My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
There’s two old men sitting on their front porch when a dog comes up and starts licking it’s junk
One of the old men goes, man I wish I could do that.
The other says, you can’t do that. That dog’ll bite you.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough
What did the dog say when he threw his old chew toy away?
My 4y olds temp is a bit high this morning so I told her she was as sick as a dog we have to take her to the vet.
She was a bit scared a very confused until we showed up at grandmas house as usual. Happy Veterans Day to my mom and those who served ! and thanks to all of you that are AD | NAD | TRS | TAMP for your service.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Remember, you can't teach an old dog new tricks
But you can teach old people dog tricks.
A three-legged dog walks into an old west saloon
and says, "I don't want no trouble, I'm jus' lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
(12 year old) Daughter: "The dog has a piece of confetti stuck to his butt."
Me: "That's because he's a party pooper!"
When the old man gives a dog a bone...
What’s similar between an old tree and an old dog?
They both have an aged bark.
Courtesy of my 8 year old, "What did the cat say to the dog?"
I was walking my dog this morning when I saw a rock help an old lady cross the street
Which disease do old dogs suffer from?
A man posts an old joke about dog zoos.
It was a shitzu dog joke.
When dogs get old...
...do they suffer from "arf"-ritis?
What do you call a dog after he turns 13 years old?
A K19!
As a non-native speaker I was kinda proud when I came up with this one.
Got dad joked by 13 yr old girl foster kid....Where do dogs hate to go shopping?
I went with my father to take our old dog to the vet...
...They didn't let me in but I could hear parts of the conversation behind the door.
Apparently our old dog is going to be given to Youth in Asia.
My 6 year old daughter asks me, "what kind of dog is that?"
"I don't know. "
"It's an 'I don't know' dog?"
I'm so proud.
My Dads old dog joke
Yeah I used to have a dog... spent weeks training him. Finally taught him to not eat anything, and then he died on me!
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces:
"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
There's two old men and a dog sitting on a porch.......
The dog starts licking his nuts. One man says, "I sure wish I could do that". The other man replies, "That dog will bite you".
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