I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
I hear so much about people hating phenobarbital but what dose did you take? IMO it’s much better than benzos much more euphoric and energetic anxiety relief, of course unless you lay down and get comfortable in bed.
Bought a “sample* pack and loved it, just got 5 more boxes because; loved it at either 100mg + 15 mg of Clorazepate (efficient prodrug for Desmethyldiazepam, valiums main metabolite, except in clorazepate form it’s much longer lasting because Nordazepam [aka Desmethyldiazepam] already has a 50-200 hour half life, lasts usually 24 hours for me] it’s kind of like the “Vyvanse” of Nordazepam, in that the metabolism makes it last longer)
Or 200 mg of Phenobarbital on its own, very euphoric, that dose was perfect for a party I went to, def better than benzos on their own. Felt a lot better, no doubt about it and I have a benzo prescription
- If you don’t agree with that, why?
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
And now I’m cannelloni
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
I hear so much about people hating phenobarbital but what dose did you take? IMO it’s much better than benzos much more euphoric and energetic anxiety relief, of course unless you lay down and get comfortable in bed. I also have Desmethyldiazepam prescription to use as needed and it’s good, but phenobarbital is much better than that. I’ve also tried Butalbital with Codeine and without and it was great a little better but, still phenobarbital is definitely a euphoric Gabaergic.
Bought a “sample* pack from Ukraine (Let me know if you know the vendor Lol) and loved it, just got 5 more boxes because; loved it at either 100mg + 15 mg of Clorazepate (efficient prodrug for Desmethyldiazepam, valiums main metabolite, except in clorazepate form it’s much longer lasting because Nordazepam [aka Desmethyldiazepam] already has a 50-200 hour half life, lasts usually 24 hours for me] it’s kind of like the “Vyvanse” of Nordazepam, in that the metabolism makes it last longer)
Or 200 mg of Phenobarbital on its own, very euphoric, that dose was perfect for a party I went to, def better than benzos on their phone own. Felt a lot better
- If you don’t agree with that, why?
