news of the unibomber's death is blowing up on social media
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2023
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My friend got this virus that makes you constantly seek attention on social media

Bad case of Influenca

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πŸ‘€︎ u/menackin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2023
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What do you call a reptile that always starts a ruckus on social media?

An instagator.

I'll see myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taladan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2022
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Somone scammed me by selling me dodgy candies on social media.

It was a TikTok TicTac tactic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anxious_Start4839
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2022
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I read an article about the guy who sings "Blinding Lights." He has 2 publicists, 3 full-time stylists, a social media manager, and a limo driver all on his payroll.

Seems like everybody's working for The Weeknd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2022
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A man died unexpectedly after obsessively posting photos of his pet parrot on social media for Likes and Follows...

The post-mortem said that it was a tragic case of Avian Influencer....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marmaladecorgi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cyber-bullying alligator on social media?

An Insta-gator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadeUpNamePart2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2022
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Why do social media influencers want to appear on Naked and Afraid?

For the exposure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluejaynight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2022
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What type of virus has the most followers on social media?

An Influenzcer virus.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DingoAltair
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2022
🚨︎ report
Why would doors do well on social media?

Everyone looks for their handles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lava_Wolf_68
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2022
🚨︎ report
My neighbor is stalking me by looking me up on Google and checking my social media every hour

I saw it through my telescope last night

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
During β€œThe Blip” in the MCU, a lot of people gathered on a particular social media app to discuss the tragedy that Thanos had caused.

They used Snapchat.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peregrine_c
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2021
🚨︎ report
One should not recorder this kind of thing on social media
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is addicted to taking pictures of his breakfast and posting it on social media.

He is a cereal reposter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A psychology student decided to see if she had more followers if she dressed sluttily on social media.

It was a thot experiment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Isabeaudelaire
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2021
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What do you call a minty horse on social media?

A tik tok tic tac clip clop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam_Gill_1965
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
One should not recorder this kind of thing on social media.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
If Post Malone uploads a photo of himself on social media...

Does he therefore Post Malone?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holywhitefang1
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A nuclear power plant put up a new sign outside that read, "Post your positive reviews of us on social media!"

They were just fission for compliments.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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What do you call someone who’s paid to share videos of them self sneezing on social media?

An influenzer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmca420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
If a painter records videos of himself painting and posts them on social media,

is he considered a recording artist?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raaalphs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm going on a social media fast

I'll see you all next year ✌️

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jdabby32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is a pretty unsuccessful farmer. But he tries a lot to promote his business on social media by providing a new profile picture every 3 months. Unfortunately the picture always seems to have his head or side chopped off a bit.

Another season, another bad crop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Found on social media...

I've got some racing geese to give away...

Let me know if you want to take a quick gander.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Spider lists its profession on social media

Web Designer

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kill_Them_Back
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call back pain from being on social media for long periods of time?

Scroll-iosis

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lost_ina_fantasy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad picked out a book on social media to read...

And I said 'nah, I already reddit'

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scorp1a
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Saw a man dad joke his daughter on social media today...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wewakeful
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
🚨︎ report
If you ever find yourself thinking about posting song lyrics on social media, just ask yourself

Is it worth it? Let me work it. I put my thing down flip it n' reverse it.

(Friend posted this on Facebook)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SgtKraken
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2014
🚨︎ report
A whole podcast episode dedicated to Dad Jokes, from On The Media onthemedia.org/story/3-jo…
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
🚨︎ report
I read an article about the guy who sings "Blinding Lights." He has 2 publicists, 3 full-time stylists, a social media manager, and a limo driver all on his payroll.

I guess everybody's working for The Weeknd.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reptile that's always starting shit on social media?

An instagator

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oneiroknots
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report

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