What agency does the president call upon when craving a late night snack?

The Secret Room Service

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GrayWolf85
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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What do you call people who only wear socks at night?

Sockturnal

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ConradFlick
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Last night at dinner, we were eating sushi, so I asked my wife, "What do you call refusing to incriminate your salmon?"

She swung and missed (getting to "Pleading the fifth" before eventually ending up at "Salmon the fifth?").

Then my 5-year-old daughter asked, "What was the first word you said?" and when told it was "Pleading," she said, "It would be 'Pleading the FISH'!"

I've never been so proud of her.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JoshSamBob
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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A total dad joke I made up last night- What do you call an avocado that's giving you the silent treatment?

An Incommunicado

Eh?!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mdooles11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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What do you call someone who's only interested in one night stands?

Humpty Dumpty

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/invisible_being
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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What do you call the night before Saint Lawrenceโ€™s Day?

Yves Saint Laurent

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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What do machines call their one night stands?

Nut and bolt

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Epicface227
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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I was on the phone last night with my niece and she said what do you call someone laying on the floor.

My brother said a liar and she goes no, Matt! Very proud of her.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Runningforbeer343
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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What do you call a date night in New Jersey?

A pokin' in Hoboken.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DatOtherPapaya
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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What do you call a lady of the night with a flatulence problem?

A prostitoot!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/blakemate22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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What do you call a night watchman at a pumpkin patch?

Security Gourd

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/brassman1971
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Last night I asked my dog what we should call the top of our house

He just looked at me like he had no clue what I said.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zdws19
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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What do you call that Creature of the Night that wears black, red and green?

VampIrish

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/owls_n_bees
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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So Donald Trump (or "the Don" as some call him) has realized that illegal immigrants must be deported at night so that no one will see them leaving and complain...

The problem, however, is that there isn't enough light for the immigrants to find their way back to Mexico. Because of this, the Don institutes his "Early Light" plan in order to give the immigrants a way to see. One immigrant, Jose, is partially blind, so they are wondering if the "Early Light" program will still allow him to see. The ask him: Jose can you see by the Don's "Early Light."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JoahTheProtozoa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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What do you call a person who lies awake at night ?

A liar

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Wakanda4eva4eva
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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What do you call a turtle that stays up all night?

Noc-turtle

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DreadedShred
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2019
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What do you call a joke at night

Dark Humor

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/King_K-9
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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What do you call a hardware store that is rabid at night?

A Ware-house

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/century1goomba
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06 2019
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I got a call in the middle of the night, and when I answered, the person on the other end of the lineโ€™s teeth were chattering...

Turns out it was a cold caller!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06 2018
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What do you call a single breast out at night?

๐ŸŽตmammary, all alone in the moonlight...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gwtkof
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 01 2017
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I was waiting in line for my tickets to the LA Phil last night when the box office staff asked "is everyone in this line here for Will Call? This is the line for Will Call."

To which I replied, "No, I'm here for Beethoven. Who the heck is Will Call?" Worth it for the few 'extra air out of the nose' laughs I got from the three people around me.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/numba1dmxfan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
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What do you call the kind of woman you'd take home with a kebab after a night out?

Donna.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JamesDavidsonLives
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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What do you call it when a robot has a one night stand?

Nut and bolt

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BinaryPeach
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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