ Jun 19 2020
What do you call someone whoβs paid to share videos of them self sneezing on social media?
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︎ Apr 12 2020
If a painter records videos of himself painting and posts them on social media,
is he considered a recording artist?
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︎ Jun 14 2020
I'm going on a social media fast
I'll see you all next year βοΈ
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︎ Dec 31 2019
My friend is a pretty unsuccessful farmer. But he tries a lot to promote his business on social media by providing a new profile picture every 3 months. Unfortunately the picture always seems to have his head or side chopped off a bit.
Another season, another bad crop.
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︎ Jun 27 2019
Found on social media...
I've got some racing geese to give away...
Let me know if you want to take a quick gander.
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︎ Jan 21 2020
Spider lists its profession on social media
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︎ Mar 07 2020
What do you call back pain from being on social media for long periods of time?
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︎ Mar 15 2019
My dad picked out a book on social media to read...
And I said 'nah, I already reddit'
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︎ May 09 2018
Saw a man dad joke his daughter on social media today...
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︎ Sep 08 2014
If you ever find yourself thinking about posting song lyrics on social media, just ask yourself
Is it worth it? Let me work it. I put my thing down flip it n' reverse it.
(Friend posted this on Facebook)
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︎ Jun 22 2014
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︎ Oct 04 2013
I read an article about the guy who sings "Blinding Lights." He has 2 publicists, 3 full-time stylists, a social media manager, and a limo driver all on his payroll.
I guess everybody's working for The Weeknd.
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︎ Oct 31 2022
What do you call a reptile that's always starting shit on social media?
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︎ Feb 12 2021
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