Nightly (band) Puns

They really saxophoned it in.

"Slayer?"

"No, I just shook my head."

important, my family speaks Spanish

After my school's Christmas concert, I went out to eat with my family. They were asking me about some people who were announced for having made it into the All-State Band and Orchestra, one of which was a string bass player (contrabajo in Spanish).

I told them: "Si... Ella toca contrabajo. (Yes... She plays string bass.)"

And my dad replies: "¿Pues si toca con trabajo, porque la aceptaron? (Well if she plays with difficulty, why did they accept her?)"

TL;DR: Contrabajo = string bass, con trabajo = with difficulty

They totally kilt it.

And this is how the conversation went,

Her: "I really like to discuss politics, I wish you did too."

Me: "I do like to discuss them. I just don't like arguing like you do."

Her: "I don't like to argue, I like debate."

Me: "Yeah, well, so do fish."

We both sensibly chuckled.

It was madness

I was telling my friend about a band I saw last night:

Me: "I saw a band last night"

Friend: "What band?"

Me: "The band is called 'Ultrasound'"

Friend: "Are they any good?"

Me: "Don't know, didn't hear a thing"

It was hot inside the venue. Shtty Adlts played a sweet set and said, "Thanks guys, and especially to our biggest fan," and pointed at the industrial fan.

Pretty good band, five stars.

Turns out they were an elastic band.

I'm not sure why bands are throwing chicken at people nowadays, but I guess at least fans won't go hungry.

We were looking at alternative metals, and we both agreed that the meteorite ring was not only the coolest looking in general, but the fact that it came from space made it a clear winner.

Her: "Maybe I should get meteorite in my wedding band too so we can match."

Me: "So you know what this means? It means that our love is out of this world!"

I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. She's a nurse, so I figured she'd dress my wound better than I could. She started off with cleaning up the cut with a betadine swab.
Wife: "This might sting a little bit."
Me: Yup. Yup that stings.
Wife: Sing a song. It'll take your mind off of it.
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, Those days are over you don't have to sell your body to the night..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "You know who sings that, right?"
Wife: "Yeah, the Police."
Me: "Who and the Police?"
Wife: "Sting?"
Me: "Yes it does."

I was having a problem with my left leg going numb (sciatic) and went to the chiropractor. My dad asked about it and I said, "The chiropractor said I had a twisted pelvis." His response, "Twisted Pelvis...that sounds like a band you would listen to." He was proud of himself.

My friends were having a light-hearted argument about bands or something of the sort, when the friend standing next to me said "Godzilla2y, back me up on this!"

I stepped behind him, placed my hands on his shoulders, and backed him up a few steps. "Okay, now what?" I asked.

A collective groan was heard throughout my suite.

There was a certain boy band playing at the Rose Bowl last night. We were driving by and the other side of the freeway had a lot of traffic. She said, "Wow, look at that."

I replied, "Looks like traffic is backed up in One Direction."

GF "Well we met in Marching Band" Dad "Well you know what that means? Your kids are gonna be horny!"

My dad, sister and I were driving home the other night when a U2 song came on the radio. He asked us if we knew what the song was about (Sunday Bloody Sunday). I knew, and mentioned it's unfortunate source. My sister then asks from the back seat "Are U2 Irish?" to which my dad responds "Nope! We're Canadian!" and then begins laughing so hard that he is practically in tears and snorting. He didn't stop for a good 2 or 3 minutes. My sister and I just shook our heads slowly.

Last night I had to go to my son's 6th grade band concert. He plays the trumpet. Most of the band, like my son, only started playing their instruments this year so the quality was far less than professional.

We walked out of the school together and he had a hop to his step feeling really proud. It was a shame to tell him that I could barely see him let alone hear him by the squeaks and honks him and his classmates created.

I rubbed his hear and asked, "You play the trumpet, right son?"

He gave me a strange look. "You know I do, dad."

"So, you got to toot your own horn tonight, huh?'

His eye roll was worth it.

The nice part was being able to retell it to my older step daughter who giggled at my joke. A two for one!

Courtney Love once asked Jon Bon Jovi to name her new band. Bon Jovi jokingly suggested 'Hole'.

Love though this was great - provocative and rude - so she went with it. Her ex, Corey Hart, of 'Sunglasses At Night' fame, did not approve. He sought to confront Bon Jovi on the night of Hole's first gig and, a little drunk, tried to climb the fence of Bon Jovi's LA estate.

Bon Jovi, thinking Hart an intruder, winged him with a gun belonging to Bono and The Edge's tour manager, who was dining there that night. The ensuing fracas was in all the papers, overshadowing Hole's debut, and angering Kurt Cobain, who was interested in Hole's lead singer.

Cobain sent Jon Bon Jovi a note, demanding he apologise, and Bon Jovi replied ...

"Shot Corey Hart, and U2 blamed. You give Love a band name."

Every year we go on a family beach vacation, and usually one night of the week we go out to a bar and drink. We had been at the bar for about an hour and a half, and the band was coming back from their set break...

Me: I don't know about you guys, but I'm about to go cut the rug...

Cousin: I'm gonna go cut the wood floor cuz I'm gonna dance so hard...

Dad: (looks at his watch) I'm going to cut out, I'm pretty tired.

Then he actually got up and left.

Girlfriend: We should go to a 5 Seconds To Summer concert! [one of her favorite bands]

Me: We're too late. That would've been at 11:55:55 PM last night.

Girlfriend: ... oooOOOHHH because today is the first day of summer on the calendar!

My father in law pumped this out at a dinner the other night. The band was coming up to play a song and the MC for the night said "take it away guys" to which my in law responded with "where are they taking it? We're right here!"

Maximum groaning all round.

So there's this band I like, called Insomnium. My dad saw me wearing one of their shirts and asked me "so I'm guessing you like this Insomnium then?". I confirmed this theory, to which he asked me "Do they keep you up at night?".

They kilt it.