What do you call margarine's sassy walk?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RonPossible
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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The new sailor, Leo, asked me where the ship's cook could be found.

I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."

I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Konamicoder
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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(UK) A B-road walks into a bar.

The B-road starts bragging extensively about his status as a B-road. The bar staff and patrons aren't impressed.

Then, an A-road struts in. The A-road immediately starts criticising the B-road, whilst also bragging about his own status. The two get into a big argument, and the patrons are starting to get riled up.

Then, a motorway barges his way into the bar, and starts boasting that he is better than the A-road and B-road combined. The argument escalates, and some customers grab their belongings, preparing to leave.

And then, a solid white line walks into the bar.

The whole bar falls silent. The argument stops dead in its tracks, and the three roads immediately disperse, avoiding eye contact with the new customer.

The solid white line goes up to the bar, orders a drink, and consumes it slowly. The bar is still silent. As soon as he is finished, the solid white line turns and leaves the bar without a word. The three roads breathe a sigh of relief.

The barman is astounded. "What the hell was that about?!" he exclaims.

"We don't mess with him" mutters the motorway.

"Why not?"

"He's a cycle path".

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShredderSte
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Three pieces of string want to go into a no strings allowed bar.

The first piece of string says itโ€™s all about the attitude and struts into the bar. The bouncer looks at him and says, โ€œno stings allowedโ€ and throws him out.

The second piece of string says, โ€œyouโ€™ve got to be sneakyโ€ and tries to sneak in. But the bouncer sees him and says โ€œno stings allowedโ€ and throws him out.

The third piece of string thinks โ€œmaybe if I disguise myselfโ€. He then ties himself into a know and frays his edge. The bouncer looks at him confused and asks, โ€œhey, are you a string?โ€

The sting replies, โ€œno, Iโ€™m a frayed knotโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sirmorganc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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