It was A minor error.
It wasn’t very cleaver.
My girlfriend and I opened a new pack of pre-sliced cheese. As we’re munching, I hold my mouth in pain and say “Ow!” She asked what was wrong and I said, “Well no wonder my mouth hurts, the package says this is extra sharp cheddar.” She was not amused
An extension chord!
Soprano and Alto: Stop causing treble for other singers.
Bass singers: Stop bringing us down.
And remember our Grand Staff meeting next weekend... assuming we compose ourselves properly and no one gets a flat from something sharp on the way there.
Once upon a time Quasimodo was growing old and wanted to retire. Before he could, he had to hire someone new to ring the bells of the Church of Notre Dame in his place. He placed an ad in the newspaper but only one man showed up for the interview. This man happened to have no arms. The man begged Quasimodo to give him a chance, and that despite his appearance he could indeed perform the duties of the job. Quasimodo eventually caved and gave him a chance. The next day at 1:00 sharp they met in the bell tower. The man with no arms takes a wide stance near the edge of the room and charges directly towards the bell at a dead sprint. He smacks the bell squarely with his head and it produces a wonderful sonorous ring. Pleased with the results, Quasimodo tells him that if he can continue to ring the bell for the rest of the day he has the job. 2:00 passes and the man with no arms headbuts the bell twice, at 3:00 three times, and on and on until at 12:00 he produces only 11 rings before he was so disoriented and concussed that he charges right past the bell, over the railing, and falls to his death. The next day when the police investigate the mysterious death of an unknown man with no arms Quasimodo was asked if he knew anything about the dead man. He told them " I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell"
We took a sharp turn and the visibility improved a lot. I said, whew, no more squinting.
My boyfriend said, glad that's behind us.
Help, does this mean I'm pregnant?
No idea, but their claws are F-ing sharp!
Needed information: My family and I are pretty big Chicago Blackhawks fans. There is a player on the Blackhawks with the name Patrick Sharp.
Story:
For Christmas I got a bunch of Blackhawk themed shirts ranging from t-shirts to long sleeved t-shirts that look like actual jerseys themselves. I got a decent amount of them from my girlfriend's family, so my family didn't see them right away as I opened them at their house. When I got home, I was very excited show them to my family.
So when I grab the long sleeved t-shirt jersey to show to my mom and she says, "Wow that is Sharp!".
I respond back with a grin on my face with a quick "No, there isn't a name on the back of it at all."
It clicked after a few seconds, but I got a groan and a "You knew what I meant..."
Really close family friend of ours told us this one that allegedly happened while he was on duty. I'm going to tell it from his perspective, as it reads the 'funniest'.
So I'm on duty and we have to go and put out a simple brush fire off to the side of a busy intersection. Since it's the dry season of Southern California literally the smallest spark can cause a giant fire you know, so we're trying to put it out pretty fast. So we arrive there and we notice that an ambulance is speeding down the road to this one pretty sharp bend, and you know, they're making haste since they're on a code 3. A code 3 is where both the siren and the lights are on at the same time and they obviously have something that they need to do. Anyways, they're speeding around this corner and one of the backdoors gets flung open and a cooler flies out and lands at the curb. By this point we've handled the fire and we're just assessing the damage, like where it's spread, stuff like that, so I go and retrieve the container and I open it and inside there's a human toe in there. I tell most of my crew and we decide that we'll get the toe back to the paramedics and then head back to the station. So we call the emergency services and we let them know that some EMT's have left a human body part and didn't come back to get it. They tell us, "we'll have someone come pick it up soon". We wait about 20 minutes and no one arrives and we're all a bit startled that no one's come back to come pick up a fucking human toe, so we call back and they give us the same thing. Half an hour goes by so I decide to call AAA and see if they can help us. Sure enough, AAA is able to help us and within 10 minutes they dispatch the help we need by sending us a toe truck.
Bf: "ouch, I cut myself pretty bad."
Me: "oh no! Are you ok?!"
Bf: "careful, that cheese is extra sharp!"
Me: "...........(groan)...wait, did you not actually cut yourself?"
Bf: "nope."
Bf laughs hysterically.
